Silently declaring him enemy number one, I gently rubbed my flat belly, as if apologizing for its maternal grandmother and how ungodly she could be when in the throes of demanding I straighten out my life or I would be forever disinherited from my father’s will. Her threats were simply that—threats. I knew for a fact that my father wouldn’t do such a thing, because I was his only child. Not to mention the fact that my paternal grandparents had placed a lockdown on who was going to inherit what my father had inherited to begin with, which was solely blood-related heirs, with their spouses excluded—a category my mother was in, not I. This profoundly irked her because, even though her family had money and were considered rich, they were not wealthy like my father’s family. I supposed she was one lucky lady to have a doting husband who worshipped the ground she walked on, or she’d end up divorced and penniless with a notorious temper to boot.
“How could you disgrace your husband and your family with such foolishness, Ava? You were brought up to be better than rubbish. I didn’t raise you to become a married harlot and bear a poor man’s child!” she spat out, sounding as though she was hyperventilating over the phone. “You’re carrying a bastard child! You have to get rid of it! That’s the only way I can forgive you, or we will never speak to you again. Is that understood?”
That did it! Gone was my sleepiness, and in came my uncontrollable rage, wanting to tear her to pieces. I blew a gasket.
“How dare you call my baby a bastard! First off, the poor man you’re referring to isn’t so poor anymore! In fact, he’s probably ten times richer than any of us combined. And, more to the point, my child might be a bastard to the rest of you lot, but what matters most is that this child of mine will be loved. I’ll make bloody damn sure he or she won’t know how simple minded and pathetic their grandmother is, because you won’t ever know this baby!” My raging tirade wasn’t finished.
“You’ll disown me? Well, how about I renounce you as my horrid mother? All my life, you have done nothing except undermine whatever it was I wanted to do because it would be embarrassing for you. Well, guess what, dearest mother? You’re your own embarrassment. No one truly respects a woman who made everyone around her want to take their own lives because it’s so much easier to die than deal with your never-ending moans and whines. No one likes you, not even your so-called friends. They all pretend they do, but the truth is, I heard one of them say they’d wish you’d disappear from their lives. Without father, you would have no one, and that’s the sad, tragic truth.”
The line went eerily quiet, although I could hear faint traces of her breaths.
“How dare you make such fabricated lies to hurt me! Your father will make you pay for this. I hope you and your bastard child live a hard, excruciating life. Let’s see how long you’ll last.” After the last word parted from her poisonous lips, she immediately cut the call.
Throwing the phone on top of my duvet, I huffed as if the device had scalded me while my mother’s words rang in my ears. What sort of woman would wish their own flesh and blood to go through hardship? What kind of woman did that? That was a harsh, cold-hearted thing to say, even for her. I mean, I had known she would be a bit mad and a little off the bender, but I had still thought she possessed a functioning heart.
Our conversation had dispelled any doubts that her soul was as black as coal. My mother was the same as always—hiding behind threats of my father’s wrath.
Reeling from her bashful treatment, I stayed in bed until I knew I wasn’t shaking from rage. She had the knack for pressing the wrong buttons, and the second she had called my baby a bastard, the loose screw had become unhinged.
After last night’s tiresome encounter with Reiss, I had little energy left to move. He had obviously had alcohol in his system, and therefore, he basically spouted whatever came to mind. Most of the words I wished to have never heard. My heart wasn’t in tune with my brain; both were functioning as they pleased.
Apart from his unwelcomed opinion and thoughts, he and I had agreed that we would co-parent the baby, and we’d eventually take time in the future to set a schedule that would suit us both. I get to have five days while he’d settle for two, for the time being. It was rather surprising that I could almost describe our conversation as harmonious since we hadn’t bickered.
After his spiteful words, once we had started discussing baby matters, his overall tone had shifted into being much more relaxed and seemingly approachable. I admit, it was nice to be around him without any sort of strain. I had almost forgotten how amazing it was to simply admire him from afar. I supposed some things never changed, like my serious fixation on the very man himself as well as knowing I could literally watch him all day and not grow bored of it.
The time would come when he’d eventually marry, and I knew that, when the day did arrive, I wouldn’t be prepared to say goodbye. After all, I had refused before. Maybe I’d simply love the man forever, unconditionally and hopelessly. It was rather wretched to admit this; however, he was the one who’d gotten away, and he had taken my heart along with him.
“I need to stop thinking about him, or I’ll end up starving myself,” I said to myself as I reluctantly called room service for a simple scrambled eggs with only freshly cracked pepper as its seasoning along with white toast and a glass of fresh orange juice.
I could do light meals, but if I went beyond eggs and toast, my stomach ended up revolting. Retching continuously almost on a daily basis made me somewhat weary and afraid of food. It was a bad fear since the baby needed nutrition to grow, although the thought of food had begun to give me goose bumps. Never had I imagined pregnancy would turn me into a picky eater. Alas, this was a tiny price to pay for the miracle I had never thought would be granted to me. I was more than grateful for that.
Just as I had anticipated, my breakfast went down fine. Though I was still a little unsettled, I thought I would be able to be around common folks. Allie and I were meeting up after she had lunch with her mum. I intended to break my silence and tell her that I was expecting, and of course, the fact that it wasn’t Ashton’s as well as the details of my sudden decision to divorce him. Then there was also the fact that Craig was actually Reiss … Yeah, this catching up over coffee would most likely take up the rest of the afternoon.
I was already bracing myself for her drilling questions and those endless looks that usually gave away how worried she was about me. Apart from these major setbacks, I was actually looking forward to seeing her. After being awakened by my mother’s irrational upheaval, I needed someone to talk to. Well, if truth be told, I simply needed someone to sit there while I vented out every single intricate frustration I had with my life at the moment. Just like psychotherapy without the psycho bit attached.