Once I had found the perfect spot behind a private building, I parked in the alleyway that led to a small garden with enough trees to give us privacy. I took a loud breath before killing the engine as I stared at the dashboard.
“I’m going to say this once. I expect you to explain what I just witnessed in that restaurant.” My emotions were running amuck, and I couldn’t differentiate any of it, because I was too livid and too caught up with Ashton’s hands holding hers to think coherently.
When she didn’t immediately respond, I bit the bottom of my lip as I loosened my tie. I felt like the bloody thing was suffocating me, making it much harder to think.
“There’s really no point of being jealous, Reiss. Didn’t last night prove that?”
There is every point.
“You were letting him touch you! I could only be thankful that none of my associates knew you’re my wife, or else I would’ve been greatly humiliated by your thoughtless actions! Ashton knows that you married me, so you letting him touch you only gives him encouragement to keep trying to win you back. Is that what you want, Ava? Do you want to go back to him?”
“Are you trying to be rid of me?” A sob caught in her voice. “You use me, and the second you’re done, you couldn’t care less about what happens to me. Well, fine, I’m not going to stand in your way. I’ll be out of the house by the time you come home tonight.”
She was about to yank the door open when I pressed the lock button, far from done discussing this with her.
“Open the bloody door, Reiss!”
I wanted to throttle her and demand what the hell was going on in that pretty head of hers. I hadn’t expected her to say those things, and I was too caught off guard by her words to have a clue what to say next. I expected this conversation to be about what had happened at the restaurant and for us to agree we’d openly tell each other if we were about to dine with anyone in particular. Her irrational response wasn’t what I’d had in mind—far from it. She had gone off the rocket with that one.
“I swear, I am done with you! You used me. Last night, I gave you something I hadn’t thought of giving anyone, and I did all of that because I love you. But this blasted love is pointless, because you’re a heartless swine. All you care about is hurting me. Well, you’ve done a splendid job at making me weep, again.” She paused before reaching out to grip my face with her hand, nails digging into my skin as she scathingly studied my face. When I tried to look away, she let out a harsh sound. “Look at me, you coward! Take a bloody look at me!”
I reluctantly did before immediately feeling inept.
“I’m hurting … so please, open the door and let me go,” she begged, her eyes furiously shedding tears.
Without blinking, I felt her pain digging itself into my soul.
“Sorry, but I can’t do that. You’re not going anywhere. Not today, not tomorrow, and most assuredly not until this shit is over. You cry foul when I kindly asked you to tell me what was behind your date with Ashton? Is that so wrong, Ava? Why throw what happened last night in my face? Last night’s events have nothing to do with right now. I need to know what is going on between you two, or it’ll drive me mad trying to figure out what went on between you two.”
“He’s leaving tomorrow, and he wanted to see me before going back to the states. I don’t have any intention of being with another man. You just confuse me. One second, you’re acting like a mad, jealous man; then, in the blink of an eye, you’re aloof and distant, acting as if nothing’s happened between us.” She wiped a tear before continuing, “Though I don’t know if it’s relevant or not, Ash did ask if he could kiss and hold me one last time.”
Ash. Yeah, the bastard might as well have asked her if he could shag her for the last time. “And did you—did you say yes?”
“He never gave me the chance to respond. He said to think about it and give him my response after dessert.”
How convenient.
“Did you—did you want to do it?” I knew the risk of asking such a question, yet had to know even if it was somehow killing me inside to wait for her answer.
“It doesn’t matter.” She brushed it off as if to purposely taunt me.
It had worked like a charm.
“It doesn’t matter,” I muttered under my breath. “I see.” She was royally fucking with my head, and I was letting her do it. “So, if I tell you that I’ll go see Hilary tonight and do bloody knows what, I’m sure it wouldn’t matter to you, would it? Since none of it is pertinent any longer.”
“Go ahead. I don’t care. Now will you open the door?”
This infuriating woman never did the things I expected her to.
“You are not leaving me, Ava!” I almost screamed in her face, wanting to project how frustrated I was inside. I couldn’t fully explain or disclose what I was going through without sounding like I was desperate, though. I simply couldn’t let her see how she got to me. I just couldn’t. She was lethal to my health, to my life and welfare. “So answer me! Did you or did you not want to give in to your ex-husband’s farewell request?” My body shook with fear of her answer and from the anger that was running through my veins.
She looked away, staring at her exposed, smooth thighs. “No, not even for a second. I promised not to betray you, but even then, I just can’t keep betraying myself by letting him touch me when I keep wishing it was you. The past years have proven that.”
Relief coursed through my body. I felt like a balloon that just popped, releasing all the tension from my body as I strived to level my breathing. “Would you mind—would you come here? I just want to hold you.”
She seemed uncertain for a second before she gave a fragile nod.
Pushing the seat backwards to give enough room, I gently scooped up her body and situated her across my lap with her head against my shoulder. Relief still coursed through me as I closed my eyes. This conversation had almost made us both lose our minds and throw away this … whatever this was at the moment.
“I don’t want you to go, so please stop threatening me with it. If I come out harsh, it’s because I’m not accustomed to expressing myself like I used to. The times when I’m aloof, it’s mostly because I’m stressed out about something. If it’s not work, it’s you. I can’t always give in to this possessed need to always want you, Ava. You must understand the strain that I’m under. I know it’s not an excuse, but give me time to get used to it, and I’m sure I’ll learn how to manage these problems along the way.