“You felt responsible for his death.” It was a statement, not a question.
Fresh tears glassed her beautiful eyes. “Of course. I hurt him. I broke his heart, which led him to his death.”
Chapter 5
Ava
“We all make mistakes. There’s no need for you to carry a torch for this long. You just have to accept that.” Craig’s unabashed words struck deep into my core.
I appreciated his words of concern, I truly did. However, guilt wasn’t the only thing I held onto. There were so many factors that came into play that it was hard to even think about or discuss with a stranger who simply wouldn’t understand what I was going through, especially a stranger who could be his long-lost twin.
Swiping the tears that threatened to spill down the sides of my face, I tried to hold my composure as I braved a smile. “I understand what you’re saying—of course I do—but there were a lot of things that are quite difficult to put into words. Sometimes”—I paused, shaking my head as I attempted to utter the next few words—“sometimes I dream of him.” Gazing towards the man sitting across from me, I pushed my worries away. “These dreams are of him alive … somewhere.” Holding my breath, I softly blew it out as I prepared myself to say the next difficult words. “You see, once they put out the fire, they never found his body.”
“And … this makes you believe that he’s alive?” He pressed his lips together, eyeing me warily. “I see.”
Though Craig was the mirror of Reiss, I’d have hardly thought Reiss would ever have been as successful as Craig, because Reiss didn’t plan on going to school or doing anything with his life other than working for his dad. Once his father retired, his goal had been to take over his father’s position. He hadn’t held any wild notions of what his future would bring; he had been a simple man—uncomplicated—and had enjoyed the little things in life that most people took for granted.
“Anyhow … enough of my theories and thoughts. I hope this little jaunt made you understand, or maybe not understand, per se, but grasp how it’s been for me.” A part of me hoped he’d want to get in touch, but I knew, after tonight, I wouldn’t be bothering him again. Besides, this whole situation had made me realize I should start focusing back on my marriage.
“Maybe it’s time for me to go back home to my husband in New York. I came out here to clear my head and be around my friends and family”—I took a moment, pausing to gather my breath—“but to be honest, it was because I was getting frustrated with my life. My husband stopped trying to get us pregnant, because he’s been so busy, and I was hurt by that.”
“I was starting to wonder if that ring of yours was just a ploy to make the men stay away from you,” he said in an observing tone, green eyes intense as his gaze dropped on said ring. “Maybe, instead of telling me about your frustrations, you should tell him, and that would solve your problem. Don’t you think so, Ava?”
There was something in his tone I didn’t like. However, in place of addressing what that was about, I merely nodded my head, thinking it was time to call it a night.
“You’re right; maybe it’s time I stop running away from my problems and start addressing them. Ashton won’t know what’s bothering me unless I tell him.”
“Good.”
Trying in earnest not to frown at his drastic change of attitude, I finished sipping my coffee. “You never drank yours.”
“I don’t like milk in my coffee.”
“Oh.” I paused, thinking on how I had been too rash to even consider how he liked his java. “We can order another one. It’s on me.”
His unwavering, penetrating gaze never left me. I hadn’t minded it before, but with his odd turn in behavior, it became glaringly obvious the more he barely spoke to me.
When he didn’t respond to my kind offer, I met his eyes full on. “You seem to stare at me quite a bit.” His gaze had never given out the vibe that it was the creepy sort. It was as if he couldn’t help himself from looking at me. I’d been married for so long these things never swayed me away from Ashton. However, given that this man across from me was similar to my departed beloved, it was becoming harder to deny my attraction to him.
“Aren’t you used to it by now?” His murmur felt like silk on my skin. “You’re beautiful, and I find it very hard to look away.”
Biting the bottom of my lip, I gawked, knowing I was skirting a very fine thread of temptation. God help me, I was beyond tempted to relive a little of what I had lost, too. He might not be the real Reiss, but I could pretend it was him, even if only for a short amount of time.
As I blushed, Ashton’s loving face appeared before my eyes, as if to give me a warning. “I’m a married woman.”
He didn’t blink before saying, “A lonely one, at that.”
True, I was bloody lonely. How long had it been since Ashton and I’d had good sex? Ever since he’d been promoted, all he ever had in mind was sex, not shagging. There was a difference between the two. To me, sex meant sex—you simply reached your orgasm without any intention of emotional intimacy. Shagging … well, it was primal and powerful. It was animalistic, and both parties felt entwined, emotionally and physically, as they pleasured each other, whether the pace was rough or slow.
How long had it been for me? Too long, really, since I couldn’t quite recall when the last time had been. Knowing this vital tidbit made it rather frightening to be around Craig Chambers. An extramarital affair was something that hadn’t entered my brain until tonight. Frightening … it truly was.
“Craig,” I whispered his name, “whatever it is you think you’re doing … don’t do it.”
His jade green eyes sparkled fire. “What am I doing, Ava?” he sexily taunted. “I’m sitting across from you, not even touching you at all.”
“You know what I’m talking about …” How had we gotten to this point? We had been having coffee—or I had been having coffee—while we had discussed what had happened three nights ago. Seemingly, amidst the past and the recollections, we somehow had ended up here, capsized by this effervescent sexual tension.
“All right.” He nodded. “As you wish, Ava.” He then immediately stood up and pulled out his wallet, leaving a wad of bills on the table before he held out his hand.