“Don’t bother coming back. I don’t need you.”
The sudden shift of his mood from appearing sleepy to awake and brooding in a manner of seconds made me feel helpless.
“Get some rest. I’ll see you tonight,” I retorted, ignoring his spiteful words as I slowly opened the door, leaving.
“I don’t want you,” I heard him say on my way out, thrashing his words at me, aiming where it hurt most. Tears threatened to well in my eyes, but I kept blinking them back. Crying wouldn’t solve anything.
Someday, he’d to come back to me, I kept on believing. I had to keep faith. I had to remain strong for the both of us.
+++
I didn’t necessarily have to go out, but after the toxic mouth treatment from Toby, I had decided that I needed a change of scene. By doing so, his words wouldn’t affect me as much. It would make me endure his sharp tongue and snide remarks much better.
It was Anne’s celebration dinner amongst friends and family. She was Troy’s sister and I had RSVP’d a month before, confirming the invitation. She and I had become quite friendly when she would come out with us from time to time, partying and dancing. Besides, she was amazing, and I wanted to witness happiness around me, believing that happily-ever-after did happen to those who waited. To those who were patient.
Therefore, I celebrated with Troy, chatting and enjoying everyone’s conversations, sipping on wine and dining, half thinking about the passing time.
When it was time to leave their party, it wasn’t until half past midnight when I arrived at Toby’s place. I wasn’t sure how he would react to me this time since I had told him that I would be coming back. Then again, he had said that he didn’t want me back. Here was hoping my luck would be much better tonight.
I had barely shut the door while I slid the key into my small, clutch purse and was about to stride towards the hall when I was greeted by his presence, staring broodingly at me.
Clearing my throat, I forced myself to speak. “Hello,” I squeaked. “I’m back.”
His eyes scathingly went over my body, roaming with disapproval. “You went out looking like that? Since when did you start dressing like a whore?” Sneering his words, he was ruthless and unkind. “Who did you dress for? Troy? I bet he was there, wasn’t he?”
I dressed for you… I had wanted him to see me and devour me on the spot. I hadn’t expected him to be in such a foul mood already. Was he always going to be this way? Why did he hate me so much?
I licked my lips, fiercely blinking back the tears that were about to form in my eyes.
“You haven’t answered me, Lucy.” In a flash, he was right in my face, circling me like a predator. “Was he there or not?”
Silence was golden they said…
“Cat got your tongue?”
Maybe pushing him so much wasn’t a good idea. Maybe I’d had too much alcohol to tolerate his mean attitude because, whatever shield I’d had on yesterday, simply wasn’t working right this second.
“I’ll—” I gasped out, meeting his eyes. He didn’t look inviting. After the long talk I’d had with Troy about my troubles, I was too exhausted—too everything—to deal with this. “You know what? I just realized that I’m knackered. I’ll probably just go home and sleep.”
Spinning around to leave, I immediately felt both his arms around my body, locking me in place. “Don’t. Move. A. Muscle.”
I didn’t. His voice simply chilled me. It was as if this man wasn’t Toby because this person before me enjoyed causing me pain.
“I told you not to come back here, but you didn’t listen. So you’ll wait until I give you clearance to leave.” He circled me once, stopping in my line of sight, asking, “What will it take for you to go? Let’s forget about the farcical talks of friendships—never happening.”
Toby… was gone. There was no denying it. It had been a little over a week ago when the man had been weeping in my arms, holding onto me. He now was dead.
He’d died along with them.
His family…
“If I have women here, will that make you uncomfortable? If I fucked them before you, would it bother you at all?”
It would kill me inside. “Is that what you want? To have sex with other women?” It hurt to ask, but I had to.
“I can do whatever I want,” he said, challenging me to fight back, yet the last thing I wanted was to fight, let alone banter for his own satisfaction.
“I could always come back when you’re all alone again.” Or maybe I just wouldn’t since I meant nothing to this stranger.
He barked out a cruel laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “You didn’t before because I had Amelia… Now that she’s dead, you’re fine with fucking me again. That’s sensible.”
“She was your wife,” I whispered, hating the word wife on my lips.
Ruthless he surely was as he gave me a death stare. “That day of the wedding—you showing up and leaving ten minutes after you arrived—what the hell were you doing there?”
I had been there to stop him—to beg—but we had been surrounded by people and I hadn’t wanted to risk embarrassment in case he’d declined me. Besides, he had gotten Amelia pregnant and agreed to be engaged and marry almost immediately. What had I had to compete with Amelia? Nothing…
“I didn’t feel well that day. I was sick.” And I had been sick for a long period of time, puking my guts out even when there had been nothing left to come out. Troy had become so worried that he’d actually taken me to the hospital when blood started to show along with my saliva. Yes, I had been suffering more than anyone would ever know.
His questioning wasn’t done. “Blake and Sienna’s engagement—do you recall anything about that night?”
I remember everything that has you in it. Every. Single. Memory. “Barely,” I lied through my teeth, not feeling well.
He moved closer, fingers lifting my chin to meet his eyes. “You’ve successfully ejected me from your life. Consistently rejecting me whenever you could. And you’re planning on leaving the second you think I’m all better?”
No. “Yes—”
His fingers immediately withdrew from my face, as if it burnt him. “Well, I’m all better now.”
Why did he keep fighting me? Why couldn’t he for once be less defensive? Hadn’t he had enough?
“Toby, please, you were okay having me around when I was in Madrid. Stop—”