Felix didn't know what he felt about all he had heard that night.
He was shocked? Yeah. Stunned and... repulsed? No. Not really. Not for her. Just stunned a bit. And dazed. Too much story. Too much data. Too much monster.
They really know how to rip up Life, don't they?
But how did he feel about her? How did he really... ?
Say it, you stalling buffoon! Do you still... love her?
Yes, he thought at last.
And he smiled.
Now what, he wondered, am I smiling about?
The only other door to the room - the one to the bedroom used by the ladies - opened. It was Annabelle.
"Is she okay?" he whispered.
Annabelle first closed the door carefully behind her.
"I think she'll sleep," she said. "You should try to do the same."
Felix looked around at the empty room filled with smoke and overflowing ashtrays and half-empty glasses. The others had gone to their rooms.
"I'll just give her a few minutes."
Annabelle smiling knowingly. Sometime during Davette's tale she had busied herself knitting some large multicolored whatever. She resumed her seat and picked it up again.
"You were wonderful for her tonight," she said.
Felix shrugged. "Not hard to do."
"Then what took you so long?"
"What do you mean?" he asked innocently. "I've only known her for - "
"Felix!" she intoned, sounding like everyone's mother.
He stopped short, grinned. "Yeah. Well, I'm not used to this falling-in-love-at-first-sight stuff."
Annabelle grinned at him. "That's better."
"And..."
"And what?" she asked.
He turned around and busied himself making a drink he didn't need.
"I was angry that she was with Crow."
"What?" Annabelle gasped. "You thought that she and Jack were..."
"Huh? Oh, no. Not at all. But..." He lit a cigarette and looked at her. "See, I've been waiting for my wife to come along all my life and, well, avoiding this kind of shit at the same time. Then I see her and there's Jack and..." He shook his head. "I shoulda figured I couldn't have one without the other."
She thought he looked almost embarrassed. "She loves you, too, you know," she said.
He looked up. "You think?"
"I know so." She eyed him carefully. "Don't you?"
He looked at her quickly, looked down, smiled. "Yeah." This time he was definitely embarrassed.
"Figures," he added, "the way her luck's been running." And then they both smiled.
How weird you are, Felix, she thought. What a weird, dark, scary young man you are.
They were quiet for a while.
"Felix, what have you been doing all this time? Since Mexico?"
He shrugged. "I run the saloon."
"All this time?"
He shrugged again. "The past couple of years."
"And before that?"
But this time he just looked into his glass.
Annabelle eyed him carefully, a smile curling up.
"Felix, just how rich are you?"
He looked at her, surprised. "What makes you think I'm..."
"How rich?" she insisted.
He looked at her, relaxed, grinned. "Very."
"Millions?"
He smiled. "Many."
She nodded, almost to herself. "Rich, single, young, obviously well educated... Young man, what have you been doing all this time?"
And he looked at her and had no answer. But Jack Crow, at the doorway, did. "He's been waiting for me."
"Sometimes, Jack," drawled Felix lazily, "you sound just like you."
And the three of them laughed.
Crow fetched himself a glass of ice water and sat down across from them and got right to the point. "What's it gonna be, Felix? You coming with us tomorrow, or not?"
Felix put his cigarette out and closed his eyes and rubbed them.
"I don't know, Jack. I guess so. You're going to Davette's house, right?"
"Got to. Got to try."
Felix nodded. "I know. And... well, it's not like anyone's going to be there waiting for us. It's not another trap."
"Not so far as I know."
Felix nodded again. "Then I guess I'm in."
"For tomorrow."
"Yeah."
"And after that?"
Felix lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out slowly.
"No, Jack. No. Jack, it's not... it's just that I don't think you're a good deal. Sorry."
Crow shook his head. "That's okay."
But it hurt. Saying this was hurting Felix. And he wanted the other man to understand.
"Jack, it's just that... Dammit, they know who you are and they're gunning for you. And they're going to keep gunning for you. And you keep on doing this alone - " Felix stopped abruptly, looked down. "You shouldn't be doing this alone."
Jack Crow's voice was so tired and his eyes were so bright as he replied, "I know. But I can't get anyone else to help me."
"Yeah," Felix muttered.
And no one spoke after that for awhile.
Then Felix stood up, said good night, and left.
Jack watched him go and after he was gone he sighed and dragged out a cigarette and a light and leaned back wearily without lighting it.
He looks so tired, Annabelle thought. I've never seen him so tired.
And then she thought: I've never seen him like this at all.
And she felt the resentment for Felix welling up. Because Jack needed him so - they all needed him. Davette needed him. And Jack had been counting on him so much and he was so good at it and Jack was alone...
So alone.
"Poor bastard," Jack muttered to himself.
"What?" she asked.
"Felix."
"Felix?" she asked, amazed. "Why do you feel so sorry for him?"
Jack's smile was thin and grim. "Because here's this poor jerk who's... Hell, he's young and bright and, in his own way, plenty, plenty strong. And he can't do a goddamned thing but shoot. But he doesn't want to shoot. Doesn't want to be a shooter.
"So he doesn't do anything at all."
Annabelle frowned. "Jack, you're not making me feel any better about him."
He grinned. "But don't you see? Don't you see how he's trapped? Hell, he's always been - "
"All I see is you in a spot and a young... young I-don't-know is too scared to help you."
"Whoa, there, lady. It's not just scared. Besides, scared is smart. He - "
"Jack! Would you stop defending him?" she cried. He stopped, looked at her. "The more you take up for him, the less I like him," she said with exasperation.
And he grinned again.
What is he smiling about?
She had a bad thought.
"Jack, is that what you're hoping for, that the vampires will stop scaring him?"
He shook his head. "Oh, no! They'll never stop scaring him."
"Then what?"
"Sooner or later," he whispered fiercely, "they're going to piss him off."
