“Get in, don’t ask any questions, and don’t give me that look for holding your door open like a decent gentleman,” I warn her. “It’s a surprise.”
I’m not kidding when I said Rosa gave me some good instructions, after she punched me repeatedly in the arm for staying away from Molly. She called me every curse word she could think of before she told me I was an idiot for being introduced as the baby daddy to her family and then leaving her alone to deal with that shit by herself. It never even occurred to me that her family would probably wonder where I’d been or ask her a million questions about why I hadn’t been around, and I knew I had to do something to make up for being such an idiot.
“I don’t like surprises,” she mutters as she gets into the passenger seat and pulls the seat belt around her.
“Suck it up, buttercup. You’ll like this one, I promise,” I assure her before shutting the door and walking around the front of the van to get behind the wheel. After spilling my guts to Rosa and telling her everything I knew about Molly and asking her for ideas on how to make myself look like a good guy and other romantic shit I could do to win her over, Rosa pointed out something so obvious that I wanted to punch myself in the arm that I didn’t come up with it first.
When I called a few people this morning, they were really excited about my idea and even let me make them feel guilty as shit for not doing it themselves. Listening to them kick themselves in the ass over the phone made me forgive them for the car wash ride and bag of dicks contest.
“You’re not going to get in trouble for leaving work early, are you?” I ask, even though I already know the answer.
“Nope, as a matter of fact, my mom sent me a text a half hour ago and told me to go home and put my feet up,” Molly explains. “My poor fake baby had a rough day.”
As I pull out of the parking lot and onto the street, I sneak a glance at Molly as she looks away from me to stare out the window. I really hope this doesn’t turn out to be a bad idea. I’ll never be able to console Thor if he doesn’t get to meet her.
Chapter 13
– Shocker Honor –
Molly
“SURPRISE!”
I freeze in the middle of my parent’s backyard when Marco and I round the side of the house and twenty-five people jump up from chairs and tables set up all around the yard.
Everyone starts clapping, hooting, whistling and chanting my name. Marco squeezes my hand and I tear my eyes away from the chaos to look up at him.
“If this is a pregnancy party or a stupid baby shower, I’m baking your balls at 500 degrees instead of the required 350,” I growl.
He laughs, letting go of my hand to wrap his arm around my shoulder and pull me against his side. I’m in too much shock to move away from him, and he smells so delicious and his body feels so good pressed against mine that I forget about my family wondering if I’ve lost my mind by letting a guy get all grabby-hands in public.
“No, silly girl. This is a graduation party.”
Looking around the yard again, I see what I missed during my initial shock from the shouting and seeing the yard filled with my entire extended family. A giant Happy Graduation sign hangs between two trees, a couple dozen cardboard graduation hats hang from all the branchesfile:///F:/Books/8362015/Baking and Babies - Tara Sivec.epub and the centerpieces on all the paper-covered tables are bouquets of sugar cookies cut out and frosted to look like pastry hats, wooden spoons, whisks and other baking items.
“You threw me a graduation party?” I whisper in awe as a few members of my family start walking across the yard towards us.
“I felt bad that this fake pregnancy thing overshadowed the biggest accomplishment of your life. Just so you know, they all felt really horrible they forgot,” he tells me.
It’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, and I have to bite down on my bottom lip to stop myself from crying like a baby.
“I was starting to feel like Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles when her family forgot her birthday,” I whisper.
“Well then, you’ll be happy to know I did not sell a pair of your panties in the boy’s bathroom,” Marco announces proudly.
“Never, ever say the word panties again,” I warn him as my mom gets up to us and pulls me in for a hug.
“We are the worst people ever and I’m so sorry Molly,” she apologizes, raining kisses all over both my cheeks. “You should have smacked us in the face when we forgot to ask you about finals.”
She pulls away and holds me at arm’s length and I can see tears welling up in her eyes. Mom hates to cry in front of people just as much as I do, so I go easy on her before she starts snotting all over the place and embarrassing herself.
“Brace yourself, Mother. I’m joining Fight Club,” I announce, making two fists and bringing them up between us.
“I was being facetious. Don’t even think about punching me. I brought you into this world and I can—”
“Ooooh, bad call quoting Bill Cosby,” Dad interrupts. “Unless you plan on slipping a roofie in your daughter’s drink to make it more authentic.”
He pats Mom on the back and then moves her out of the way so he can give me his own hug. “Congratulations, baby girl. You worked your ass off, and I couldn’t be more proud.”
Uncle Carter, Aunt Claire, Uncle Drew, and Aunt Jenny each take their turns congratulating me, giving me hugs and apologizing for being assholes.
“It’s good to see you came back, M.O.,” Uncle Carter tells him, giving him a pat on the shoulder. “I thought for sure those hot dogs killed you, or at the very least you got a brain aneurism from the brushes at the car wash. You’re like a fucking cat!”
Aunt Claire looks at her husband in confusion. “Because he’s selfish and licks his own ass?”
“I meant because he has nine lives, but sure, you’re way is good too,” he tells her with a shrug.
“Why did you call him Mo?” Aunt Jenny asks Uncle Carter.
“Minivan Operator,” Uncle Carter replies. “You know, minivan? From Urban Dictionary.”
Aunt Jenny smiles and nods her head in understanding. “Oh, I get it! Because you can fit four people in the front and nine people in the back!”
Uncle Carter shakes his head. “I don’t think it means what you think it means.”
Aunt Jenny rolls her eyes. “Yes I do. Drew and I have done the minivan and he can definitely fit nine in the back.”
Everyone groans and Marco leans down close to my ear.
“I’m ashamed to say I really thought you were kidding about them,” he whispers.
“Since we’re all here, we need to discuss something important,” Mom announces as Marco moves away from my ear. “Grandpa George is on his way and he doesn’t know about the pregnancy.”
Grandpa George is actually Aunt Claire’s father. Even though he’s not blood-related, I’ve known him all my life, and he’s always been Grandpa George to my sisters and I.
Mom turns to Marco. “George is…how should I say this?”
“He’s old school and even though he was pretty good about me getting pregnant in college, that was a while ago, and I don’t know how he’d take something like this in his old age,” Aunt Claire explains. “Plus, I’m pretty sure he was the one who shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.”
Everyone nods silently in agreement.
“So, can everyone promise they will not tell George about the pregnancy until we absolutely have to?” Mom asks.
Everyone raises their hands and mumbles their agreement.
“Shocker honor!” Uncle Drew shouts, holding his hand in the air with his thumb holding down his ring finger, his pointer and middle fingers pressed together, and his pinky sticking out to the side.
“What the fuck is shocker honor?” Uncle Carter asks.
“I was never a Boy Scout, so it would be sacrilegious to say scout’s honor,” Uncle Drew explains. “Since I’m not only a member, but also the president of Shocker Nation, this makes more sense.”