Pushing up on my toes, I give him a quick kiss, pulling back to smile. “Thank you for coming to the rehearsal dinner tonight.”
His hand continues moving up my bare arm and over my shoulder, wrapping its warmth softly around my neck so he can slide his thumb back and forth over my cheek.
“Free booze and a five course meal? Like I’d say no to that!” He laughs. “Or a chance to see your sexy ass in a hot dress again.”
I let Ava dress me again for Gavin and Charlotte’s rehearsal dinner since the last time she did, Marco couldn’t keep his hands off me. Tonight, she stuffed me into a skin-tight red halter dress that I have to say, makes my boobs look amazing.
“Marco! Just the man I want to see,” Tyler yells from behind me as Marco keeps his hand in place on my neck and takes a sip of his drink with the other.
“You look like the type of guy that’s used Seduction and Sugar on a few women before. What’s your take on the Tiramisu and Titty Twister chapter?” Uncle Drew asks.
Marco’s drink goes down the wrong pipe and he immediately starts choking and coughing. I quickly move to his side to pat his back, giving my uncle a dirty look.
“Seriously, Uncle Drew? I think Marco has a bit more class than that.”
Marco starts coughing harder, and I take the drink from his hand as he bends at the waist and puts his hands on his knees. Uncle Drew and Tyler finally walk away, muttering something about how no one appreciates good porn anymore.
After a few minutes of rubbing my hand soothingly against Marco’s back, he finally stands up and takes a deep breath.
“I should have know those two would consider that stupid book their bible,” I laugh. “Are okay?”
Marco takes his drink glass from my hand and sets it on a nearby empty table, turning back to grab both of my hands.
“I need to tell you something,” he whispers.
“My family is full of idiots?” I ask with a laugh. “I’m aware.”
“I’m an idiot too. A really, really big idiot. I need to—”
Glancing over Marco’s shoulder, I see Charlotte finally alone, standing in the corner of the room on the other side of the restaurant and I hold my hand up distractedly.
“Sorry, can you hold that thought?” I ask, my eyes glued to Charlotte as she checks something on her phone. “Charlotte is finally alone and I need to talk to her really quick.”
Marco looks a little frustrated that I interrupted him, and I immediately feel bad. I thought he was going to tell me something stupid my dad and Uncle Carter said to him since he’d been busy talking to them over by the bar before he came over here, but maybe I was wrong.
“Never mind, I’ll talk to her later.”
He shakes his head and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. “No, it’s fine. It can wait. Does this have anything to do with the private little conversation I saw you and Gavin having a little bit ago?”
It has everything to do with that talk my soon-to-be brother-in-law had and if I’m lucky, we can finally be finished with this stupid charade once and for all.
“That it does,” I tell him with a smile. “Brace yourself, Marco. If all goes well, I should be un-knocked up by the third course.”
He quickly gets down on one knee, grabs my hips, and presses his lips to my stomach.
“What the hell are you doing?” I whisper loudly, looking around in embarrassment when a bunch of people start staring.
“If this whole thing is coming to an end, I feel like I should go out with a bang,” he explains. “Really put everything I’ve got into this role to make it memorable. Besides, I’ve gotten to know this little fake fetus the last few weeks. We’ve bonded. I’m going to be sad to see the little bugger go.”
I clutch onto the shoulders of his dress shirt and try pulling him up from the ground, but he’s not budging.
“No matter what you hear tonight, Cletus the Fetus, Daddy loves you,” he speaks softly to my stomach. “We’ve had some good times, we’ve had some bad times, and we’ve had some times where you’ve needed to cover your little fake fetus ears because your mommy is a screamer.”
I smack his arm, shooting a nervous smile to all the people watching us with sappy looks on their faces.
“Oh, my God, get up!” I whisper through my embarrassed smile.
“I know, Cletus the Fetus, Mommy confuses me too. Oh, my God is usually followed by ‘Go down!’ when she screams it,” Marco tells my stomach.
“If you don’t get up right now, I will tell everyone your soufflé couldn’t get it up,” I growl.
He quickly stands and gives me a shocked look. “You wouldn’t? It was ONE time and you said it happens to everyone!”
With a laugh, I grab his tie and yank him down to my lips, pressing my mouth to his. When the people standing closest to us start to clap and cheer, I pull my lips from his before I get too carried away.
“Save me a seat, I’ll be back in a few,” I tell him, smoothing his tie down before heading in Charlotte’s direction.
“I’ll miss you Cletus! Remember me fondly,” Marco calls after me.
I ignore him and charge through the crowd, standing quietly behind Charlotte while she’s still staring at something on her phone. I lean over her shoulder and immediately regret it when I see she’s watching some sort of horror movie, the screen filled with what looks like bloody roast beef falling out of a wound in someone’s body that has blood and guts and internal organs spilling out of it.
“What the fuck are you watching?”
Charlotte screams, dropping her phone as she whirls around to face me.
“Dammit, Molly! I thought you’d finally gotten tired of sneaking up on people. It’s like you get some sort of sick thrill out of making people scream,” Charlotte complains with a sigh, bending down to grab her phone.
“It’s true, I do. I keep your screams in a jar in my closet next to the severed heads,” I explain with a shrug. “Want to tell me why you’re watching the world’s most disgusting horror movie right before dinner?”
“It wasn’t a horror movie, it was a Youtube video of a live birth,” she tells me, setting her phone on the table next to her.
“That was a vagina?” I ask in shock. “I knew they were pretty resilient, but how the hell do they come back from something like that? It looked like it went through a meat grinder. Your vagina is going to look like a raw hamburger patty covered in ketchup and thrown at a wall.”
She glares at me, her hands on her hips and her foot tapping against the floor. “Thanks a lot. Like I’m not freaked out enough as it is.”
I pat her shoulder comfortingly. “Well, you’ll be happy to know I have one less thing for you to be worried about. I had a nice little chat with Gavin earlier. He wanted to apologize for being a dick and so angry when he walked in on us in the bathroom that day and also for avoiding me since then.”
Charlotte’s eyes widen in fear and her hands drop to her sides. “Did you tell him? What the fuck did you say to him?!”
“Calm the fuck down, burger vag,” I sigh. “I didn’t tell him anything, but you definitely will before this night is over. It turns out, Gavin wasn’t angry, he was jealous. Because he’s decided he wants kids and he’s afraid to tell you since you guys both agreed not to have them. So, now you can tell him tonight and not have anything at all to worry about tomorrow.”
I smile happily, waiting for her to tell me how amazing I am and how it’s all thanks to me that she can marry the love of her life without having any secrets between them.
“Are you insane?!” She screeches. “I can’t tell him now, at our rehearsal dinner! He’ll want to tell everyone and then mom and dad will know and it will start a huge argument and this perfect night will be ruined!”
“Did you even hear what I said?” I yell back. “Your fiancé wants kids. You can finally stop telling him you have the flu and that your ass isn’t the size of Texas now because of stress-eating. This is a good thing, dumbass!”