She had dark circles under her eyes and wavy untamed golden brown hair. She was well dressed in fitted jeans, flats, and a white blouse. After adjusting the strap of her purse on her shoulder, she fidgeted with her fingers. Looking down at her hands for a few moments, she finally looked up at me, but didn’t move any closer. At this point, Marcus was beside me. He must have sensed my distraction or uneasiness because his hand was pressed firmly against my lower back.
“Yes?” I asked.
Inhaling a deep breath, she took a step forward, still keeping her distance. “Are you Mia Sullivan?”
“Yes, how may I help you?” It occurred to me that she was probably seeking information for any vacant apartments.
Slowly she made her way over to me, playing with her fingers the entire time. When we were only a few feet away her eyes met mine, and she gasped. Lifting her hand to her mouth, her eyes began to water. “Oh my God, you’re beautiful.” She choked as tears dripped down her face.
Alarmed by her reaction, I turned to look at Marcus. Apparently he turned his head at the same time…we both stared at each other with the same awkward expression. I gave him a questioning look, wondering if he knew who she was or what she wanted, but he lightly shrugged in response.
Fixing my gaze back at her, I asked, “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
Closing her fingers into a tight fist against her lips, she lightly shook her head. She tightened her eyes closed then opened them again. They were the biggest, most beautiful green eyes I’d ever seen. The color was very similar to mine: a hue of emerald green. “I’m Sara Sullivan … I’m your mother.”
Taking in what she just said, my mind began to fog, everything closed in, my heart dropped, and my head felt light. Then her face turned into a blurry vision, and before I could speak, everything went black.
“Maybe you should go …” Marcus’ voice was distant and faded.
“I know … I just wanted to make sure she’s okay,” a woman’s voice responded. Shit! It wasn’t a dream. Flashing my eyes open, I looked around frantically. Marcus was instantly at my side, dabbing a warm damp cloth around my forehead and face.
“Baby, how you feeling? You fainted.”
Jerking up I looked around, and after a second glance around the room, I spotted her. She was sitting on the edge of the couch across from me. Pulling my legs off the couch, I scooted to the edge to get a better look at her. She was biting her thumb nail, her eyebrows were pulled in, and her knee was bouncing nervously. Cocking my head to the side, I examined her features: perfectly arched eyebrows, long, golden brown, wavy hair, heart-shaped face, small, round, button nose, and long lashes which accentuated her stunning green eyes.
Gasping for air, I raised my hand to my mouth in disbelief. I was unable to control my emotions; tears streamed down my face. I was the spitting image of her. All my life, I wondered who I looked like. My father had light brown eyes and sandy brown hair; my brother took after his features. In pictures we were a family, but it looked as if I didn’t belong. I’d never seen pictures of my mother. My father never described her to me or even mentioned her. All I knew was that she was the woman that ran out on our family.
“W-what are you …?” Unable to speak, I cleared my throat; it felt hoarse and raspy. “What are you doing here?” I asked with my fingers still spread along my lips.
Her legs stopped shaking. Lowering her head, she placed her hands to her lap, fidgeting with a gold ring around her index finger. After several seconds, her head slightly lifted, meeting my gaze. Biting down on her lip, tears began to swell her eyes. “I’ve been trying to find you for a couple months now … I wanted to see you, talk to you. I understand if you want nothing to do with me. I just want to explain everything to you, but if you don’t want to talk with me, that will be fine—well not fine, but I’d understand.” She had a high-pitched tone to her voice. She stood from her chair, and she grabbed the purse lying beside her seat.
“No, um, just give me a minute.” Not exactly sure what I was doing, it was the first thing that blurted out of my mouth. Nodding she sat back down. I quickly stood and rushed to the bathroom.
Once behind the closed door, I leaned against it. I exhaled deeply, staring at the ceiling trying to find answers. What does she want? Why is she even here? Oh God! I let out another deep breath. I managed to move my shaky legs to the sink. I rinsed my face a few times, and the cool water helped soothe my heated skin.
I looked in the mirror, not able to stop staring at my features. The reflection I saw was a younger version of the woman sitting on my couch, proclaiming to be my mother.
A soft knock on the door startled me, but I didn’t turn to see who it was. I could smell Marcus’ scent. His light footsteps made their way to me, and then I felt his strong, warm hand against the middle of my back.
“Mia, you don’t have to do this right now.” His voice screamed with concern.
Turning to face him, I buried my face into his chest. His strong arms wrapped around me, and I felt safe. “Marcus, what am I supposed to do? She’s here. She found me. I don’t know anything about that woman. What am I supposed to say to her?”
Marcus sank down to meet me at eye level. Cupping my face, he lightly turned my head, demanding that I look at him. Through my lashes, I managed to view him past my blurry tears. “You do not have to speak with her … if you want me to, I can ask her to leave a number, and you can contact her when you’re ready … is that something you want to do?”
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. It felt overwhelming. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would be standing before my mother: a woman who decided to leave her newborn daughter, ten-year-old son, and loving husband behind for reasons I never knew. I never asked questions growing up, well, maybe once. But after getting the runaround from my brother and father, I knew not to ask again.
I’d never felt anger towards her, yet at that moment I felt enraged. After twenty-four years she walks into my life now? After everything I’d been through, when I needed her the most, she wasn’t there, and now she stumbles in front of my door wanting to talk. Suddenly, I wanted answers, I wanted to know where she’d been, what she’d done with her life, the reason for leaving and most importantly, the reason she was back.
Chapter Twenty
Sucking my bottom lip, I inhaled, and I placed my hands on top of Marcus’. Gently I gave him the best “it’s okay” smile I could. Wiping my face to hide the evidence of my tears, I strolled out of the bathroom with my chin up, and my shoulders relaxed. Well at least I hoped they seemed relaxed. Marcus, of course, hurried behind me. When I entered the living room, she must’ve sensed my presence. She jumped to her feet with her purse clenched to her side and chewed her thumbnail nervously.