He ran his tongue along his bottom lip and removed his hand. Everything inside me turned to mush.
I had to be strong.
“Don’t act like all you feel for me is lust,” I said, pressing my palms against his hard stomach and pushing him away. “I saw you stand at the summit.”
His eyes hit mine again, jarring me with their sudden anger, and he moved forward, insistent on caging me in with his fists on the tabletop. “You want to talk about that night? The night you almost got yourself killed? What do you want me to say, Anna? Would you like to hear how it was the worst bloody night of my life?”
My eyes burned. All the things I’d carefully planned to say fled my mind.
“It doesn’t have to be like this—”
“Anna, don’t. Don’t do this.” In his eyes was a torment—an anguish I’d never seen before, followed by a resolute hardness. “If you want to finish what we started last summer, I can take you in the back room and get this out of our systems once and for all, but that is all I can offer you.”
I gave a small wail and shoved him away from me, practically panting with sheer frustration. A satisfied look crossed his face.
The store manager began walking our way. Kaidan held up a hand to show we were almost finished, and the man nodded.
Before he could talk again, I said, “If you don’t care anymore, just say it.”
“It doesn’t matter who bloody well does or doesn’t care,” he ground out. “They’ll never leave us alone. And even if they did, you and I are too different.”
“We’re not—”
“We are.”
“No,” I said. My voice was thick. “I . . . these past months . . . I’ve had to change.”
His demeanor softened around the edges. “You’ve been working?”
I nodded and took interest in my pretty, manicured nails, afraid to let him see the shame in my eyes. “So, we’re not as different as you think,” I said.
“Really?” I sensed his dry humor coming on. “Have you had a romp, yet?”
My eyes popped wide and I caught him flashing a partial sexy grin. Warmth crept up my neck.
“No,” I said.
His next words were filled with teasing menace. “You can turn seventeen, change your look, and be right bang tidy, but that doesn’t mean you’ve changed.”
What did he just call me?
Flustered, I blurted, “I’ve kissed lots of guys.”
Idiot. It was true, but still. What was I trying to prove? My “work” was nothing compared to what he and the others had to do.
At my admission Kai’s grin froze in place.
“Do you still pray every night?”
I paused then answered, “Yes.”
“If you want an equal,” he responded quietly, “go talk to Kope. If you want a shag”—he tapped his chest—“then I’m your man.”
A flash of darkness crossed his face.
I ignored the shag line, knowing he was attempting to deter me. “I don’t want Kope,” I whispered.
“Yet,” he whispered back.
Oh, Kai. Staring at him, seeing his turmoil, I wanted to feel his face, to take away his worries and pain.
“All you have to do is say the word, Kai, and I’m yours, in heart if nothing else.”
His head tilted down to me, eyes alight. “You’ll never be mine. Go live your life.”
I shut my eyes. I wished I could get inside his head and crawl through the passageways to the secret rooms until I found the one labeled with my name. How could I shatter that steel door and see what lay hidden inside?
Kaidan kept his gaze on the ceiling, but his voice was softer when he spoke, almost regretful. “It’s time for you to go. Spirits could show at any moment. And someone is picking me up soon. I’d rather you weren’t here.”
“Who?” I couldn’t help myself. “A girl?”
“No, not a girl.” He looked me straight in the eye when he answered. “A woman.”
My stomach turned and I felt young and stupid and inadequate.
“Please . . . ,” he said. “Just go.”
My whole face was hot now. The store owner kept glancing over, as if considering shooing me away.
Last chance.
I lay a hand on his forearm. His skin was hot, and the hard muscle jumped under my fingers. His red badge gave a great throb, as did my heart.
“Hang out with me tonight,” I said, knowing it was stupid and dangerous. “Come to my place. Patti would love to see you, too. I’ve only seen one whisperer in the past two weeks.”
For one gorgeous moment his face relaxed and he revealed something wistful, like a child. His gaze roamed my face. And just as quickly he barricaded himself back in his mind and huffed through his nose.
“I can’t,” he ground out, tugging his arm from under my touch. “Like I said, I have plans. You need to go.”
“Fine,” I said.
He gave me a single nod, my cue to leave. But still I stood there until the manager walked up and said, “Young lady, the store is closing now.”
I stared at Kaidan, but he wouldn’t look at me.
My feet were concrete blocks as I turned and stepped away.
“Little Ann,” he called.
I spun back, and my heart was crushed by the regret on his face. His arms were crossed.
“Don’t change too much.” With that he looked away, and the manager directed me to the exit.