And perfectly willing to let Shep be the one to come in my mouth for the first time.
He says my name again, deeper this time, his eyes sliding closed, his mouth falling open, the cords in his neck straining beneath his skin. I stare in fascination, my lips tightening around him just as I feel the first eruption of his semen on my tongue.
“Fuck,” he groans as he lifts his hips, his length going deeper inside my mouth. I don’t move, I just take it like he described in his dream, swallowing him down, shocked that I would even do this. That I’m actually…enjoying it.
But holy hell, it’s super-hot watching him lose all control, feeling him come inside my mouth, knowing that I’m the one who did that to him. For him. His entire body is tense, his expression one of agonized pleasure as he lifts his hips one last time. I finally pull away from him, letting go of his still very hard erection and I wipe at the corner of my mouth, draw my thumb and index finger along my lower lip, making sure I’m not a mess.
“Damn.” I glance up to catch Shep rest both hands over his face, his chest still moving rapidly, his mouth pursed as he blows out a harsh breath. He runs his hands up, over his eyes, into his hair and then he’s watching me, his face like a mask, his eyes full of…something I can’t quite figure out. “I should take you home.”
I nearly fall backwards at his words. Take me home? It’s not even that late. We have the entire night together since Tristan is gone. Why would he want to take me home?
I meet his gaze again, see the unfamiliar light in his eyes and realization dawns on me.
I think what I’m seeing might be regret, mixed with a major dose of guilt.
Great.
“I hate Shepard Prescott.”
Kelli rolls her eyes, sending me a look that says here we go again. “We’re back to that? Really?”
“Kelli.” I grab hold of her arm and glance around, making sure no one can hear us before I whisper, “I had his dick in my mouth. And the minute it was over, he took me home. Never to be heard from again.” It stings just saying it. Why do I keep reliving it? It’s like pure torture yet I can’t stop thinking about it. Thinking about him.
God, what a jerk. How could I be so stupid? The one time I actually want a dick in my mouth and I end up with a whole lot of dick all right. A dick who got off and then ran like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs.
“Maybe he got busy.” She shrugs, trying to look positive. When I continue to glare at her, she gives up the pretense, her shoulders slumping. “Fine. He’s an asshole. Just like you always said. You had good reason to throw up all those walls. The minute he got what he wanted, he bailed.”
Ouch. Hearing my predicament spelled out so simply is painful. But Kelli’s right. Shep is a total dick. He got what he wanted and left me without a backward glance.
It’s been a week since I last saw Shep—an entire week. No calls, no texts, no nothing. Not even a glimpse of him on campus. It’s late April, final exams are coming, I’m working on a final project for my communications class that’s keeping me extra busy and we’re down to the wire. School will be over in May. I’ll head home pretty soon after that and won’t return until classes resume in August.
Meaning I most likely won’t see Shep again, if ever, which should thrill me right? The asshole ditched me. Just like that. As if I don’t matter.
But it hurts, damn it. I’m confused. Was I that awful? Did I do it wrong? I followed his exact instructions and he seemed to enjoy himself. I mean, my God, I made him come in freaking minutes. I let him come in my mouth and I never do that. I really got into it, but he left me in the dust. Like I don’t even exist.
If I wasn’t so pissed off, I might’ve cried over this.
We’re at the cafeteria, eating salads for lunch while I lament over my Shep problem. Again. It’s all I’ve talked about since it happened. The BJ Experience. Why I name all of my moments with Shep, I don’t know but it sort of makes it fun.
Again, it’s either laugh or cry over this mess. Take your pick.
“I hate him,” I tell Kelli. “Seriously. If he were to come up to me at this very moment I’d probably knee him in the balls and tell him to go to hell.”
Kelli’s nods sympathetically, her gaze lifting to a spot above my head. Her eyes widen and I see her visibly swallow. “Uh oh,” she murmurs.
Panic sweeps up my chest, settles in my throat. Oh my God, what if it’s Shep? Yes, I want to knee him in the balls but I also want to…throw my arms around him and ask him where it all went wrong. Damn it that makes me want to punch myself in the face for even thinking that.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her, ducking my head so my hair falls in front of my face, like I’m trying to hide.
“You’ll never believe who’s headed this way.” I watch from beneath the veil of my hair as she sits up straighter, her smile bright. “Dane! Hi.”
Oh no. I can only assume who’s with Kelli’s boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend.
Joel.
I lift my head to find Dane and Joel standing by our table, Dane bending down so he can drop a kiss on Kelli’s upturned lips. Joel watches me, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, his expression hopeful. “Hey Jade,” he murmurs.
“Hi.” I try and give him a smile but it feels more like a twist of my lips so I let it fall. “How are you?”
“I’m good. Glad the semester’s almost over.” He rocks back on his heels, a habit he has when he’s nervous. So I make him nervous. Great. “I uh, I’m glad you’re here.”