During the wedding I kept thinking that I would love to do this more often, just as a hobby, but as the months went by, I found myself at bridal expos, and the next thing I knew, I was planning Kimberly and Christian’s wedding.
I kept my job at Vance in New York City because I needed the income. Hardin moved to New York with me, and I refused to let him pay all of my bills while I tried to figure out what the hell to do, because though I was so proud of my college degree, I just no longer wanted to work in the field. I will always love reading—books are forever tied to my soul—but I simply changed my mind. Just like that.
Hardin gave me endless crap about this, since I’d always been so sure about my career choice. But as the years went on and I grew up, I realized that I didn’t know who I was when I enrolled in WCU. How can people be expected to choose what they want to do for the rest of their life when they’re just beginning their life?
Landon already had his job lined up: fifth-grade teacher at a public school in Brooklyn. Hardin, a New York Times bestseller at the young age of twenty-five, had four books published, and me, well, I was still working on figuring out my own path, but I was fine with that. I didn’t feel rushed in the way I always had. I wanted to take my time and make sure every choice I made was set to make me happy. For the first time I was putting my happiness before anyone else’s, which felt great.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror. There were so many times in the past four years when I wasn’t sure if I would make it through college, and now here I was: a college graduate. Hardin clapped while my mother cried. They even sat together.
My mother walked into the bathroom and stood at my side. “I’m so proud of you, Tessa.”
She was wearing an evening gown; it wasn’t really suitable for a college graduation, but she wanted to dress to impress, as always. Her blond hair was curled and sprayed to perfection, and her nails were painted to match my graduation cap and gown. It was over the top, but she was proud and I didn’t want to take that away from her. She had groomed me to succeed in life and be everything she couldn’t, and now, as an adult, I understood that.
“Thank you,” I responded as she handed me her lip gloss. I gladly took it from her, despite the fact that I didn’t want or need to reapply any makeup, and she looked pleased when I didn’t fight her on it.
“Is Hardin still out there?” I asked. The gloss was sticky and too dark for my liking, but I smiled anyway.
“He’s entertaining David.” She smiled along with me, and my heart filled a little more. My mother’s fingers ran over the ends of her curls. “He invited him to that fundraiser he’s speaking at.”
“That will be nice.” Things weren’t as awkward between my mother and Hardin as they used to be. He would never be her favorite person, but over the past few years she gained a respect for him that I never would have believed was possible before.
I’ve gained a new respect for Hardin Scott, too. It’s painful to think back over the last four years of my life and remember the way he used to be. I wasn’t perfect either, but he held on to his past so tightly that he broke me in the process. He made mistakes—massive and devastating mistakes—but he paid his dues for them. He would never be the most patient, the most lovable and friendly man out there, but he was mine. Always had been.
Still, I had needed the distance from him after I moved to New York with Landon. We had been seeing each other “casually,” as casual as Hardin and I could be. He didn’t pressure me to move to Chicago, and I didn’t beg him to move to New York. It was about a year after Landon’s wedding that he finally moved, but we made it work by visiting one another when we could, Hardin more so than me. I was suspicious about his sudden “work trips” to the city, but I was always so happy when he came and wanted him to stay when he left.
Our apartment in Brooklyn was decent. Though he was making a lot of money, Hardin was willing to move into a place that I could help pay for. I worked at the restaurant between planning weddings and classes, and he only complained minimally.
We still weren’t married, which drove him insane. I kept going back and forth on the subject. Yes, I wanted to be his wife, but I was tired of having to label things. I didn’t need that label in the way that I grew up believing I did.
As if my mother was reading my mind, she leaned in and adjusted my necklace. “Have you set a date yet?” she asked for the third time that week. I loved when my mother, David, and his daughter came to visit, but she was driving me crazy with her new obsession: my wedding, or lack thereof.
“Mother,” I warned. I would put up with her grooming me, and I even let her pick out my jewelry this morning, but I wouldn’t entertain her when it came to this.
She raised her hands into the air and smiled. “Fine.”
Her defeat came easy, and I knew something was up when she kissed my cheek. I followed her out of the bathroom, and my irritation dissolved when I saw Hardin leaning against the wall. He was lifting his hair up and wrapping a band around the long strands. I loved his hair long. My mother scrunched her nose as Hardin pulled his hair into a bun, and I laughed immaturely at her disgust.
“I was just asking Tessa if you two had picked a date for a potential wedding yet,” my mother said as Hardin wrapped his arm around my waist and buried his face into my neck. I felt his breath against my neck as he chuckled.
“I wish I could tell you,” he said as he lifted his head. “But you know how stubborn she is.”