‘OK?’ I ask, folding the cloth and turning away from him to put it in its rightful place, thinking I should try an attempt at normal. I laugh at my stupid endeavour. I have no idea what normal is.
When I get no answer, I pivot slowly, biting my lip nervously.
‘Arrangements have been made.’ He means for his supposed date.
I nod, my fingers now rotating my ring nervously. ‘When?’
‘Tonight.’
‘Tonight!’ I blurt, shocked. That soon?
‘There’s an event at the Temple. I’m required to accompany her.’
‘Right.’ I gulp, then nod decisively. ‘What’s the time?’
‘Six.’
‘What time . . .’ I pull up and take a deep breath. ‘What time is your date?’ The words make me want to vomit.
‘Eight,’ he answers tightly, keeping cool blues on my fake brave face.
‘So we have two hours to get you ready.’
He frowns. ‘We?’
‘Yes. I’m going to help you.’ I’m going to bathe him, shave him, dress him, and kiss him goodbye, like a woman would who’s seeing her boyfriend off for work. Just a day in the office. That’s all.
‘Olivia, I—’
‘Don’t try to stop me, Miller,’ I warn, approaching him and taking his hand. He wants me to be strong. ‘We do this my way.’ I pull him over to the docking station and scroll through the tracks, looking for something a little upbeat. ‘Perfect,’ I declare, pressing play. Rihanna’s “Diamonds” joins us and I turn on a coy smile, delighted when I find a lovely smile gracing Miller’s face, too.
‘Perfect indeed.’
I start to lead the way to his bedroom, but I’m tugged to a stop.
‘Wait.’
Reluctantly, I halt when all I want to do is lose myself in the task of readying him.
‘Before we do things your way,’ he says, scooping me into his arms. ‘We do things my way.’ He’s moving before I can object, carrying me to his bedroom. I’m placed gently on the bed, like I’m the most delicate object in the universe, before his sits on the edge, one palm resting on the mattress so he can lean over me. ‘I need to have you once more.’
I press my lips together and work hard to hold on to my emotions. He means once more before he leaves to murder someone. The pad of his finger lightly settles on my bottom lip as he gazes down at me, and then he slowly walks his fingers over my chin, down my throat, and onto a breast. Every nerve ending ignites under his soft touch, my nipples tingling, begging for some attention. I’m not denied it. He keeps his eyes on me as he slowly drops his mouth to one breast, giving it a little flick of his tongue, before grazing the very tip with his teeth. My back bows and I fight to keep my arms at my sides. My other breast is claimed by his hand, his palm cupping it possessively, squeezing and moulding as he begins swirling his tongue around my other nipple. I shift on the bed, my legs twitching. I give in to their insistence to move and bring my knees up until the soles of my feet find the mattress.
He’s being super gentle, a total turnabout from our frantic fucking when I arrived. I sense there is more to it than just having me one more time. He wants to refuel on strength.
‘Nice?’ he asks, before filling his mouth with my breast, sucking gently.
‘Yes.’ I hum my pleasure, feeling the heaviness in my lower tummy intensifying. My arms take on a mind of their own and leave my side, my hands searching out the softness of his waves. He laps, licks, and sucks meticulously while my palms rest lightly on the back of his head, following his movements rather than pushing him farther into my chest.
‘You taste out of this world, Livy,’ he mumbles, kissing his way around my nipple and down to my midriff. I let my lids flutter closed in bliss and absorb every precious second of him feeling me, kissing me, worshipping me. His lips are everywhere on my torso, making me moan and writhe. The delicate bites of my flesh, his lips raining gentle kisses everywhere, it all provides the detachment I need from our imminent future.
I suck in air when his hand drifts close to the apex of my thighs, my tender, sensitive, wet flesh begging him to venture there. ‘Hmmmm.’ My head falls to the side, my hands now firming up on the back of his head in a silent hint. I want his mouth there.
He circles his thumb lightly over the top of my clit as he continues kissing my stomach. The friction makes me go rigid and hold my breath. ‘Always ready for me.’
I sigh, letting him work me up with his tender caresses. The ache in my groin is bubbling as my breath hitches, and I try my hardest not to moan, just so I can hear Miller’s pleasure-filled murmurs.
‘I want you to come like this first.’ His fingers slip into me and every greedy muscle clings on. ‘Then I’m going to make serious love to you.’
‘You always make serious love to me,’ I mumble, transferring my hands to my own hair and gripping hard at my scalp. My hips start thrusting up, matching his tempo.
‘And it’s the most gratifying feeling.’ His fingers flex within me. I gulp. ‘Your eyes smoking out as your pleasure builds. The tiny little pants of air as you try to control it.’ He circles, putting some weight behind his touch, making me shift up the bed. ‘Nothing can come close to watching you shatter beneath me, Olivia.’
I’m going to shatter now.
‘Are you nearly there?’ he asks softly, moving his face down and blowing a cool stream of air over my quivering centre. It propels me to the edge as I tighten my grip of my hair and clamp onto his fingers as he thrusts and slowly circles.