“I’m not taking your virginity,” I tell her. “You would regret it.”
I lean my forehead against the wall, but the pain in my gut is too powerful to stand. I turn and slide to the floor, elbows on my knees, face in my hands. My abdomen contracts in anger as I force myself to breathe.
I hope she understands. I hope she can forgive me and move on with her life, realizing how narrowly she escaped being ruined by the biggest bastard she’ll ever meet. I will take her to that convent and then we must go our separate ways. She and Patti can move to the middle of nowhere and she can attempt to live in peace. It’s good that we didn’t have sex—this way she’ll be able to forget about me, and she’ll be okay.
I look up at her, feeling a sliver of hope for her, and that’s when I see it.
She’s staring right at me, and floating around her body like a grand cotton-candy swirl is the pink of love. For half a second my heart rejoices—she loves me. And then I realize . . . I’ve ruined her anyhow.
I shut my eyes and lose all energy.
In a perfect world I would stand and take her in my arms. In a perfect world I would be her stupid boyfriend and make love to her all night without worry. In a perfect world I’d tell her the words I’ve been too afraid to admit to my own self.
As quickly as my heart swells, it seizes in terror. Anna doesn’t know the stories of Neph who fell in love and attempted secret relationships, only to be executed in horrific public displays as warnings to other Neph.
I will not allow that to happen to Anna.
I hear her moving about the room but cannot bear to open my eyes yet. When the phone rings I still don’t move, but I listen to her conversation.
Holy shite. The nun is dead.
CHAPTER TEN
One-Way Flight
“I’m the devil’s son straight out of hell, and you’re an angel with a haunted heart.
If you were smart you’d run and protect yourself, from a demon living in the dark.”
—“Save Yourself” by My Darkest Days
I’m not accustomed to hanging around once things get awkward. I know Anna expects me to say something, but I can’t. I take her to the convent to get whatever this nun has left her, and then take her back to the hotel room. We sit on her bed and I use my knife to open the box. I won’t lie, I’m dying of curiosity—but what we find inside takes me completely by surprise.
I stare down at the shimmering hilt. Every major pulse point in my body is pounding erratically. This cannot be what I think it is. . . .
“May I?” I ask.
“Go ahead.” She nods toward the mysterious sword hilt.
I pick it up with care, and it’s warm in my hands. The metal feels solid, but just under the surface it seems to swirl as if made of liquid.
Blood slams inside my ears and head. “I don’t believe it,” I whisper.
“What?” Anna asks. “What is it?”
Could it be a heavenly relic? I quickly drop it back into the box and close my hands into fists. Anna reaches for it, and the second her fingers touch it she gasps and yelps, yanking her hand away as if she’s been stung. This confirms everything I need to know.
“What is this thing?” She stares at it with distrust.
“It clearly wasn’t forged on earth. I think— But it’s impossible. A Sword of Righteousness?” Saying the words out loud sends a wave of cold over me. I’ve heard tales of these weapons, but I’ve never heard of one being on earth.
“What’s that?” she asks in awe.
“They were used by the angels in the war of the heavens.” Used by angels, feared by demons.
“But why is she giving it to me?” Anna asks.
Why, indeed? Was this nun truly human?
“Only the angels of light could use them. The old legends say the blade will appear when needed if the wielder is pure of heart. Anna . . . it’s the only known weapon that can take out a demon spirit.”
We stare at each other, and her eyes are wide when she asks again, “And why is she giving it to me?”
Isn’t it obvious? Anna is good and pure and full of innocence, like an angel. The Sword of Righteousness reacted to her touch. But in my sordid hands it was useless. There have always been major differences between us, but in this moment it’s as if stone barriers are erected around her.
OFF-LIMITS.
She is destined for something I cannot fathom. Something I could easily ruin if I stay near her. Today I had a freak moment of strength, but I can’t guarantee that will ever happen again. I need to get her to safety, away from me.
Her eyes have gone a bit foggy with shock.
“I need to clear my head,” I say absently as I grab my wallet and keys. I give Anna instructions to call Patti on the room phone, and I rush out.
My hands are shaking and my stomach churns when I climb into my vehicle and start the ignition. I drive two miles away and park in a shop’s lot. It only takes a few minutes to do a one-way-flight search. It’s already after dark, but I’m hoping I can get Anna on a late flight tonight.
No such luck. Damn it. I slam my palm on the steering wheel. I don’t want to chance another night with her, but I also feel ill at the thought of having her out of my sight. I book her for the earliest flight back to Atlanta in the morning, and then my gut twists as I make a more difficult call.
“Miss Patti?” I say when she answers. “It’s Kaidan Rowe—before you ask, everything is all right.” She lets out a huge breath. “Erm, have you spoken to Anna yet?”