Tasha hikes her leg, and I grab it, feeling the dress rise. Her hands are pulling out my shirt and finding their way to my bare back, where her nails dig in. My hand slides higher until it’s under her dress and she’s going wild.
My body works, but my mind is not in this hall. I go still at the sounds of familiar voices nearby. My head jerks around. No whisperers in sight, but I see the back of Ginger.
“What’s wrong?” slurs Tasha.
“I think I hear my cousin,” I whisper, still not moving.
She groans with disappointment.
Their voices are clear.
“Stop. That’s not fair,” says Anna.
“Fair,” snorts Gin. “You’re no better than the rest of us.”
“I never thought I was.”
My heart goes still. Of course Ginger would be a complete cow to Anna. I drop the girl’s leg.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, tucking in my shirt. “I’ve got to take care of something.” Oh no, I think Anna’s running to the loo to be sick. Tasha tips to the side and I right her. “Perhaps we should ring your mates, yeah?”
“Wait . . . you’re leaving?”
“I have to go.” I don’t feel too bad leaving her, since she’s staying in the hotel. I’m sure she’ll find her way. But just in case I pull her mobile from her small purse and put it directly in her hand. “Call your friends.”
She nods. Then hollers at my back, “Wait, what’s your number? We can hang out later!” But I don’t turn back.
In the hall I shove past Ginger and she shouts, “Hey! You can’t go in there.”
I turn on her. “Stop trying to police the lot of us!”
She glowers. “What the hell’s gotten into you, Kai?”
If she only knew.
I turn away and march straight into the ladies’ loo. “Anna?” I see her feet in a stall at the end. My heart is pounding and filled with worry at how she’s feeling after a night of whisperers on her back. “Ann?”
“I’m fine, Kai,” she says, but she doesn’t sound it. I need to see her. Help her.
I go to her stall and touch the handle. “You’re sick. Let me in.”
“No. I’m fine now.”
“Shall I send Marna, then?”
“No. I just want to be alone. Go away in case the spirits come back.”
I feel a burst of pride, followed by sadness, to hear the caution in her voice. She will forever be aware and more careful now. I didn’t want her to have to learn this way, but it is what it is. I’m certain she’s feeling shame and regret, but in my mind she did nothing wrong. It’s the life of a Neph. It’s all muddled and gray for us. Whether we enjoy it or not is neither here nor there.
“You did . . . well tonight.”
“Go,” she says. I think she might be on the verge of tears, and I want to demand that she let me in so I can hold her. “I want to be alone. Please just go away!”
The pain in her voice guts me. I lean my head against her stall door as sounds of the countdown to midnight ring through the hotel.
“Happy New Year,” I whisper, and I leave.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
New Year’s Day in the Big Apple
“The fragile, the broken, sit in circles and stay unspoken . . .
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.”
—“Hospital for Souls” by Bring Me The Horizon
At some point I will learn to stop feeling relieved. When one thorny situation passes, something worse inevitably rises in its place. Hours after Anna’s test has ended, an emergency summit is called in New York City.
Anna has failed her test. There’s no other explanation for the summit. Neph are not called to attend unless one of us is to be dealt with. I thought she did well, but apparently she let her true nature show at some point last night. Father sends his jet to get me, Blake, Kope, and the twins. I’m sick to my stomach. I can feel the others looking at me during the flight, but I can’t stand to meet their eyes and see the pity there. Or the mutual fear.
I can only assume Anna’s father will bring her to New York, or attempt to escape with her. But if they run, the demon lot will give chase, and they’ll be found. Either way, Anna is doomed.
I am twisted up inside like a rope in intricate, nonsensical knots, so full of anger and hatred I can scarcely hold it in. I don’t know how I’ll make it through this night. I don’t know how I’ll be able to watch what torture the Dukes have in store for Anna.
All day I’ve tried to put on my straight face and close off my heart to any feelings, but this is too big. I can’t numb myself. I can’t block it out. I don’t even know how she feels for me anymore, but it doesn’t matter. I know how I feel, and watching her suffer will kill me.
On the way to the hotel I stop at a spirits shop and use my fake ID to buy bourbon. I have to keep a tolerant buzz tonight in order to hide any possible bond that might show between me and Anna. Only the twins’ father, Astaroth, would have the ability to see it, but that would be enough to have the both of us killed. The five of us take a cab to the hotel and sit silently. Waiting. The tension in the room is like static electricity. I’m pouring bourbon into my flask when Kopano gets a call from Belial.
“Pick up Anna on your way to the summit. She’s in room 433. Same hotel as you.”
“Yes, Duke Belial,” he answers smoothly.