“It is not her time,” says the angel in front, nodding to Anna. “She will serve as a test to many souls.”
Not her time . . . I exhale in a rush. They really are here to save her.
Oho, Rahab is livid. A purple vein has taken prominence in his forehead. To see the Dukes crapping themselves might be the highlight of my life.
“Fine,” Rahab says with a deadly smile. “It is not her time now. But it is hers.”
The bastard raises his gun and shoots Gerlinda in the face. Anna shrieks as the girl tumbles back, dead. The angels rise up in unified indignation, and I lift a hand to block the brightness.
Chaos breaks loose as Rahab orders everyone out of the room. Neph push and shove to get to the exit. Where is Anna? As the angels retreat and the light fades, it’s turned into a damn near trampling spree.
I search for Anna, working my way through until I see her golden head. I call out to her, and she tries to press back into the crowd to get to me. I don’t know why it’s so important for me to touch her in that moment, but I need to feel her, to prove to myself she’s alive. We finally link hands near the exit, but Belial pulls us apart. He practically carries her out and shoves her into a cab, where she is whisked away. Anna and I watch each other through the back window until she’s out of sight. She’s safe. Adrenaline still charges through my body. I turn and walk briskly with the running crowd, getting as far from the Dukes as I can.
After an hour of wandering, I sit on a park bench in Manhattan and stare down at my shaking hands in the glow of a streetlight. I don’t know where the others have gone. I simply stare at my hands, in shock that there’s still blood of life pumping through them. My breaths are still hot against the cold air. My boots are still solid on the ground.
When you’re certain you’re going to die and then you live, it’s a strange sensation. But I don’t dare feel relief. I don’t dare feel anything. I don’t even startle when a hand comes down hard on my shoulder and I look up into the face of Belial. He jerks his head for me to follow him, and turns to leave without waiting. I shove my hands into my pockets and follow a few feet behind him.
I follow him into the underground, where we take the train to the end of the line in New Jersey. I follow him until we’re at a packed bar in Hoboken, clear of the Dukes in New York City. And then I sit in silence at the end of the bar as Belial orders five shots of Wild Turkey and throws them back one after the other, before sitting on the edge of the stool beside me.
He puts one giant hand on his thigh, and the other arm drapes along the bar beside me. He leans forward, boxing me in, and talks under his breath in a low, lethal tone.
“I saw you tonight. If any of the others had seen your little show, you’d be dead.”
My jaw is clenched. He must not appreciate my I-don’t-give-a-shit expression, because he points a hefty finger at my face.
“You listen to me right now, kid, and you listen good.” His eyes. He is beyond furious about what happened tonight. “You stay the hell away from my daughter. You understand me?”
I swallow hard, but my throat is still dry. “I was planning to, sir.”
“You’re no good for her.”
Stab.
“I agree, sir.”
He narrows his beady brown eyes as if searching for sarcasm. I am too numb to manage any sort of sarcasm or wit.
“You think you’re in love with her?”
I don’t answer this, and he plows forward.
“You think she loves you? That she’s meant for you? Wrong, lover boy. My girl’s meant for bigger things. She loves everybody and everything. You’re just a stray she’ll eventually forget about. Understand?”
Everything he’s said is true, but that doesn’t mean my insides aren’t ripped out. It doesn’t mean there’s not a part of me that somehow hoped I was wrong and that Belial might see whatever good thing Anna sees in me. But Belial sees the real me. The unworthy me.
My lips move, “Yes, sir,” but only dry sound comes out.
“You are not a safe option, not as a friend, and not as anything else. If Anna wants to pal around with Neph, it sure as hell’s not gonna be you. She can fall for that son of Alocer all day long, but I’ll be damned if I let the son of Pharzuph fuck with her heart.”
I grit my teeth. It feels as if a boa constrictor has encircled my chest. I give a tight nod.
“I know you thought you were cute tonight, playing Romeo like a God-damned fool, but the bullshit ends right now. If you ever endanger her again—if you dare to contact her or so much as look at her, I have friends who will make your death look like an accident. Am I clear?”
To see myself through his eyes—to be reminded so sharply and clearly of all the reasons I’m unworthy of Anna . . . it’s like a series of stinging slaps across the face. Belial’s eyes bore into me and his nostrils flare. I give him another nod, my neck stiff. He rubs his goatee down and pushes back from the bar.
Belial leaves me there in Hoboken, where I sit until they kick me out. I walk the streets in darkness, hoping to be finished off by drug dealers or gangs, but it turns out the bad guys are never around when you need them.
Perhaps I should pray for an angel of mercy to put me out of my misery. No, I will not pray again. I’m thankful Anna was saved, but having my own life spared feels like a fluke, and I dare not remind the Maker I’m still here. Still, I will make good on my end of the bargain.
I walk.