A relieved huff of air blew from his lips and he put his hands on his hips, hanging his head.
“I’d best be on my way,” he said.
“Wait.” I stepped forward, but I had no idea what to do or say. What happens now? Movies and books always made it seem so easy to open up and talk to someone you liked. But in real life it was so, so hard.
“Have you seen her again since that night?” Of all the questions I could have asked him, this was the one I didn’t even want to know the answer to. Why was I torturing myself? It was bad enough that I’d lie in bed every night imagining her sneaking through the portal and slipping into his room.
McKale’s forehead tightened at the question and he hesitantly met my eyes. “No.”
“You know you can’t have us both,” I whispered, feeling courageous.
I almost told him that he couldn’t have his cake and eat it too, but he probably wouldn’t understand the old adage. It was a stupid saying anyway.
McKale looked tense enough to bolt at any second, but I was all geared up now, so I kept going with nothing to lose.
“I need you to know, McKale, that I want this to work. I like you—”
“Robyn…” The tone of his voice was laced with layer upon layer of “I don’t believe you,” and it frustrated me.
“Why is that so hard to believe?”
He stared downward, running a hand over his face while I questioned him.
“When you were growing up, didn’t you ever wonder about me? About what I’d be like? Didn’t you ever get excited that it could be good?”
I knew he was way out of his comfort zone, but I didn’t care. He opened his mouth and paused a second before blurting, “Aye, Robyn, I wondered. And I assumed you would dread the arrangement as much as I. No female had ever shown interest in me until…”
I closed my eyes and held up my free palm like a stop sign. “Until her.” Familiar envy churned, but I forged ahead. “You might have been dreading our binding, but that doesn’t mean I was. Some day I’ll make you believe me. I’ll prove it to you.”
“You needn’t prove anything. Ye’ve already surpassed my every expectation.”
“Only because your expectations were so low.”
He winced.
The morning chores weren’t complete, however I needed to take advantage of this moment while I was feeling brave.
“Come with me,” I told him. Still clutching the basket of berries to my chest, I headed toward my hut with McKale following, silent.
“Wait right here,” I said when I got to my room and he nodded. “I’ll be right back.”
Cassidy sat up groggily in her bed.
“Whatcha doin’?” she asked.
I bent down to the bin, opening it and taking out the soccer ball. I felt a rush of excitement mixed with nerves. Cassidy’s eyes got huge and she perked up.
“You’re giving it to him?”
“Yep. Get dressed and come help me with the animals in a little bit. I’ll tell you everything.”
She fell back on the bed, kicking and punching the air. “Yes! Yes! Finally!”
I left the room smiling. When I saw McKale leaning against the wall of our hut it was my turn to feel shy and uncertain. He eyed the ball with curiosity as he came to stand in front of me.
“I guess you haven’t heard of the World Cup, have you?” He shook his head, so I briefly explained how it worked. As I held his interest and attention it hit me all at once how much I’d missed him. He crossed his arms and listened as I told him about the game we’d attended.
As he stared down at the ball in my hands, his arms uncrossed and fell to his sides. It was hard to breathe, I was so nervous. When he finally looked at me I had to grit my teeth against a wave of emotion. He wasn’t crying, but his eyes were definitely shining, and his face wore an emotion of awe and disbelief.
“It’s for you, McKale.” I held out my offering, just as he’d done. I was awarded with an adorably boyish grin.
“Truly?”
“Yes. It’s been yours for a long time. And if you accept it, I want you to use it. Have fun with it.”
He reached out and placed a hand on each side of the ball, but didn’t take it yet.
“I’m honored to accept this gift from ye, Robyn.” His eyes were bright and the walls around my heart were smashed to pieces.
“I’m honored that you will accept it.” I swallowed hard as he took the ball from me. “And maybe we can play together?”
“I’d like that very much,” he said.
“Have a good day at work,” I whispered.
I clasped my hands behind my back. He gave me a small bow and ambled away, absorbed in every detail of the ball. But when he got to the corner he stopped to glance back. I stood still, soaking in the look of him. That brief glimpse of gratitude spoke volumes to my heart. Come what may, I would not be avoiding him again.
IN THE HOURS BEFORE supper, I sat in a quiet corner of the open field to paint my nails. I leaned back against a tree at the edge of the forest, admiring my view of the village. It was interesting and sweet to see a few of the younger males helping the women folk do their chores, mostly the heavy lifting. They had flat carts, resembling wheelbarrows, which they used to move buckets of waste to a far area of the lands where they made compost.
Laughter sounded in the forest behind me. Rock chased Cass down the nearby path, and when he caught her, he pinned her to the tree and kissed her with a passion that surprised me. I had to look away and keep myself from yelling when he started getting handsy. I’d been so preoccupied with my own drama and emotional overload that I hadn’t taken time to ask what was up with those two.