I nod and sit beside her, turning the timer on my screen on so it’s at the max – we have ten minutes of light. ‘I also remember how I had a naughty dream about you where I was helping you down the rocks.’ I set the phone down beside my feet and try to get comfortable even though the ground is freezing my ass.
Her head snaps in my direction. ‘What? When?’
‘The night we first came here.’
‘But you were still dating Daisy then?’
‘It didn’t mean I wasn’t attracted to you,’ I tell her. ‘Trust me, I was. Way, way attracted to you.’
She presses her lips together as if she wants to say something, but is fighting it.
‘What’s on your mind?’ I brush my finger across the inside of her wrist.
Her shoulders rise and fall as she heavy-heartedly shrugs. ‘You know, I never got how you were attracted to me when you were dating her. I mean, I know you love me now, but it never made sense why you’d break up with her then want to date me right after. I mean, I know she was a bitch, but she was … well, she was really, really pretty.’ A thousand protests run through my mind, but before I can say anything she adds, ‘I’m not saying that so you’ll compliment me. I know you love me now. I was just telling you how I felt in the past, since this is a night about the past.’
It takes me a moment to find my voice, but only because I’m still shocked about the first thing she said. ‘First of all, let’s get something straight. All looks aside, you are a thousand times a better person than Daisy will ever be. The girl was more than a bitch. She was evil and self-centered. She never asked about my scars, never tried to get to know me in the way you did, when I felt completely and utter vulnerable, but in a way I needed to be. You saved me, Callie, not only from my father, but from myself and a life full of misery and self-loathing. And yeah, I know I still have a ways to go, but you still help me even now.’
‘Good, I’m glad. I love helping—’
I cover her mouth with my hand, silencing her. ‘I’m not done yet.’ I position my hands so her face is trapped between them, wishing it wasn’t so dark so I could see my favorite part about her – her eyes. They’re a mirror to her emotions and I love being able to see what she’s feeling whenever I look into them. ‘And second of all, you’re a million times more beautiful than Daisy will ever be.’ She starts to protest, but I talk over her. ‘And not just because you’re beautiful on the inside, which I know you’re about ready to say, but because you are ridiculously beautiful in a way that almost seems unreal sometimes.’
‘Kayden, I appreciate you saying that, but I know I’m not,’ she says. ‘I know what I am, though, which is average, and I’m okay with that.’
‘You’ll never be average, Callie.’ I wish she’d get the full extent of what I’m trying to say. ‘Daisy was like plastic, all fake nails and tanner, bleached hair, and fancy clothes – nothing about her was real. You’ – I bring her lips closer to mine – ‘you’re real. Everything from your freckles, to those beautiful, gorgeous eyes of yours, to those fucking perfect lips. You’re unconventionally beautiful, the kind of beautiful people can’t even understand because it’s not generic and created – it just is.’
She’s quiet for what feels like an eternity, the soft sound of her breathing filling the silence between us. ‘You’re turning into quite the master of words,’ she says softly. ‘You just put this writer to shame.’
My lips tug upward, but I’m not ready to smile just yet. ‘But you get what I’m saying, right? You understand how beautiful you are inside and out?’
She nods and I feel her cheeks move as she smiles. ‘But only if you understand just how much I need you and how much I deserve you.’
It takes a lot for me to say it, but I know I have to – know it’s right for the moment. ‘All right, it’s a deal,’ I say then lean in to kiss her, taking my time, savoring the feel of her lips.
I pull away about eight minutes later when the screen clicks off and darkness surrounds us. Picking it up, I reset it for another ten minutes then take the spray can out of my pocket. ‘So, what are you planning on putting on the rock this time?’ I ask, giving the can to her.
‘Hmmm ….’ She taps her finger against her lip then hands the can back to me. ‘I think you should be the one to do it.’
‘No way. You’re the writer.’
She gets to her feet and brushes the dirt and little bit of snow off her ass. ‘Nope. I’m giving you the honors tonight, since you’ve been on a roll with beautiful words.’ When I don’t get up right away, she offers her hand to me. ‘Come on, Kayden. After what you just said to me, this should be a piece of cake.’
I thread my fingers through hers and get to my feet, giving the can a little shake. Then I stare at the rock. And stare at the rock. And stare. And stare. And stare.
‘It’s like when I look at my computer screen sometimes.’ She playfully pokes me in the side. ‘Only instead of a cursor doing the tormenting it’s a can of paint.’
I lift the can to write something, but the pressure is getting to me. My mind is blank until suddenly I get an idea as I remember the night we came up here the first time. Callie had painted her own quote on the wall … that amazing quote.
Smiling, I press the nozzle and move my hand across the rock. She grabs the phone and aims it so I can see better, and so she can read what I’m writing. When I’m done, I stand back beside her and she reads it aloud.
‘In the existence of our lives, there are many coincidences that bring people together, but there’s only one person that will own your heart forever,’ she reads aloud and I swear she almost cries near the end.
‘Someone really smart once wrote that, I think,’ I say as I put the lid back on.
‘She didn’t say that exactly.’ She turns to face me. ‘And I like your version a lot better.’
‘Good.’ I take her hand and hold onto to it for a thousand different reasons – to touch her, to feel comforted, to keep on standing, living, breathing. It’s crazy how the night went from shitty to one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. It makes me realize how much I need her and how much I need to keep working on being the guy she deserves. ‘Because I mean it – all of it.’