Callie.
That list streams through my head for the entire trip and it keeps me intact and clearly shows what is important to me. By the time I make it to the apartment – to Callie – I’m an emotional wreck, but in a good way.
I don’t really get to talk to Callie very much for the rest of the day, though I’m desperate to. We spend most of the afternoon unloading the truck then take a break in the living room before heading out to get something to eat because everyone is ‘starving to death.’
‘You need some pictures on your wall,’ Jackson says, sitting down on the sofa and glancing around at our bare white walls. He takes off the beanie he’s wearing and tosses it aside. ‘It’d make this place look better.’
‘We’ll get there,’ Callie replies, plopping down on the barstool next to the one I’m sitting on. Luke and Violet are sprawled out on the floor, cheeks red and looking as exhausted as I feel. There are pieces of furniture and boxes everywhere, but it feels like we’ve made progress toward turning this place into a home. ‘I’m still working on getting some up.’
‘I don’t think we have any,’ I say, picking at the label on my water bottle. ‘At least not any of you and me.’
‘You don’t think I’ve taken pictures of you,’ she says, pressing her hand to her chest, feigning being offended.
I manage to peel the damp label off and set it on the counter. ‘You have some of me?’
‘Of us.’ She nudges me with her elbow and smiles. But when I don’t return it, she falters. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘It’s nothing.’ I shrug and say in a low voice so no one else can hear me, ‘It’s just, pictures on a wall? Is that what people do, because we sure as hell didn’t growing up.’ But I can’t help thinking of Dylan’s place and all the pictures they have up on the wall – a life, and a good one. Is that where I’m heading? Can I have that?
It’s crazy that I don’t have to say it, that she can actually see what I’m thinking. ‘It’ll make this place not just an apartment, but a home.’ She leans over and gives me a peck on the lips.
I’m about to pull her in for a deeper kiss, but Jackson clears his throat. ‘Okay, I say it’s time to get some grub.’
Callie sighs against my lips. ‘We’ll talk later.’
I nod and then we all head out and pile into Callie’s dad’s car which is roomier than my car and Luke’s truck. Luke still manages to turn up some classic rock that everyone pretends they don’t know but ends up belting out the lyrics. By the time we hit up a local, mellower bar in town, everyone is laughing, in a good mood, but too exhausted that it takes us forever to make it inside.
‘So much for partying like a rock star,’ Callie jokes to Jackson as we settle into a booth. There’s some alternative music playing in the background and some people dancing. ‘You must be so disappointed in me.’
Jackson reaches for a menu tucked between the salt shakers. ‘Nah, I’m kind of tired myself.’ He flips open the menu. ‘Must be getting old.’
‘You better watch it,’ she teases. ‘You’re one step away from sitting around in your sweat pants on weekends and yelling at the television when your team fumbles the ball.’
‘Hey, I do that sometimes,’ I intervene. ‘Well, minus the sweatpants.’ I flash her a flirty grin and wink. ‘I just do it naked.’
‘Glad to know what I have to look forward to,’ Callie says then winks back at me. It makes me laugh for the first time since I’ve gotten back from Virginia.
‘Good God, please don’t go there,’ Jackson mutters with all his attention on the menu. ‘I really don’t want to hear about what my sister and her boyfriend do behind closed doors.’
‘Sorry, man.’ I actually used to hate Jackson for the way he treated Callie and for bringing Caleb into her life. I still carry a little disdain for him, but Callie seems to have let it go, so I’m trying to be nice. But I want to talk to Callie openly without her brother listening, so I slide to get out of the booth, Luke giving me a begrudging huff of frustration when he has to get out of my way.
‘Where are you going?’ Callie asks as I stand up and stretch my arms above my head, constraining a grin when I notice her checking out the sliver of my stomach that peeks out from the bottom of my red shirt.
‘To dance.’ I nod my chin in the direction of the dance area. ‘Want to come?’
She shakes her head. ‘Nah, I kind of want to see you shaking your thing solo.’ When I start to frown, she laughs. ‘Of course I’ll join you, silly boy.’ She’s sitting between Violet and her brother, and motions for Violet to let her out.
Once she’s to her feet, she laces her fingers through mine and pulls me toward the dance floor where couples are grinding on each other. She’s wearing black skinny jeans tucked in lace-up boots along with a red shirt. Her hair is up and the only makeup she has on is some black liner. She’s probably the most dressed woman here and the most beautiful.
When we reach the center of the floor, I pull her to me and she rests her head on my chest as we start swaying to the beat of ‘Ho Hey’ by The Lumineers.
‘So why’d you really come home early?’ she asks so softly I can barely hear her over the music.
‘Because I wanted to make sure you were okay.’ I press my hand to her lower back, the other on her hips as I rest my chin on the top of her head.
‘But there’s more to it than that.’ It’s not a question, but a statement.
My initial reaction is to lie, but then I realize I don’t want to lie to her anymore, don’t want to be that guy. ‘Because I wasn’t handling things well.’
Her hands tighten around the back of my neck, pulling me closer to her. ‘Did you—’
‘No,’ I cut her off so she doesn’t have to ask. ‘I wanted to, though. Things were already hard when I learned about my father and about what happened with Caleb, but then it got worse when my mother called and wanted to talk to me.’
Her hold on me tightens. ‘Did you talk to her?’
‘No … I couldn’t.’
‘Good. I’m glad. You shouldn’t. Not until we know where she stands. And maybe not even then.’
‘I love you,’ I say because it’s all I can say at the moment. The way she’s always protecting me, it’s too much sometimes to even comprehend.