“Kicking me out won’t solve anything, will it?” he asked. “So what do we do?”
She shrugged. “Fuck?”
A smile tugged at the corner of his lips but he shook his head. “There’s nothing I’d like more. But that’s only a temporary solution. I care about you too much to let this go, Ren.” He met her gaze, blue eyes full of pain. “But you’re a hard woman to love. It’s like trying to hold sand in your hand. The tighter you squeeze, the faster it escapes. You fascinate and terrify me at the same time. The only thing I do know is that I’d like to be with you when this is all over so we can figure us out.”
Renna stared at the dark stubble that shadowed his jaw, the slump to his shoulders. What was she doing here with him? With these people? She was becoming someone she didn’t even recognize.
The only thing she’d ever been good at was running away. But if she stayed with Finn, she’d have to choose to move forward. She’d have to learn how to face her problems instead of pushing them away. She’d locked away her feelings for so long, pretended they didn’t affect her. Could she even change at this point?
Renna stared down at her hands. Was fighting for Finn worth it? Or was fighting Samil the only thing she should focus on right now?
Her pulse thudded sluggishly in her ears. Maybe they were the same thing. Maybe by choosing to move forward with Finn, she was fighting for herself and her future. Choosing to take back her power from Samil.
There were no guarantees in life; she knew that all too well. She and Finn might never make it, but if she didn’t try, if she didn’t give their relationship a chance, she’d regret it for the rest of her life. She couldn’t let fear win.
If Renna ran from this like she always had, that’s exactly what would happen.
She met Finn’s gaze, fingers twisting in the hem of her sweater. The words felt like marbles in her mouth, like she could barely speak around them, but somehow she got them out. “I want to be with you, too. I want to figure out what’s between us.”
Finn’s face softened with his smile.
Renna continued before he could interrupt. “But you have to trust me, Finn. I would never cheat on you or betray you. I never have, and I’ve had plenty of opportunities. We’re in this together—at least until we decide we’re not.”
There. She’d said it. And the world hadn’t come crashing down around her. She smoothed the front of her shirt where she’d twisted it into tiny hills.
“Do you forgive me?” he asked hopefully.
Renna nodded. “We’re both new to this relationship business. We’re going to make mistakes, but we have to talk about them, okay?
“Promise.”
“Promise.” Renna met Finn’s gaze across the room, and the atmosphere in the cabin went from tense to something else in a matter of seconds. She’d never been in a relationship long enough to have make-up sex, but she’d heard fantastic things about it.
Finn’s eyes darkened, and they threw themselves at each other at the same moment, bodies crashing together as their lips made contact like heat-seeking missiles, an explosive fusion of skin and scent and passion. Finn pushed her back against the door, pressing his body to hers, covering her completely. Their tongues warred and caressed each other, and she tasted him—citrus and sandalwood.
She had the instant thought that this was what home must feel like, but it was gone a moment later, pushed away by the feel of his muscles beneath her fingers. Finn jerked her tightly against him, the pressure of his mouth, his tongue, sending shivers down her spine as he deepened their kiss.
Renna’s hands drifted up to tangle in the hair at the base of his neck. She never wanted to let go, but Finn broke away, gasping for breath. Their gazes met, and he smiled slightly.
She shoved a strand of hair behind her ear and tried to normalize her breathing. “So, Captain. What are you doing for the next few hours?”
“Hopefully you?”
“Smart man. I plan on taking up most of your schedule. Good thing I’ve had a birth control implant since I was thirteen.”
“A very good thing.” With a wolfish grin, he scooped her up and carried her to the bed. Renna settled between his arms as he lowered both of them to the mattress. Finn’s eyes searched hers and something twisted inside her, taking up residence in her heart, filling it with what felt suspiciously like love. She wanted to look away, to break the connection between them. It was too much, too raw. But she didn’t. Especially after the conversation they’d just had. If she was falling in love with this man, she wanted to be with him for real, for however long she had.
With a low growl, Finn captured her lips with his again, his tongue dipping into her mouth, teasing her with what was to come. His arms caged her, supporting his weight above her, and Renna slid her hands beneath his shirt, feeling the smoothness of his skin, the ridges of muscles, the faint scars left from his past life.
Her hands drifted higher, grazing his ni**les, and he sucked in a breath. Renna grinned against his lips and did it again, before yanking his shirt up and over his head.
Finn grabbed the hem of her shirt, and she struggled to free herself as his tongue traced patterns across her abdomen. He stared down at her br**sts, still bare after her shower, then lowered his mouth to one of her ni**les.
A burst of heat flared through her as he worshiped her with his mouth. Renna arched her back, whimpering as pleasure wound tighter and tighter in her midsection. He flicked her nipple with his tongue, and she gasped as heat shot through her in a blaze that left her breathless.
“I love that sound,” he said, raising his head to meet her half-lidded gaze. “Should we see if I can make you repeat it?”
She could only nod as he moved to her other breast. A moan escaped her again as the wave of pleasure started to build, and she buried her hands in his hair to hold him close to her.
His hardness pressed against her, and Renna let her hands drift down his hard abs until she found the waistband of his trousers. Slowly she unzipped them, sliding her hands beneath the fabric to touch him. He was hard as steel and soft as velvet, and all she wanted was to feel him inside her.
“I want you,” she whispered.
Finn responded instantly, going even harder than she’d thought possible. In seconds he’d stripped off his pants and pulled hers off as well. They tangled back together like magnets, skin to skin.
Renna kissed him deeply. As if she could make him feel how much she cared for him without saying the words. Her hands slid down his body until she found his cock, hard and ready for her.