He took a few steps backward, peering away from me while rubbing the back of his neck. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t flaunt any of your lovers in front of me.” He cracked his neck. “I’m thinking that might bother me.” He cracked his neck the other way. “I’ll do the same for you.”
My gaze fell to my lap as I twisted my fingers around each other. “I’m not plan—”
“Don’t, Lily,” he cut me off. “We both know the truth of each other.”
Oddly, the silence was heavier than it had been before. But I nodded jerkily. “If I have sex with anyone, I won’t make a display of it.” It was about respect now.
“Thank you,” he stated gruffly. He walked toward the door. “I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah.” I watched him disappear out of our bedroom. The door shut quietly. “Later.”
Chapter Eleven
As I walked to the dining hall — alone — many watched me. It reminded me of the time Ezra and I had made this trek over three weeks ago. That time, they had stared and waited for us to yell at one another, but this time, their gazes held only sympathy — the gossip had made its rounds — as they watched to see if I would break down in front of them. But I didn’t. I was stronger than that now, my three days of sobbing done. I needed to re-enter life in some way — my previous loss of my mate and, before him, my mother, had taught me that the faster I was able to get back into the swing of things, the quicker my life would turn around by force of mundane issues.
After placing on my tray a few items of my favorite foods in the hope I would be able to eat them all, I peered around the lunchtime crowd for a free seat. By habit, my gaze automatically went to where Ezra, Pearl, Jack, and I had been sitting regularly, which also happened to be the table Ezra and I had taken three weeks ago, but it was filled with Shifters I didn’t recognize.
But the large table next to it wasn’t.
All the Kings sat there, along with Antonio and his group. They weren’t staring at me blatantly, but their looks weren’t very covert. Oddly, and for the first time in my life, I actually wanted to sit at their table in the hope they may leave me in peace, compared to another table, which would be full of my subjects who might try to start a conversation. So I made my way through the crowded tables and took one of the remaining empty seats next to Elder Merrick at the end of the table. And again I did something I had never done before. I leaned my forehead against a powerful alpha Shifter’s shoulder, deeply scenting his animal — he had shifted recently — and pulling some strength from him, as many others did to me when they were troubled.
The table was quiet as he rested his arm around my shoulder, holding still so I could take what I needed from him. My body shuddered as I stuffed my face against his neck, scenting him heavily, and I felt a pulse of his power flow into me. A soothing gesture. Voice quiet, I whispered, “Thank you.” He briefly rested his head on top of mine, turning to lay a light kiss on my forehead, before I lifted away, feeling better.
Staring down at my food, the contents of my plate really didn’t appear appetizing, but I stabbed into my macaroni expecting it would go down easier than the small steak or the green beans. I slowly chewed the tiny bite as soft conversation started around the table. I had planned right. They weren’t going to bother me as my soon-to-be subjects might have. It gave me the perfect opportunity to look directly across the table.
At Antonio.
Slowly, his golden gaze lifted from his plate. To most, Antonio probably appeared no different than normal. His hair was perfectly kept, his dark clothing no different to what he normally wore, but to anyone with an experienced eye, the simple facts were there. His hair hung just a bit more over his face to hide his unsmiling mouth and lowered eyes. His muscles under his clothing were strung tight, straining those perfect clothes. And I had figured out something during my self-confinement.
He had known beforehand. He had known I was pregnant. He hadn’t stopped me from sparring with Elder Merrick. He had known I would lose my babies. That was why he had appeared as he had before the match.
I didn’t understand his ‘gift’ completely. Nor did I understand him. But there was one thing I had to know. After holding his gaze, which was empty of any emotion, I whispered, “Why?”
Lips that were already pinched thinned further. The other occupants at the table quieted, their eyes never far from me right now, even though they pretended otherwise. Antonio blinked, and when his gaze met mine again, it held sorrow and guilt and, maybe, hope. “Because I must.”
Truth.
I snorted sarcastically, pissed off, and peered back to my plate. I lifted the knife, twirling it in my fingers and watching golden sparks of light catch on the fairly sharp blade as it rotated faster through my fingers. My gaze flicked to him. “You’re lucky I love you.” My eyes went back to the blade. “Because of that, I didn’t tell him what I know.”
My gaze returned to him while everyone around the table went still. “You would be a few days dead right now if I hadn’t protected your worthless ass.” My anger was red-hot, but I kept it leashed. Barely. I stopped twirling the blade, pointing it at him. “I probably won’t ever understand you, Antonio, but what I do know is that you f**king owe me.”
No one moved around us as Antonio and I held each other’s gaze.
Jerkily, he nodded once, his eyes lowering. “I’m sorry, Lil.”
I snorted, my own gaze falling to my own plate, and stabbed into my macaroni again. “Not f**king good enough.” I shook my head, chomping into my grub. “Not anywhere close.”
“Honey, I’m not sure what the hell this is about, and I realize you’re going through a tragedy right now, but you can’t threaten an Elder,” King Kincaid murmured quietly into the silence. A pause, then, “At least, not in public, anyway.”
My grin was feral as I peeked up at him down the table. “I didn’t.”
King Fergus slowly wiped his mouth with a napkin and set it down carefully. “She’s correct. She stated she saved his worthless ass.”
I stared. The man hardly ever stated something in my defense. Eyebrows puckered, I gave him a nod of appreciation and went back to my meal, everyone else slowly following suit, seeing the fireworks were over.
Halfway through choking down my steak, I scented Ezra. Breathing deeply, I also scented Jack. I kept eating.