“Of course,” Aria said quickly.
“Everything’s great,” Ali answered. “Right, Aria?”
Aria flinched. She shot Ali a desperate, please-don’t-say-anything look back. Hanna shifted, looking conflicted. Emily and Spencer stopped, too, peering curiously at them from next to the raspberry bushes.
“And everything is great with you, right, Hanna?” Ali asked. “Well, except for Sean.”
Hanna twisted her mouth. The others looked at her curiously. “Hanna caught her new BFF, Josie, making out with Sean at my party the other night,” Ali explained.
The girls gasped. “Oh, Hanna, that’s awful!” Emily cried, placing a hand on Hanna’s shoulder.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Aria asked.
Hanna shrugged. “It seemed stupid to talk about it. Sean’s not for me, anyway. I’m over it.”
Ali heard herself snicker. “That’s for sure, Han. You definitely have your own way of getting things out of your system.”
Hanna’s head snapped up. The look on her face was one of both horror and betrayal. What are you doing? her expression said. Ali didn’t meet her gaze. She’d meant it when she’d promised Hanna she wouldn’t tell about the bingeing. But that was then. Dancing around it now felt almost fun. Her heartbreak was way worse than Hanna’s. And Ali wasn’t moronic enough to think bingeing was the way to deal with it.
They’d reached the pool area by then. Spencer plopped down on one of the chaise lounges and crossed her legs. The other girls sat, too, though they all seemed shaken. Aria stared blankly at the water. Hanna nervously plunged her hand into the bowl of popcorn on the table. Ali, on the other hand, felt a vaguely nuclear glow inside her. Her nastiness felt like a runaway train she couldn’t stop if she tried. But she didn’t exactly want to. Every time her friends squirmed, she felt like it restored just a teensy bit of her life source.
Emily picked up a People magazine and opened it randomly to a page. Ali glanced at the spread. On the left-hand side was a picture of a bronzed, bikini-clad girl advertising beer.
Ali nudged her. “I wonder if she likes tree houses.”
The magazine fell from Emily’s hands, and the look on her face was that of a trapped, tortured animal. Emily opened her mouth, but no sound came out.
Hanna leaned forward. “What does that mean?”
Ali smiled and laid her hands in her lap. “Oh, just an inside joke between me and Em. It’s a funny one, too, right, Em?”
Emily just blinked, not saying yes or no. Ali tried hard not to stare at her pink lips or think about the way the kiss had felt. She also tried to ignore the little wiggle of remorse she felt inside.
The other girls stared at Emily, then Ali. All of them looked like they wanted to say something, but it seemed like none of them knew what.
Then, as if on cue, the screen door slid open, and Melissa Hastings, dressed in a green string-bikini top and a printed sarong, stuck her head out. “Oh,” she said sullenly when she saw the girls. “I didn’t know the patio was being used.”
“Hi, Melissa!” Ali said emphatically, jumping to her feet. “How are you?”
Melissa paused and examined Ali, her lips twitching. “I’m fine.”
Ali tapped Spencer’s arm. “I think Spencer has something to tell you—a big surprise. What do you say, Spence?”
Spencer’s mouth dropped open. She shook her head fast. “No, I don’t.”
Melissa placed her hands on her hips. “What is it, Spence?”
“Nothing.”
Melissa turned back to Ali, but Ali just gave Melissa a closed-mouth smile. It’s not my story to tell, her look said. Finally, Melissa sighed and turned back into the house. The sliding door swished closed.
Spencer whirled around and glared at Ali. “What are you doing?”
“What are you doing?” Ali shot back.
Aria blinked. “What is going on with everyone?”
Ali glanced at her. “I don’t know, Aria. What is going on?”
There was another painful silence. The birds tweeted obliviously in the trees. Then Spencer looked at her phone. “I have to go, okay? I just realized.” She stood up and strode into the house without even saying good-bye.
The other girls watched the sliding door, perhaps thinking Spencer was going to come back. When she didn’t, Aria stood up. “That reminds me, I need to get going.”
“Me, too,” Hanna said quickly.
Emily gave Ali a long, conflicted look, then stood as well. They peeled away and mounted their bikes or headed toward the woods. Ali let out a long, contented sigh. It had been a good idea to come out here after all. In fact, she felt so much stronger—there was no need to go back to bed anymore.
And best of all, she hadn’t thought of Nick once.
28
DEAR ALI, BE MINE
After school the following day, Ali leaned toward the front window of Cassie’s Jeep as Cassie made a screeching turn into her neighborhood. Her neighbor on the corner was out on his riding mower, making perfect stripes on the lawn. The little kids across the street were playing basketball at the lowered hoop. And at Mona Vanderwaal’s house, Mona, Phi, and Chassey were strutting up and down the driveway in some sort of ugly-girl fashion show. Ali wrinkled her nose.
As Cassie rolled toward Ali’s house, she turned to her and smiled. “I’m glad you took me up on the ride today. Was your brother busy?”
Ali shrugged. “Jason and I aren’t exactly speaking right now.”
Cassie’s lip curled into a smile. “Want me to run interference?”