“It’s not just a piece of paper. I want to stand up in front of her and God, and all our friends and make promises to her. I want her to be mine.
Not as my girlfriend, but as my wife. I want what Richard and Grace had, but some days I wonder if that’s ever going to happen.”
Julia shyly put her arm around Aaron’s shoulder and gave him a sideways, one-armed hug. “It’s going to happen. Don’t give up. Once Richard is out of the house and settled in his new life, Rachel will see that it’s okay for all of you to be happy again. Being in this house without Grace is hurting everyone. It’s so empty here without her.”
Aaron nodded and tipped back the rest of his beer. “Scott decided to play a slow song. Rachel will be wanting a dance. Excuse me.” He disappeared into the living room, leaving Julia alone with her perfect Corona and her imperfect thoughts.
Meanwhile, Richard and his eldest son sat outside enjoying Gabriel’s gifts — Cuban cigars that he’d smuggled from Canada and a bottle of Richard’s favorite Scotch, The Glenrothes.
“Grace would never have allowed this in the house,” Richard mused, blowing smoke rings toward the inky velvet of the November sky.
“I’m sure no one would mind now.”
Richard smiled at his son sadly. “But I would. For her. Thank you, by the way. These are probably the best I’ve ever had.”
“You’re welcome.”
They clinked glasses and wished one another cheers, falling silent to gaze out at the woods behind the house and up at the delicate strands of stars above.
“Julia looks well. Do you see much of her?”
Gabriel casually flicked the ash from his cigar into the ashtray between them. “She’s in my class.”
“She’s all grown up. She seems more confident.” Richard drew thoughtfully on his cigar. “Your university must agree with her.”
Gabriel shrugged.
“Grace loved her.” Richard watched his son’s face fail to register any reaction. “Now that I’m moving, we’re going to have to have a family meeting about the furniture and — other things. I know it’s going to be uncomfortable, but I think it would be better to have that conversation now rather than waiting until Christmas. You will be home for Christmas, won’t you?”
“Yes, I just don’t know when. As for the furniture, Rachel and Scott can have everything.”
Richard’s lips pulled together. “You’re part of this family too. Isn’t there something you’d like? What about the armoire that Grace inherited from her grandmother? It’s always been in your room. Wouldn’t you like that?”
Gabriel studied his father for a moment. “I assumed you’d be taking all of Grace’s things.”
“It’s just not possible. There are a few things I can’t part with. But as for everything else…” He sighed. “Truthfully, this is the most important thing to me.” He held up his hand and showed Gabriel his wedding ring.
Gabriel was surprised he was still wearing it, but only for an instant.
Something told him that Richard would be wearing it for the rest of his life.
“Grace wanted her jewelry divided up. Rachel went through it yesterday.
There are a couple of things sitting on the dressing table in our room for you.”
“What about Rachel?”
“She’s happy with what Grace wanted her to have, and the same goes for Scott. In fact, they want Julia to have something, if you don’t object.”
Gabriel rubbed his eyes. “No, I don’t object. What did they have in mind?”
“Grace had two sets of pearls. One of them I gave to her, but one of them came from her parents or she bought them herself when she was a student. I’m not sure. Those are the ones that Rachel would like to give to Julia.”
“That’s fine.”
“Good. Before you leave, just be sure to talk to Rachel about the rest of it. You’ll want to take them with you.”
Gabriel nodded uncomfortably, focusing his attention on his cigar.
“Grace loved you. She didn’t believe in favorites, you know. But you were — special. She believed God brought you to her. She just wanted you to be happy.”
Gabriel nodded. “I know that.”
“Actually, she wanted you to find a nice girl and settle down, have children, and then be happy.” Richard smiled.
“That isn’t going to happen, Richard.”
“You don’t know that.” He reached out an affectionate hand and lightly gripped his son’s forearm. “Grace never gave up. Don’t you give up, either.
If I know anything about Grace, it’s that she still loves you, and no doubt she’s lighting candles and praying for you, even now. She’s just a little closer to the source.”
For a moment their eyes met. For a moment, both sapphire and gray were damp with tears.
Pray for me, Grace. How am I ever going to live without you? thought Richard.
The two men blew smoke rings across the porch, silently savoring their Scotch and their memories. But saying nothing more.
When everyone finally decided it was time for bed, they ascended the staircase almost two by two, like animals lumbering to Noah’s ark.
Gabriel held Julia back slightly so that they were the last to go up.
When everyone had disappeared into his or her respective chambers, he stood outside her bedroom door, gazing down at her with a somewhat hungry look on his face. Julia felt nervous all of a sudden and became fascinated by her feet.
He reached down with one hand and popped the top button of her blouse open, sliding his hand across her neck. “I’m sorry about this.” He touched the mark he’d made earlier.
Julia kept her eyes down.
“Julianne, look at me.” He coaxed her chin upward with a single finger, gazing at her with troubled eyes. “I didn’t mean to mark you. I know you don’t belong to me, but if you were mine, I would find a better way of showing it to the world than by turning your beautiful skin red or purple.”
Her eyes grew teary. Of course she was his. She had been his since she took his hand long ago and followed him into the woods.
“Wait here a moment.” He disappeared into his bedroom, returning with a familiar-looking British-racing-green cashmere sweater. “This is for you.” He handed it to her.
She accepted the sweater but gave him a puzzled look.
“I was worried that you wouldn’t be warm enough. I thought maybe you could wear this to the woods.”
“Thank you. But won’t you need it?”
He smiled knowingly. “I have others. And it pleases me to think that something of mine will be so close to you. If I had my way, you’d wear it all weekend.” He straightened his shoulders and took a step closer. “Perhaps this is a more humane way of marking you.”
Gabriel’s eyes shone in the dim light of the hallway. He took another step forward, as if he were about to draw her into an embrace, when Scott came lumbering out of his room, shirtless and wearing only a pair of boxer shorts. His boxer shorts had smiley faces on them.
At the sight of him, but before he could say something, Gabriel abruptly stuck his hand out. “Good night, Julia,” he said stiffly, shaking her hand.
Scott snorted loudly and scratched his ass as he walked toward the bathroom. As soon as the bathroom door closed, Gabriel pulled Julia into his arms and kissed her firmly on the lips.
“I’ll come to get you in an hour. Dress warmly and wear comfortable shoes.” He eyed her high-heeled boots with a sigh. It pained him to bid them adieu, but he knew that it was necessary.
“Good night, my — ” He stopped abruptly before disappearing into his bedroom, leaving Julia standing alone.
She wondered what he had not said. She wondered if she should tell him that she was his.
Julia went into her room and changed into warmer clothes, wrapping herself in the scent that was Gabriel and his cozy cashmere sweater, which enveloped her like a lover’s embrace.
Chapter 26
When the house was shrouded in darkness and it seemed that everyone else was fast asleep, Gabriel and Julia stood staring at one another in the kitchen.
“I’m not sure you’re dressed warmly enough. It’s chilly out there.” He gestured to her coat.
“Not as cold as Toronto,” she laughed.
“I won’t keep you outside for long. Look what I found.” Gabriel held up a long, wide scarf made of thick white and black stripes. He wrapped it around her neck, expertly looping it at the front. “This is from my old college at Oxford.”
Julia smiled. “I like it.”
“It suits you. I found something else too.” Gabriel held up an old blanket that looked oddly familiar.
Julia reached out her hand to trace the edge of it. “Is that the one?”
“I think so. But it won’t be warm enough, so I brought two more.” He took her hand and led her out to the porch.
It was colder now and dark, but somehow it seemed as if no time had passed since Julia took Gabriel’s hand and followed him into the woods. She inhaled sharply at the memory, and as they crossed the backyard in the inky darkness, she felt her heart beginning to pound in her chest.
Gabriel squeezed her hand. “What’s wrong?”