His stance was strong, one that dared anyone to defy him. But there was a softness behind his deep voice that made my better judgment melt. I wanted to listen, to speak, to just be in his presence. Getting this close to Adam again was a suicide mission, but I had to. For no other reason than I was addicted. Maybe if I heard the words come from his own lips—if he just told me that he’d used me and didn’t want me anymore—than I could completely let this go.
I walked to the passenger side of his car and he opened the door for me. We drove in silence to his high-rise apartment, which was in the middle of downtown and not far away. I don’t remember much of the elevator ride, but I did see that he hit the top floor button and had a key to the elevator. When the doors opened, it delivered us straight into his penthouse.
Everything was modern. Immaculate, but sterile. Not an ounce of warmth—only function and high-end décor that he’d obviously paid someone else to impose. It now made sense why Adam had called my little shoebox of a home “cozy.”
He put his hand on the small of my back and led me to the kitchen. The entire floor plan was open and spacious, and the massive living room windows overlooked the water. I sat down at the breakfast nook. He placed a glass in front of me and remained standing.
I palmed my forehead and looked up at Adam. “What is this?”
“Water.”
“I know that. I mean this.” I motioned between our bodies. “Do you really get off on toying with people?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Then say something, Adam. Anything.”
“You misled me, Katelyn. You should have told me you were innocent.”
“What would it have changed?”
“Everything!” He ran his hand through his hair and took two steps to the side before facing me again. “The way I handled you in my office—was that a first, too?”
“Yes, it was. And I’m an adult and can do what I want. Just because I was a virgin doesn’t mean it puts some kind of responsibility on you.”
“The hell it doesn’t.” Why was he mad? I thought the whole losing-your-virginity thing was important only to girls. All that mattered to me was Adam, and why he’d treated me the way he had, then left.
“I didn’t want you to be with me because you felt guilty or obligated.”
“Those two things are the furthest from what I feel for you.” His eyes bored into mine. “Are you on birth control?”
“Why does that matter? You wore a condom.”
He nodded. “Yes, but I want to know for future encounters.”
“Wait, what?” Was the alcohol making me hallucinate? I was certain I hadn’t heard him right. “Adam, I haven’t talked to you in days. You disappeared the last time we…” I didn’t know what word to use. Fucked? Made love? Instead, I just waved my hand in his general direction and went with, “The last time we were together. Now you’re thinking about the future? Assuming I’d even give you that chance?”
“You will. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”
My ire was rising. “You didn’t give me much of a choice.”
“You always have a choice, Katelyn.” He leaned forward and put his palms on the table behind me, caging me in. “Are you on birth control?”
Yes, I was. I had been since the age of thirteen because my periods got so bad. “Yes. But that doesn’t protect against everything.”
“I have documentation I can show you that I am clean and healthy,” he stated.
I shook my head. “Look, this is a moot point. I came here because I wanted to know why you went out of your way to pursue me if you only intended to retreat immediately. But I realize now that it doesn’t matter.” I swallowed hard and gathered my courage. “This is too much, and I’m done.”
He loomed over me like a predator. “You weren’t honest with me and I admit that I handled it poorly, but you need to be aware that we are not finished.”
“Funny, because disappearing for days would have led me to believe otherwise.”
“I was going to come see you tomorrow.”
“Oh, well then, I guess all this is solved.”
“Don’t be sarcastic.”
“Don’t tell me what to do!”
He moved his hands to grab the edge of the table, pushing himself further into me. I was eye level with his hard torso. The black cotton that lined it stretched over the hard ridges of muscle. I wanted to reach out and touch him. Scratch him. Bite him.
“I thought you liked it when I commanded you.” His voice was rough.
I tried to huff out a breath, but he was too close and his amazing scent was clouding my lungs. He was right, I did like it. I liked how he made me feel. Safe and desired—powerful and submissive all at the same time. He brought out contradicting emotions. High and low. Confused and restless. Manic and depressive.
No. That wouldn’t be me. That would never be me.
“I see you, Katelyn. You run from yourself.”
I couldn’t hold back my hurt any longer. “Is that why you f**ked me, then ran?”
“What happened between us was a lot more than f**king.” His breath fanned over my forehead. “And yes, I ran. Because I didn’t know what the hell you had done to me.”
“I did to you?” I looked up at him with all the anger I felt. He was the one who affected me!
“You don’t make sense to me, Katelyn. I’ve spent the last four days trying to figure out how you could be innocent, yet dark. Sexy and maternal. One moment you’re ripping my shirt, the next you’re timid.”
“Exactly. Crazy emotions. You bring them out and that can’t happen.” I shook my head. “We’re done.”
“Oh, we’re nowhere near done. Whatever the hell it is that spooks you, I’ll find out. Then I’ll eliminate it.”
“I’m not giving you one more thing to manipulate me with.”
“Manipulate you?”
“This isn’t just about sex, Adam. That stunt you pulled with my face. What was that?”
“I found it interesting that you trusted me to touch you where you didn’t let others even come close.”
Fury bubbled over. “Interesting? Messing with someone like that is interesting?”
I shot to my feet. He moved just in time before I took out his face with the top of my head.
“I wasn’t messing with you, Katelyn.”