I dipped the toe of my boot into the water and nudged a thick ice piece floating by.
Dad took his own life a few months ago, after the trial was over. It was a hell of a thing to do to your loved ones. It was a hell of a thing to do to his sister, Caroline. And to me, after I spent most of my time living with him after the divorce. Didn’t he know how much we cared about him? Didn’t he know how broken we’d be when he committed suicide?
I folded up the note and put it back into my pocket. When I patted my jacket for my phone to check the time, I remembered I’d left it back in my room. I should probably head back.
A soft gurgling drew my attention to the water beneath the bridge and I looked down. I almost didn’t see it at first, but then I spotted it. There was a large goldfish making slow circles under the water.
“Hey fishy. What are you doing? Aren’t you freezing in there?”
The fish glugged a few bubbles to the surface and I took it as a yes. It was slow but looked alive in the bitter coldness of the water. I envied that feeling of being alive. My ass was numb and I was numb on the inside. I wanted to feel something. Anything. Just to know that I was still here.
I tucked my legs beneath me and leaned over the side of the bridge, dipping my fingers into the water. A frigid chill spiked up my arm invigorating me.
I could still feel something.
I leaned further over the side of the bridge so that I could reach deeper into the water. My wiggling fingers must’ve looked like dinner because the fish approached and started nibbling at me. The icy bite of the water made me alert and awake, clearing the numb fuzz that I thought had settled permanently on my mind. I pushed up the sleeve of my jacket with my other hand, before leaning further, to plunge my arm deeper. The edge of my sleeve was getting wet but I didn’t care. The cold had a cleansing quality, even as the tips of my fingers were starting to lose their feeling.
I thought about leaning further, but it was already the furthest I could go without losing my balance. If I fell in the freezing water, I might die—there was certainly no one around to help me. I might have been numb but I wasn’t stupid.
Something felt odd around my shoe.
I twisted my head and saw a black, furry creature tearing viciously at my shoelaces.
“Hey!” I yelled.
The cat screeched and jumped three feet in the air, scaring the shit out of me. I wanted to pull my hand out of the water, but it was too late. I flailed for a split second, trying to grab onto the stone I’d used earlier to save myself, but this time I missed.
I tipped forward, losing all balance.
Then I was underwater.
Chapter Two
SWIMMING
I panicked when my head went beneath the surface and I opened my mouth to scream. In an instant, my lungs inhaled a mixture of water and algae, making me choke and sputter. The cold soaked through my heavy winter clothes immediately, piercing me to my core. I struggled to surface but my jacket was suddenly ten times heavier. I felt myself sinking.
A dreadful thought tore through my mind.
This is it. It’s all over.
I was going to drown. I was going to die. Aunt Caroline was going to think I ended up taking the same path as Dad. Killing myself. She had lost her sister-in-law, then her brother, and now her niece.
But I didn’t choose this! I didn’t want this. It was an accident caused by a stupid cat.
And then a silly thought flashed.
I can’t die like this, in a lake full of piss-eating algae. The embarrassment would be too much.
Fighting against the weight of my clothes, I furiously kicked my legs, forcing myself upward. My head bumped into a hard ceiling—a large piece of ice had floated above me. I reached out with half-frozen fingers, desperately trying to find where the ice ended. Or a hole. Anything.
I felt nothing. Everything was solid. I flailed my arms in a frenzy, frightened because I couldn’t hold my breath much longer. Suddenly, my hand burst through to the surface and I felt the cold air against my fingertips. Frantically thrashing my legs, I torpedoed my body toward the hole. Finally, I broke through to the crisp air.
I never thought I could feel so much relief in my life. I panted for air, sucking it in like it was my last breath. I had made it. I had survived. I had a near-death experience and was going to appreciate life so much more after this moment. I silently thanked the powers-that-be for a second chance.
I wiped the water from my eyes and my relief turned into despair.
The bridge was nowhere in sight.
As I violently roiled the water around me, I tried looking for the shore but I couldn’t find it. Where the hell was it? My teeth chattered violently and my limbs were turning into frozen icebergs, numbness overtaking my muscles. Suddenly, a sharp sting knifed through my stomach, and I clutched my abs in pain. Perfect time for a cramp! Unable to move, for a brief instant I was left with the thought of sending a letter to Kellogg’s telling them the Frosted Flakes I ate this morning turned out to be the death of me. Then my legs gave out. I stopped treading water. I stopped floating and started sinking.
I was going to die.
“What the f**k?!” someone shouted.
“Help!” I screamed instinctively with the last of my breath. “HEL—” My head submerged beneath the freezing surface.
Water blurred my vision, making me lose my orientation. Distantly, I heard a splash then I felt something grasp my shoulders. I struggled against it thinking it was going to push me further into the depths.
Someone was shouting at the surface but the voice was faint beneath the water. “Stop fighting me dammit! Or we’ll both die out here!”
Strong arms wrapped beneath my armpits raised me above the water.
I tried to tilt my head to see who the voice was coming from, but a wet mass of my own hair covered my face. Powerful arms and legs stroked the water around us propelling us toward the side of the lake.
Before long, we collapsed onto the bank.
“What the hell were you thinking?” cried a deep male voice, breathless.
On hands and knees, I tried to respond but ended up coughing water onto the gravel. My clothes were completely drenched and my muscles were coiling into tight balls. It was actually colder now that we were out of the lake.
God this was so embarrassing. I could see it on the campus paper now: Sophomore goes for a swim in Lake Peepee in the middle of winter.
My savior took several deep breaths before dragging himself to sit on a large rock beside me.
When I had finished coughing, I brushed the hair out of my face and looked up at him. He had short, dark hair matted with water and a sharp, sculpted nose set between two dark grey eyes. His brows were furrowed in concern. His strong jaw was covered in a rough layer of stubble that framed his full, shapely lips. He was so gorgeous, my breath hitched in my throat. Had I died and gone to heaven?