He closed his eyes and drew several long breaths. "I nearly told you that night outside your house, you know. Nobody besides my closest friends know about Liv, but even then, part of me felt compelled to explain it to you." He brought his eyes up to meet mine, seizing my free hand in his. "There are lots of things I want to share with you, but sharing isn't easy for me. You deserve someone who can give you everything, and I'm afraid if we go any further, I'm going to disappoint you."
For the short period I'd known him, Sebastian had always been a mystery to me. It was like watching a magician perform. I knew there was a trick there somewhere, but I was too dazzled to spot it. But in that moment, I felt like I finally understood him just a little. Behind all those walls, behind that radiant charm and those perfect features, lay a scared and lonely man. I hated seeing him like that, but at the same time, his candour filled me with hope. I knew how much of a gift he'd given me.
"One step at a time, hey?" I said. "I don't need to know all of your deepest, darkest secrets right away. All I need to know is that this is real, because if we go any further and I find out that it's not, I think it will break me."
He studied me for several seconds, a small smile managing to puncture through his otherwise grim expression. "This is the realest thing I know, Sophia."
And then before I could even finish processing what he'd said, he was kissing me. This time I didn't try to stop him. I couldn't. I was certain if anything were going to break that moment, the very planet would have to collapse off its axis. In that kiss, I saw a vision of everything I'd ever wanted. And it was wonderful.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
It's amazing the difference one night can make. Weeks' worth of tension and uncertainty, all dissipated with a single conversation. I woke with my body pressed against his, feeling more content than I had in a long time. The smile on his face when he opened his eyes said that he felt the same.
After a leisurely love making session that involved several creative uses for a dressing gown tie, we headed for the kitchen to squeeze in a quick breakfast before work. Now that we'd acknowledged our feelings, it was more difficult than ever to say goodbye. I really just wanted to spend the whole day together, but that was the peril of a relationship between two dedicated professionals. Time was a limited commodity.
Thankfully we had phones. I used to mock those couples who seemed to require constant contact. I had a friend at university who spent every day glued to her phone, eagerly waiting for the next inevitable text from her boyfriend. It wasn't like they were long distance or anything. She'd see him every night after class. I never understood why she couldn't just wait a few hours to say what she had to say. But now I finally got it. There was something comforting about those little connections. It wasn't so much the words themselves as what they symbolised; that someone out there was thinking of you. And Sebastian and I made sure to let each other know that as often as possible.
Two days later, I woke up to find a message from him.
Sebastian: You're coming out with me tonight.
I couldn't help but smile. No request. Just an order.
Sophia: And what if I have plans?
Sebastian: I won't be stood up for a stack of subpoenas and a glass of red.
Sophia: Haha. You know me too well. Fine. Where should I meet you?
Sebastian: I'll come to you. I want it to be a surprise. Be home and ready by 6.30. And wear comfortable shoes.
Of course. Why tell me what we were doing when he could just keep it shrouded in mystery instead? I had to hand it to him, he knew how to keep a girl guessing. The comfortable shoes tidbit was interesting. It seemed to imply that we'd be walking somewhere, but I'd long since learned that his hints could rarely be taken at face value.
As usual, my excitement made the day go by at a crawl. This would be our first full night together with everything laid out on the table. For the first time, I could be completely unashamed of the way he made me feel. That was a truly glorious prospect.
When five thirty rolled around, there was still a mountain of work needing to be done. The Wrights case had everyone with their noses to the grindstone. In times past, I'd blown off dates under such circumstances, but the thought didn't even enter my head tonight. I tidied up what I could, sent a few quick apologetic emails, and headed home. Little Bell had been my top priority for six long years; it could spare me the odd night here and there.
Sebastian was perfectly on time as usual. As I stepped out of the front door, he cast his eyes over me and made a little throaty sound. "You're a sight for sore eyes."
I grinned. "We saw each other two days ago."
"And every minute of those was agony," he replied with a dramatic flourish. He did a double take when he spotted my shoes. "The princess is wearing her slippers out again I see."
I'd wondered if he'd notice they were the same pair from that first night. In my experience, men didn't pay much attention to shoes, but Sebastian didn't seem to miss anything. "Well, after the prince so graciously returned them to her, she figured she should make good use of them. Besides, they're the most comfortable shoes she owns."
"Fair enough."
I curled my hands through his hair and pulled his mouth towards mine. God, I'd missed him. In that moment, I was certain I would have been quite happy just standing on my front step with our lips locked together for the rest of the night.
As if reading my thoughts, he pulled away. "Easy now. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. There will be plenty of time for that."
I made a show of pouting, but let him lead me to the car anyway.
The trip was longer than I'd expected. Rather than dropping us somewhere in the city, Joe continued to drive out over the Harbour Bridge.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked, more than a little curious by now.
But he merely smiled. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise."
Once we crossed the Spit Bridge, I had a better idea, and my suspicions were proven right when we pulled up outside the Manly boardwalk. Manly is one of the suburbs that sprawls along the north side of Sydney Harbour. It's a lovely area; a dynamic mix of beach culture and nightlife. I'd had several messy nights there in my youth, although not for a few years. Old age had made me cynical and territorial, and I tended to stick closer to home now.
"Ah, so another waterfront meal is it?" I asked, feigning disinterest.
He gazed down at me in amusement. "Would it be a problem if it was?"
"Oh, I guess not," I said, trying to hide my smile. "You may want to consider some new material, that's all."