To be honest, I didn’t want him holding my hand, because the feeling that overtook me when he touched me was overwhelming and frightening. I gave him a small smile and lightly squeezed his hand.
“What about your parents?” he asked hesitantly.
“I never knew my dad because I was conceived during a one-night stand. See, I was doomed from the start.”
“Don’t say that, Rory.”
“My mom died when I was ten years old of pneumonia. We didn’t have any money to pay the doctor, so she just didn’t go and she died,” I said as the tears swelled in my eyes. “My aunt took me and my brother in after the state took us away. She refused at first, but when she found out that she would get paid for taking care of us, she changed her mind. We lived in a two-bedroom house and my brother and I had to share a room. My aunt was a drug addict and she used the money the state sent her for drugs. The house was filthy and falling apart. I tried to clean it every week, but it didn’t matter; she would just mess it up as fast as I cleaned it. She brought a different guy home every night. She’d have sex with them and they’d pay her either in cash or drugs. She didn’t pay attention to us. She told my brother and I that we were only there for a place to stay and that she wasn’t playing mommy, but we weren’t allowed to tell anyone that. We weren’t allowed to talk about our home life.”
Ian squeezed my hand and looked down. “My God, Rory.”
“We weren’t allowed to have friends because they would see how we lived and my aunt couldn’t risk it. I engrossed myself in my studies and tried to learn everything I could about the world, so one day, I could get out of that shithole.”
“Who hurt you, Rory?” Ian asked.
I closed my eyes and freed my hand from his. “My brother, Stephen. You know what, I’m really tired, and I think I’m just going to go back to my room,” I said as I got up and left Ian sitting in the sand as I walked back to the house.
I lay myself down on the bed as the tears fell down my face. Living that life was one thing, but having to tell someone was far worse. I was ashamed and embarrassed, but I survived and became strong because of it. I was finally out and there was no way I was going back, ever. I fell asleep for a while and, when I woke up, the beautiful morning was gone and the afternoon had brought in dark clouds and rain. I got up from the bed and stepped into the shower. I sat on my knees on the shower floor and brought my head down so I could wash my hair. Once I was finished, I got dressed and walked downstairs. As I made my way to the kitchen, Charles was in there cooking. I noticed a young man sitting at the table. I instantly had a flashback of that night.
“Good day, Miss Rory,” Charles said as he stood over the stove, stirring something.
“Hello, Charles.” I smiled.
“Rory, I’m Joshua.” He smiled as he held out his hand.
I walked over to the table and shook his hand. “You’re the one I ran into on the street.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Thank you for helping me,” I said.
“No problem.” He smiled. “I would’ve come up to see you, but I just got back from having a few days off.”
“Miss Rory, please sit down and let me make you a sandwich,” Charles said.
“Thank you, Charles, I’d like that. Do you know where Ian is?” I asked.
“I think he’s in his study. Go through the living room and it’s on your left,” Joshua answered.
“Thanks, Joshua.”
I walked out of the kitchen and found Ian’s study. He was sitting behind a large cherry wood desk, typing on his computer. As I entered, he looked up at me.
“You’re awake,” he said as he looked back at this computer.
“My brother, Stephen, is a schizophrenic, and I brought him to L.A. to visit a doctor who was doing a trial study with an experimental drug.”
His eyes looked away from his computer and straight at me. “Go on,” he said.
“In order for him to be in the trial, he had to stop taking his meds one month prior to his appointment. We were in the motel room and I asked him if he could turn the TV on while I went and took a shower. He’d been irritable the whole way to L.A., and I knew it was only a matter of time before he snapped. I was just hoping that he’d been in the trial study before he did. Anyway, he told me that the voices in his head wouldn’t let him turn the TV on. So I walked over and turned it on myself. He pushed me out of the way and turned it off. I told him to knock it off and to go lie down and get some rest. He started screaming at me and told me to stop telling him what to do. He said the voices were yelling at him to make me stop. I turned my back on him and, before I knew it, I felt the knife plunging into me.”
I started to shake as I relived that night. Ian jumped up from his chair and grabbed me before I could fall. He wrapped his arms around me and held me as we slowly dropped to the ground.
“You’re safe now,” he said as he held my head against his chest. “He’s never going to hurt you again.”
As soon as I snapped back into reality, I lifted my head and looked at Ian. The only thing I could see were his perfectly shaped lips that I wanted to kiss. “I’m sorry,” I said as I nervously got up off the floor and out of his arms.
“Don’t be sorry, Rory. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
I took in a deep breath. “Charles is making me a sandwich. I should go and see if it’s ready.”
Ian smiled. “Tell Charles to me make me one too, and I’ll join you shortly.”
I walked out of his study, embarrassed once again. As I walked into the kitchen, Charles had my sandwich made and sitting on the table. “Thank you, Charles. Ian asked if you’d make him one as well.”
“You’re welcome, Miss Rory.” He smiled.
“Please, just call me Rory.”
****
A few days had passed and every day I was feeling stronger. I spent most of my days sitting on the beach or by Ian’s pool. Ian spent his days at the office, and I still didn’t know what he did. He didn’t offer any information and I didn’t ask. When he’d come home, he’d shower, change his clothes, and go out on his nightly dates. More often than not, he’d bring the women back here, but they were always gone in the morning. The strange thing was the way he looked at me every time he left for the night. It was almost as if he was apologizing. Thoughts of him burned through me every second of every day.