The shame she expected to feel? Strangely absent.
Maybe for the first time she understood why her husband liked to fight. It was cleansing.
She’d almost made it to the parking lot when hands landed on her hips and pushed her into the shadow of the building, then spun her around.
Carson wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, holding her in place. The fierceness in his eyes…wow. Been a long time since he’d looked at her that way.
“That was the most magnificent thing I’ve ever seen. Except for the two times you brought our sons into the world.”
“I’m mad at you, Carson McKay. So don’t you dare try and charm your way out of this mess.”
“I’m not. I’m tellin’ it like I saw it, sugar. You were spectacular. Spectacular. Callin’ me on my shit. Not backin’ down from me or anyone else. Reminding me of why I fell in love with you.”
“Maybe you ought to remind me why I fell in love with you,” she challenged. “Because a man who claims to love his wife doesn’t avoid coming home.”
“I know.”
“What is going on with you?”
“Besides the obvious that I’ve been drinkin’ too much?” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I’ve been a lousy husband and a shitty father.” He inhaled. Exhaled. “Fuck. It’s like stabbing myself in the heart even sayin’ that to you because you are such a damn good wife and mother. You are the most important thing in my world. And if I lose you…”
Carolyn watched his chin wobble as he fought to retain control. Her gut clenched and her heart hurt to see this strong man start to crumble. But she let him struggle.
“Truth is, my life is over if I’m dumb enough to lose you. So I ain’t gonna let that happen. Ever. I f**ked up but I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this. Whatever it takes.” He stared into her eyes. “Say you’ll give me another chance.”
“Then you need to come clean. During all the time you’ve spent away from home and at the bar, did you step out on me?” Her breath remained trapped in her lungs as she waited his answer.
“No. Fuck no. I’d never do that to you. Or to us.”
“So Edie…?”
“I swear I had no idea what she was doin’. Last night she and two of her friends sat at the booth in the back room while they were playing pool. When her friends left she was sitting next to me and she didn’t move. By then I was pretty deep in the bottle. Doubt I spoke more than a dozen words to her. So what she said about cryin’ on my shoulder was complete bullshit.”
“That doesn’t explain tonight.”
His eyes brimmed with anguish. “She told me she was worried her ex would show up and asked if she could sit with me for a bit. That happened when Charlie was drinkin’ with me. Then he took off with her friend.”
“And Charlie didn’t think anything of leaving his drunken brother alone with a recent divorcée?”
“Charlie knows I worship you. He knows even if Edie had been nekkid I wouldn’t have touched her.”
Men were so stupid sometimes. “You know that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have tried to touch you.”
He blinked as if that hadn’t occurred to him. “I see that now and I’m really sorry I didn’t see it before.”
“Do you have any idea know how horrible it is to get a phone call from a friend who’s seen you out with another woman?” Her tone turned bitter. “Then I get here and find out it’s Edie? That made it worse. You know the crap she’s said to me over the years. So is this one of those times you tell me you don’t give a damn what anyone around here says or thinks about you?”
“No.” He brought his eyes in line with hers. “No. I give a damn because this hurt you. I hurt you. I have to live with that. I have to prove that it’ll never happen again.”
“There’s an easy way to prove it.”
“How?”
“As of right now your going to the bar days are over, Carson McKay. Not just the Silver Spur but every other bar in the vicinity and the entire state of Wyoming.”
He said, “Done,” without a moment’s hesitation.
“You want to drink? You’ll drink at home. You want to go out? You’ll go out with me. Those are my stipulations for us moving on from this.”
“That won’t be a problem. I want to be the man you deserve.” Carson framed her face in his callused hands. “I love you, Carolyn. You are it for me. You have been since the moment I met you. There ain’t a woman alive that can give me what you do.”
“What’s that?”
“Passion that has marked my heart and soul as yours, and yours alone.”
This brusque man wasn’t big on professing his feelings beyond telling her he loved her. So when he said things off the cuff and from a place of truth? She cherished every word.
Then his mouth was on hers. His hunger, his driving need didn’t surprise her; it inflamed her.
She shoved her hands into his hair, knocking his hat to the ground. Carson didn’t pause in the ferocious kisses; if anything, he kissed her harder. Pushing her backward until her spine connected with the building.
“There’s another way you can prove it,” she panted against his throat. “Fuck me. Right here, right now.”
“But, Caro, if anyone comes out here—”
She grabbed his chin in her hand, forcing him to meet her gaze. “They’ll see you f**king me—your wife, not some two-bit bar whore. And I don’t give a damn who knows that you wanted me—your wife, so desperately that you f**ked me right outside the front door.”
“Good God, do you have any idea how f**king much I love you?”
“Show me.”
After he thoroughly ravished her with intense kisses that left her breathless, his mouth skated down her neck. His razor-stubbled cheeks scraped her skin, which he soothed with sucking kisses. “Fuck, woman. Never get enough of you,” he panted. “I’ll be an old man of a hundred and five and I’ll still want this—need this—from you.”
She moaned when he zeroed in on the section of her neck that nearly sent her into orgasm. “More.”
He sucked harder, letting his teeth and tongue come into play while his fingers found the first button on her blouse. He yanked and the snaps gave way, exposing her torso to her belly button. Then he placed his hand over her heart and she went weak-kneed. She spiraled even deeper under his spell when his fingers slipped beneath her bra and started plucking her nipple.