A minute or two later, right about the same time Cheever slipped his middle finger into Elroy’s ass, Elroy heard a gulp, a groan, and a loud vulgar gag.
Cleaver opened the passenger door and jumped out of the car with his pants around his knees.
Poor Cheever pulled his finger out of Elroy’s ass and made a face.
When Elroy turned to look at Kyle, he saw Kyle’s head hanging out the window. His upper body heaved in an exaggerated way and he made sounds so painful and so wretched that poor Cheever pushed Elroy off his lap and jumped out of the car to join his twin brother. Cheever didn’t even take time to put his dick back in his pants. Cheever must have had a sensitive stomach, because when he saw the way Kyle was vomiting up all the sushi he’d eaten, he wound up bent over with his hand to his stomach, vomiting all the beer he’d just downed on the other side of the car.
Elroy fell back against the seat and laughed so hard his right foot pushed his underwear beneath the front seat and he didn’t find them until Monday morning when he had the entire car cleaned.
After that, Elroy helped Kyle into the back seat and he drove the twins back home. Poor Cheever’s face had gone so pale he practically crawled out of the car. Cleaver had to help his twin brother climb the front stoop of the building where they lived. And Kyle was so exhausted he remained in the backseat all the way back to the school parking lot.
Elroy parked as close as he could to the sidewalk, and then he helped Kyle out of the backseat. When Kyle was standing, he put his arm around him and asked, “Are you okay, man?”
Kyle moaned and pressed his palm to his stomach. “I swear on my life there are three things I will never do again.”
“What’s that?”
“I’ll never eat sushi unless I can see the ocean from the restaurant, I’ll never go anywhere with twin brothers who have names that rhyme, and I’ll never, ever go on a double date with you again, you fucking perv.”
Elroy started to laugh again. “I’m just glad you stuck your head out the window and you didn’t leave chunks all over my car.”
“Oh, you’re funny,” Kyle said as he took a few steps forward. “You’re a laugh a minute.”
Elroy forced himself to stop laughing. But it wasn’t easy. When he thought about the way Cheever had jumped out of the backseat so he could puke, he wanted to fall down and roll on the pavement. “I’ll be good. I’ll take good care of you.”
“I’m sure you will,” Kyle said. “You’ve already taken good care of me tonight. I can’t believe Cheever pulled his dick out of his pants in the front seat. I don’t even know the guy.”
“Cleaver.”
“Huh?”
“It was Cleaver in the front seat, not Cheever. I was with Cheever in the backseat.”
Kyle sent him a dirty look. “I’ve never been this sick in my life.”
Elroy clenched his fists and made a face so he wouldn’t laugh. “I’ll be good. I promise. I’ll take you upstairs, put you to bed, and I’ll make you a cup of tea and a great big raw octopus and sardine sandwich with some chunky red salsa.”
When he started talking about food, Kyle turned sideways and leaned forward. He vomited again in the parking lot and Elroy laughed so hard this time he started to hiccup and didn’t stop until they were up on their room.
Though Kyle tried to push him away, he rested Kyle on his bed and he removed his shoes. Kyle’s entire body slumped forward from all that sudden regurgitation and he didn’t protest when Elroy removed his pants and his shirt and covered him with the ugly black comforter with bright gold stars. When Kyle closed his eyes, Elroy kneeled down on the floor next to his bed. He caressed his cheek and kissed him goodnight. This time he turned things around and he rubbed Kyle’s leg until he knew Kyle had reached that deep stage of sleep where he would remain for the rest of the night. Before Elroy went to his own bed, he kissed Kyle on the cheek one more time and sighed aloud. In a soft whisper, he said, “I’m trying to be careful. I really am.”
Chapter Eleven
“What’s your xtube name?” Elroy asked.
“My what?” said Kyle. “What’s your username on xtube?” Elroy asked. He was sitting at a small desk next to his bed browsing through xtube videos on his laptop. They’d both slept late that Sunday morning, which was normal for Elroy but extremely out of character for Kyle. It was almost noon and Elroy was still in his underwear. Kyle hadn’t even risen from his bed yet.
Kyle rubbed his eyes and moaned. He placed his palm to his forehead and said, “I have no idea what you’re even talking about. My head is killing me. I’m sure I had food poisoning.”
Elroy sent him a glance from across the room and shook his head. “I can’t believe you don’t know what xtube is, man. I thought every dude in the universe, gay or straight, knew what xtube was. Seriously, man. You need to get out more.”
Though Kyle didn’t seem interested in talking about anything that morning, he lifted his head from the pillow and said, “So what is it?”
Elroy glanced up at the ceiling and thought for a minute. He tapped his index finger against his chin as if he were about to debate an important topic. Then he turned to face Kyle and said, “Xtube is like YouTube, only X-rated. People put up videos of themselves all the time. They have accounts just like YouTube, and usernames. I guess you could say xtube is X-rated social media… like that fucking lame Facebook. And it’s all free, too.”
“It’s homemade porn?” Elroy shrugged. “Some is homemade, some is professional. A lot of adult entertainment studios put up clips and samples all the time. But a lot of xtube is amateur. Once you get in there it’s like this amazing new world, where one dirty link leads to another. You can get lost for hours.”
Kyle rested his head on his pillow. “Are you on xtube?” “I have a few videos there,” Elroy said. “My username is luvtoluvmen.” Kyle groaned aloud and Elroy wasn’t sure whether it was because he still felt sick or because of his cheesy username. Elroy knew it was a tacky name. But that’s what xtube was all about: tacky, cheesy, naughty sex. Elroy figured if you couldn’t have fun there, you might as well put on plaid shorts, wide suspenders, and join a goddamn polka band.
“You wanna see a few of my vids?” Elroy asked. Normally he would never have given out his username or private information like this. People who used xtube shared a discreet unspoken rule that whatever happened on xtube remained on xtube. But he felt close enough to Kyle by then to share this information with him. He knew Kyle would never tell anyone. Besides, Elroy’s xtube videos with that username weren’t all that dangerous. He didn’t get into a lot of the hardcore amateur videos like other users. He basically did a strip show and walked around naked in his videos, and he did it alone, without headshots. But this wasn’t Elroy’s only xtube account. He had two more, with two different usernames, where he did get into more of the hardcore stuff. He never showed his face in these videos and he never shared that information with anyone.