He is looking at me with such intensity that I am certain he can see the lie inside my head. “All right,” he says slowly. “Now tell me the rest of it.”
I sigh, then drop my gaze. I count to five, and then look back up to him, my composure restored. “I was going to,” I say. “But I talked myself out of it. And then, really, I dropped the dispenser. It’s slippery.”
“You talked yourself out of it.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“I saw my reflection in the mirror. I was going to break it with that,” I say, nodding toward the gooey mess on the floor.
“You were going to break a mirror in a public restaurant instead of talking with me?”
I graze my teeth over my lower lip. I don’t answer.
“I see.”
“I didn’t want to make it worse for you. But I guess I did that, anyway.”
“But you’re okay now?” He is speaking very carefully.
“Yes. Just a momentary glitch. System completely reset now. It was just that woman. That horrible woman.”
“All right,” he finally says. He takes my hand; his is warm and reassuring. “Let’s go. We’ll let the janitors worry about the mess.”
I nod and follow him. Already I feel better, just knowing that Damien is at my side. In the restaurant, I search for Jamie, but I don’t find her anywhere. “I’m worried about Jamie,” I tell him. “She was a mess.”
“Do you know why?”
“No, she was just—oh, shit. Is that who I think it is?” I point into the crowd, and Damien’s low whisper of “Well, hell” tells me I’m right. Bryan Raine is at the event, too, and he’s arm in arm, lips to lips, with a svelte, sexy blonde.
“That’s Madeline Aimes,” Damien says.
I remember Evelyn’s words. “A movie star? On her way up?”
He gives me a quizzical look. “When did you start paying attention to Hollywood?”
“I don’t. Lucky guess.” I look around the room again, suddenly worried. “Now I really want to find Jamie.”
I find Ollie, but he hasn’t seen Jamie, either. Whatever detente we’d reached earlier when Susan Morris attacked me seems to have shattered, because he is quiet and distant and keeps shooting Damien angry glances. I, however, am too worried about Jamie to call him on it.
It takes another twenty minutes before we learn that Edward took Jamie home.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark,” Edward says when we meet him in the parking area behind the restaurant. “She assured me that she’d cleared it with you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Damien says. “How was she?”
“I understand there was some trouble with a young man she’s been seeing. You might have to restock the limo’s supply of Scotch.”
Damien grimaces. “Shall we go check on her?” he asks.
I nod. It’s already after midnight, and now that Jamie’s gone AWOL, I’m ready to go home. I start to move toward the limo, but Ollie’s words hold me back. “Raine was just stringing her along.”
I turn back to him. “Well, yeah. Obviously.”
“Obviously?” He jabs a finger toward Damien. “He’s doing the same thing to you.”
I grab Damien’s hand, as much because I want his touch as to keep him right here beside me. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“He keeps you around, but it’s not real.” He holds up his hands and flexes his wrists. “It’s just kink and fun and when he’s tired he’ll toss you aside.”
“You little shit,” Damien says.
“I’m wrong? Really? You know damn well it’s just a game to you. That’s why you never tell her shit. That’s why you haven’t even told her that you’ve been indicted in Germany for murder.”
23
Murder!
I look from Ollie to Damien. Ollie looks smug. Damien looks confused.
“There’s no indictment,” Damien says.
For a moment, Ollie appears scared, then he rallies. “No, apparently they were just stalling. The indictment came in just a few minutes ago. You didn’t know?”
“Wait,” I say. My head is spinning and I’m having a hard time figuring out exactly what I’m feeling. Anger? Hurt? Fear? Confusion? They are all jostling for position inside me, and at that moment, it feels a bit as though my head is going to explode.
I think about those ceramic shards, and I wish to hell I’d pocketed one.
No. Just breathe. You can do this.
I take a deep breath and turn to Damien. “All this time I’ve been assuming that the German indictment is some business violation, and it was actually a murder investigation?”
His hesitation seems to last a lifetime, and throughout his silence, his eyes look only at me, as if he’s trying to find the answer to the question hidden deep inside me somewhere.
“Yes,” he says.
And there it is. The biggest secret of all, and one I gave him about nine billion opportunities to reveal. I think about the times I mentioned German regulations. About the times he let me go on believing that it was just a business thing. Just Stark International dealing with the kind of problem huge corporations deal with.
“I thought your company had broken some regulation about zoning codes or paid too little in taxes or something. This is—”
“Worse,” Damien says. “Much worse.”
I wait for him to say more. To explain. To lie. Something. Anything.
He stays silent.
I suck in air through my teeth, then press my fingers to my temples. I need to think. Mostly, I just need to be alone. “I’m going,” I say. “I need to check on Jamie.”
“All right,” Damien says, his voice a little too calm. “Edward and I will drop you at home.”
“I’ll get home on my own. Thanks.”
“I’ll drive you,” Ollie says.
“The hell you will,” I snap. With Damien, I’m lost in a maelstrom of anger and sadness and confusion and God knows what else. With Ollie, I’m just plain old pissed. “I’ll take a taxi.”
I turn once as I walk away, and my eyes find Damien’s. I hesitate, expecting him to call after me, but he doesn’t, and I fight the urge to hug myself to ward off a coming chill. Slowly, I turn my back to Damien and I continue toward the street. I’m hurt and I’m confused, but right now I just need to focus on one thing. I just need to get home.