“Hey, hey, hey,” Bo said, stepping between the two girls. “We don’t want any trouble. Everybody’s here to have a good time. Don’t ruin it.”
“I’m not ruining it. She is,” Trinity shouted.
“Bo, let’s just go,” Savannah said, tugging at his arm. “I didn’t realize that this party was reserved for jealous skanks. My bad.”
“You b—” Trinity began, darting past Bo to lunge at Savannah.
Bo grabbed Trinity around the waist, easily setting her away from Savannah. Over the top of her head, our eyes met again. They burned through me like hot pokers of disappointment and then he looked away.
“Alright, we’re going,” he said quietly. If there hadn’t been utter silence at the party, I would never have been able to hear him. But as it was, all eyes and ears were tuned into what was going on around the trio and no one was moving a muscle. You could’ve heard a pin drop.
Bo released Trinity and turned to take Savannah’s elbow and guide her back the way they’d come. As I watched them walk away, I was torn between shame that I didn’t intervene and hurt that he’d actually shown up with a date.
As was usually the case, the party quickly resumed as if nothing had happened, but the night was a total loss for me. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt for letting Trinity treat Savannah that way.
“Drew, can you take me to school and jump my car off? The battery’s dead.”
“Now? Can’t it wait?”
“I just want to leave. You can come back after you help me start my car.”
With a sigh, Drew turned and walked away, back in the direction his car was parked. I hurried to follow. When we were both in the car, he turned to me and said, “I don’t know what your deal is lately, but it’s getting old.”
It was my turn to sigh. “I don’t know either,” I said softly, leaning my head back against the headrest and staring out the window. That was a lie, though. I did know what was wrong. Bo was ruining my life, plain and simple.
Almost an hour later, when my car was purring quietly, I thanked Drew with a chaste kiss, told him I’d talk to him later and rolled the window up. Before he was even back in his car, I shifted into drive and turned the car toward home.
Once there, I sat in the driveway looking at the house, dreading going inside. I needed a few more minutes, so I turned the ignition switch over to where just the radio would work. If my battery died now, at least I was at home and there’d be someone around to get it going again in the morning.
I closed my eyes and listened to The Fray sing “How to Save a Life.” A soft knock at my window startled me and my eyes flew open.
There, standing on the other side of the glass, was Bo.
CHAPTER THREE
A myriad of emotions played through me when I looked out and saw him. His eyes were dark shadows in the pale angles of his face. They gave away nothing. It was something about his posture that told me he wasn’t very happy, but I didn’t care; neither was I.
Angrily, I pulled the keys from the ignition and got out of the car. Crossing my arms over my chest, I leaned back against the closed door and waited. When he spoke his voice was low, neutral.
“What was that all about tonight?”
“Trinity hates Savannah. I thought that was fairly obvious,” I said curtly.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
I cast my eyes down, knowing exactly what he meant, but not sure how to respond.
Bo stepped toward me until he was close enough to touch my face. With a finger beneath my chin, he lifted until my eyes met his, until I saw his confusion.
“I know that’s not who you are. What happened?”
I shrugged, staring over his shoulder, out into the night, unable to bare the look on his face. His disappointment was crushing.
“Look at me,” he demanded gently.
Grudgingly, I did.
“You’re not this person. I can see it. Why do you give in to them like you do?”
I felt tears threaten and I willed them back.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do. You go along with them when I can see that you don’t want to. You want to fight against them, to say what you feel, but you don’t. Why?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“I just can’t.”
“Can’t what?
“Can’t fight them.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No, I can’t,” I spat angrily. “I have a future to think about. I need cheerleading to help me get into Stanford. If I don’t get into college, I’ll…I’ll…” I didn’t even know how to explain what would happen to me if I was forced to stay here. I shook my head in frustration. “It is what it is, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“So you’d compromise yourself for a scholarship?”
There was no accusation on his face, no judgment. He was simply bewildered by my behavior and he was trying to reconcile the person I actually am with the person he thought I was. Somehow, that made me feel much, much worse.
“It’s not that easy. And I don’t look at it as compromise. I ignore a lot and bite my tongue to keep peace. Why is that such a bad thing?”
“When you want so badly to do otherwise, that’s compromise.”
“Well, call it what you will. This is the only chance I have to get out of here,” I explained.
I didn’t want to admit that another reason I hadn’t helped derail Trinity was because of my ridiculous jealousy of Savannah.
Bo watched me intently for several minutes before he spoke again.
“Why did you invite me to that party?”
His question took me off guard and I stammered a little. “I, uh, I thought you might like to come.”
“And yet you didn’t even speak to me,” he reminded.
Again, I found that I couldn’t look him right in the eye.
“You weren’t there long enough,” I prevaricated.
“But that’s not the only reason,” he stated.