Despite what he was telling me, despite the fact that he was crazy or sick or deranged or something, my heart swelled inside my chest. It was as if he held my heart in his hand rather than the glass paperweight. It was no longer mine to control. And it felt just as fragile.
That’s when it hit me. What if he’s telling the truth? The way he looked in the basement, he barely looked human at all. What if vampires really are real?
“But you said the only way to kill a vampire is to destroy his heart.”
“Correct.”
“So you should be fine then, right? I mean, you should…come back,” I said, searching for the right phrase.
“The poison attacks the organs, Ridley. Including the heart.” His expression was grave, hopeless.
“Is that why you looked the way you did earlier?”
Bo nodded, dropping his head in either shame or embarrassment. I wasn’t sure which. “It’s worse for a day or two after I drink the…the poison.”
“Well, can’t you just stop?” Finally, I felt brave enough to step toward him. “Can’t you just let it go, let them go, before it’s too late? Can’t you just… live?”
Bo shook his head sadly, lowering his gaze once more to the heart he held in his hand.
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why? Why can’t it be exactly that easy?”
“I’ve taken in too much of their blood. I can tell that it’s killing me. The human blood that I drink, from the blood bank, is barely keeping me alive now and I don’t know how much longer that will last,” he confessed. “I’m having to drink more and more, but still this form wears down that much more quickly.”
“This form? What do you mean?”
“We—vampires—regenerate so quickly, our cells multiply and divide so fast, that they have a translucent appearance once we’ve metabolized our food. Kind of like we’re in a constant state of flux, like we’re growing too fast for light or human eyes to track,” he explained. “But the blood that I drink is used up fighting off the effects of the poison most of the time, so I can’t maintain a human appearance for as long as others.”
A sinking feeling began in the pit of my stomach and seeped into my arms and legs, making them feel like lead, like dead weight. “What do you look like when it wears off, when the poison’s gone and the blood’s gone?” Even after the question was out, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer.
Bo’s lips curled up into a bitter, mirthless twist. “Invisible. I look like nothing.”
I knew that answer alone would spawn hundreds of questions, but right now my focus was on his demise and just how imminent it was.
“So, what will happen when you,” I paused, swallowing the enormous lump in my throat. “When you die?”
Bo looked out the window. “I don’t know. The only information I’ve been able to find out about it is that draining a vampire will kill you, poison you. That’s it.” He shrugged. “Nothing else ever mattered until now. The only thing I cared about was finding out who killed my father.”
“How long do you have until…”
“I don’t know that either, but I’d say not very long.”
I felt the sting of tears and, though I blinked them back, there was no stopping the drops of heartbreak as they welled in my eyes.
The words to the song that was now playing, Wild Horses, stabbed at my heart.
I have my freedom, but I don’t have much time. Faith has been broken, tears must be cried. Let’s do some living, after we die. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away. Wild, wild horses couldn’t drag me away.
“There has to be something that we can do,” I said, trying to still my trembling chin.
A look of sheer agony crossed Bo’s face as he laid the glass heart back on the desk and crossed the room to me. Slowly, gently, he pulled me into his arms. He was giving me the chance to pull away, to turn away, and my heart wrenched all the more at his tenderness.
“This is why I should’ve stayed away from you,” he whispered against my hair.
“Don’t even say that. I wouldn’t have traded this time—however much we have—for anything,” I said, leaning back to meet his eyes. “Not for anything.”
Bo’s eyes searched my face for a few seconds before he lowered his lips to mine. He kissed me with such sweetness, such hopeless softness, that my throat constricted even further. When a light saltiness reached my tongue, I knew that my tears had finally overwhelmed my eyes and spilled down my cheeks, mingling with our kiss.
Bo dragged his lips away and leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes still closed.
“I wish I could just walk away from you. Just walk away and leave you alone, to live your life,” he breathed.
“You can’t save me from pain, Bo,” I cried.
“I can when I’m the one who brought pain into your life.”
“You think you’re the only pain I’ve known? I know all about pain and loss,” I said, pulling back once more to look into his eyes. “My sister died in a car accident three years ago and I was with her. I survived when I shouldn’t have and everyone in my life wishes it had been the other way around. I might as well have lost my entire family in that accident, so I know all about loss.” I reached up and touched his face, which was burning hot. “But even after that, after surviving all that, I don’t think I could survive losing you, Bo. Not you. Not you,” I sighed, leaning my head against his chest.
I felt his arms come around me again, hugging me close to his feverish body.
“You’re burning up,” I murmured. “Is that part of it?”
“Sort of. My temperature will run hot while I metabolize the blood I just drank. When my body starts to cool, I know I need to feed soon.”
That explained a lot about his widely varied body temperature. Until recently, I must’ve always seen him when he was nearing a feeding.
“So I guess you feed before school and it wears off throughout the day?”
“Yeah. A couple of times I’ve had to run home in the middle of the day. It just depends on what’s going on.”