I sprang for the sliding glass door and threw it open. The balcony was small, but it had plenty of fresh air to spare. And no lighthouses in sight. Hopefully, it wasn’t lighthouses in general that brought this out in me—just that one. My hands gripped the railing until my knuckles turned a sickly pale color.
Deep breath in.
Deep breath out.
Two hands extended out on either side of me and grabbed the railing inches away from my own hands. I felt his heat behind me, but we didn’t touch.
“Hey, breathe. You’re okay. I’m sorry,” he whispered in my ear soothingly, as if I were about to jump over the side. “I’m sorry. That was too early for you. I just got a little eager.”
“It’s not your fault. I just don’t want to ever see that again.”
“You won’t. I promise.”
I wondered at his words. What did he mean? Promise was a powerful word. Was he promising to always keep me safe from those people? Surely not. Or was it an empty promise, meaning that I was here now and they wouldn’t get me again? God forbid. I wouldn’t survive it again.
“Why do you care where we were? We’re here now.”
“Because I intend for them all to pay,” he practically growled.
I nodded my head in silence, because what else was there to say? He was mad that they had taken his daughter from him. I didn’t think there was any way in talking him out of his need for justice. In a way, I thought we deserved it.
“We should get ready to go to the station. I want to get this over with,” I told him, still speaking out to the street and feeling his heat radiate into the skin of my back.
“I’d rather make sure you’re okay right now. The station can wait, for all I care. Besides, they’re sleeping so peacefully in there.” His voice was gentle and his calm demeanor was coming back. I just wanted to melt against him and soak in his tranquility. He didn’t seem like the type to ever raise his voice unless someone were to really get him heated up. I liked that.
“I’m okay,” I responded with what I hoped had been a convincing voice. I pushed off of the railing and a solid stomach met my back. The height difference between us meant my ass had hit his thighs and all of the areas in between were melded against me.
I wanted to rejoice in the contact. Real, honest-to-goodness male contact. I craved it. But it wasn’t real, was it? This was just an odd situation the both of us had been thrown into, and we were only here because of the kids. I obviously felt the need to overthink every aspect of my life lately.
He finally let his hands fall away from either side of me and I suddenly realized that his sling was off again. I turned to face him with a reprimand on my lips.
“Why is your sling off? Are you trying to pull all of your stitches out?” I walked past him back into the room. My hands scooped up the discarded sling off his chair and pushed it toward him. “Leave it on.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckled. My eyes couldn’t look away as he gently placed his arm back into the canvas fabric of the sling. His body stretched as he pulled the strap up and around his neck. His chest was so wide I could tell the strap was on its last bit of Velcro. When his arm was fully immobilized once again, he looked down at me with a smirk. “Better?”
Maybe when I knew he hadn’t damaged himself any further. “Let me check it.” I walked forward and reached up to pull his shirt aside, but there was no way with my height that I would be able to see over his shoulder.
I used his good arm to hoist myself up onto the chair next to us and smiled when I got a clear view. I stretched the neck of his navy cotton t-shirt over and very carefully peeled one edge of his bandage aside. Everything looked as if it were still where it should be. I gently pushed the gauze back in place and reminded myself that we both needed to change out our dressings soon.
“You’re lucky. It’s all still intact.” I looked down at his face and nearly gasped at the image below. My br**sts had been directly in front of Lane’s face, and he’d made no attempt to look anywhere else. “Seriously, Lane?” I pushed his good shoulder and stepped down, trying hard not to trail my fingers down him as I went.
He laughed and shook his head while shrugging his shoulders. “I’m a guy. It’s my only excuse.” He continued to laugh. “It was all just… right there!”
“Perv,” I scolded him, but my laugh told him I really wasn’t that mad. “Time to wake the kids up.”
I walked toward the connecting room, but my sudden descent and quick movements had left me a little light-headed. I continued walking until I was in the next room so I could grab a hold of the dresser and control the spinning in my head without Lane’s concerned glare. Once my vision cleared and the room stopped whirling, I sighed in relief and began packing up our bag to head out.
LANE -
We caught a cab outside of the hotel. Braden and Raegan climbed into the backseat first, and I realized there wasn’t enough room for all four of us to sit side-by-side. I scooted in next and pulled Kate onto my lap. It’s never pleasant to have to ride shotgun with the cabbie, so I was glad that I had found a way to get us all back there.
The ride should have only taken us fifteen minutes, but with traffic coming off the bridge it took a good thirty before I saw the dingy police station. I didn’t really mind the drive. Along the way I began pointing out different places to Kate. Even Braden joined in and asked a few quiet questions. Kate was bouncing in my lap, telling me how much she loved riding in cars and airplanes. It took that moment for me to realize she probably hadn’t been in either before these past few days.
Another reason why I didn’t mind the extended stay in the yellow cab—Raegan fell asleep on me. Almost two minutes into the ride, she began to scoot down in her seat. Her head fell lazily onto my shoulder, and I decided I didn’t mind the feeling of her using me to catch some rest.
She was really going to need a decent amount of time to catch up on sleep. She tried to be tough and I knew she was, but I always caught her eyelids fluttering in exhaustion or her head drooping with her immense fatigue.
Last night after my shower, I scanned the labels on her prescription bottles. Even though it had been insanely late, I texted Charlie and asked him to look into what she could be taking those for. I knew the cut on her forehead wasn’t pretty; I had seen it twice already. But I didn’t understand why she required so many different types of drugs. Surely, they were the main culprit in her weariness and those crazy dizzy spells. Should she really be up and about this much? My guess was she probably didn’t know what taking it easy was though, so I’d have to step in and show her.
We pulled up to the curb of the precinct, and I swiped my card quickly through the cab’s card reader. Kate opened the door and slid down onto the concrete. I softly jostled Raegan next to me and felt her sluggishly move, but she didn’t bring her head up.
“Hey, Rae, we’re here,” I delicately crooned. I felt bad for waking her, but I really couldn’t let her continue to sleep in a cab. My insistent hands shook her a little more. She moaned and mumbled what sounded like, “I’m coming,” but I couldn’t be sure because she didn’t look like she was going anywhere.
Panic started to hit me when I realized something wasn’t right here. This wasn’t just normal fatigue. I thought back to our conversation last night when she told me about her heart and her blood pressure.
Quickly, I reached toward her neck and felt for a pulse point. I knew the one in that spot would be stronger than anything I would find in her wrist. I also knew I wouldn’t be able to tell what her blood pressure was, but I just felt the need to know her heart was still pumping.
Lutheran Medical Center would typically only be a five-minute drive, but I didn’t know how long it would take in this afternoon traffic.
“Raegan, I’m gonna take you to the hospital, okay?” I told her. Her head bobbed up and down before she finally raised it to look at me.
“No. No more hospitals.” Her words were tired, but she seemed to be pulling herself together—clawing her way through the fog was more like it. “I just forgot… to take my medicine. Just... grab my bag,” she said, fading slightly.
I cursed and scooped her up into my arms while trying to slide out of the cab. The driver gave me an exasperated expression. No doubt he was wondering when we planned on vacating his vehicle. Asshole. Kate grabbed ahold of the backpack, and with all of her might she hoisted it up onto her tiny back. Holding Raegan in my arms, I reached back into the cab and seized my bag from the floorboard. Good thing I had ditched that sling again.
Raegan’s body was light and conformed to the front of mine easily. Her head burrowed into the side of my neck, and I almost took that moment to rub my face across hers. It was a little too tempting.
Braden was the last to climb out of the yellow car and right after he shut the door, the as**ole screeched his tires in his retreat. I wished I had the time to catch his license plate.
“Hey, Braden, you remember where Officer Charlie’s office was right?” He nodded and glanced nervously at his mom in my arms. “I need you to run real fast inside. If anyone tries to stop you, just ignore them. I’ll take care of it. Find Charlie and tell him I need a Gatorade right away. Make sure he knows it’s super important.”
“I want a Gatorade! What’s that?” Kate asked excitedly. It was obvious she was blissfully unaware of the situation, unlike Braden.
“Tell him we need two Gatorades. Now run! Please.” I tried to not freak him out, but I needed his little feet to get a move on.
I had scooped Raegan up with my injured arm and I knew if I tried to transfer her over, I would likely pull something. I walked slowly, trying to not jostle my burning shoulder in the process. When we made it inside, all eyes were immediately focused on us. Braden had likely just run past all of them and they were curious.
“Hey, what’s going on?” April, the desk clerk, asked softly.
“I think she’s having a low blood pressure episode.” My mom used to get spells like this sometimes, which was the only reason I had half a guess. I looked down at her and her eyes were open, but she seemed exhausted.
“Hey, Frank’s back there having lunch with his wife!” She perked up with this information but I gave her a look, wondering if I should give Frank a cookie for having a wife or for having one that would actually want to come see him. Why was April wasting my time? Her expression instantly flipped and she said, “His wife is an RN, sorry! I keep forgetting you don’t know what goes on around here anymore.”
“Oh, thank God! Grab her and bring her to Chief’s office for me.” I spoke to her over my shoulder as Kate and I made my way up the stairs. My dad’s office was the only one with a couch.
As I turned the corner toward his door, Charlie and Braden came barreling down the hallway with Gatorades in their hands. I knew Charlie kept a ton with him. He was always downing the yellow-colored sports drink. They all followed me into my father’s office and my Dad looked up at the sudden intrusion with wide eyes.
“What the hell did you do to her, son?” His words felt incriminating, but his tone told me otherwise.
“I think it’s her blood pressure.”
“Move, please,” a soft elderly voice called out. I looked up as I placed Raegan on the couch and watched a little old lady with white hair part the crowd with authority. She carried a large bag in her arms.
Frank walked in behind her and placed a chair in front of the couch for his wife to sit on. I knelt down in front of Raegan, offered her the Gatorade, and she lazily sipped at it. I heard Charlie behind me explain to the kids how he had envelopes in his office that they could put stamps on for him. I knew he was just trying to be nice by getting the kids out of the way, but I didn’t want Kate out of the way.
“Leave them here, Charlie,” I said without turning around.
“She’ll be okay, my office is the next door over.”
“She’s fine here.” My voice was final.
“Actually, if we could get the psych evaluations going, it would move this process along for all three of them,” my dad said from where he still sat at his desk.
“I don’t know…” I hesitated. “I think we should wait for Raegan to be fully present.”
“The counselor will need to speak with them individually so it will take a lot of time, son. They’ll be okay. Her office is across the hall.”
I turned to look at both children standing against the wall with their little hands clasped together. They had already been through so much, but I knew they didn’t really understand any of it. I got up, leaving Raegan with the nurse. I looked back at her and then back at the kids. Why was I getting so caught up in all three of them? My sole focus was on Kate, but I wouldn’t lie and say Raegan and Braden weren’t creeping under my skin as well.
“Hey guys, remember how Raegan explained we were all gonna have to talk to a nice lady today? Well, I think it’s time to do that while Rae takes a little nap. I wish one of us could go in with you, but you’ll be fine. You can color pictures and she might even have some paint.” Both of their faces perked up at the mention of drawing pictures. “We will be right here when you get out, okay? And if you don’t want to talk anymore, just come right back here to me.”
“I’ll go!” Kate excitedly called out.
“No, Kate. I’ll go first. Mama needs you to help her get better,” Braden said. Kate happily complied and scampered across the room toward Raegan.
I squatted down in front of Braden. “That’s awfully brave of you,” I told him.