I found him at the opposite end of the hall, talking to a man who wore a dark business suit and a scowl on his face. Another officer was trying to ease Charlie away from the conversation, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“Charlie Doyle, right?” The man in the suit eyed him and Officer Charlie nodded his head in frustration. “Doyle, I’m sorry, but this incident has crossed border lines. It’s not your case anymore. I’m sure you’ve done a fine job, but I’ll need all of the files and any evidence you have,” the disgruntled-looking gentleman requested.
“Oh, now you want to do your job? After I hand-deliver it all solved on your desk? You didn’t give two shits when I tried to get the FBI involved. Now you fuckers want to step in? Fuck off, Agent Johnson,” Officer Charlie bit back.
I quickly jumped to cover Braden’s ears, but the look on his face told me that I shouldn’t even bother. He had heard it all. Officer Charlie spotted us standing behind him and he blanched at my glare.
“Shit!” he exclaimed. Then, realizing he had just cussed in front of a four-year-old again, he smacked himself in the mouth, creating a loud pop.
“Please, Officer, quit while you’re ahead,” I dryly told him.
“I’m sorry, Raegan,” he apologized sheepishly. I was just glad he was finally calling me by my first name and not ‘ma’am’ anymore. I was younger than him, for God’s sake. I watched as he squatted down to speak directly to Braden. “Hey sport, forgive me. I shouldn’t have said any of those words. I really don’t want your mama to kill me so do me a huge favor and don’t repeat them, okay?” Braden nodded his head with a small smirk at the corner of his mouth, but that was all he would be giving. “A man of few words. I like you, kid.”
When he stood back up, I couldn’t hold in the giant yawn that stretched across my entire face. It was less than attractive. “Officer Charlie, please. We’re all tired. It’s way too late for us to still be sitting around. We need to sleep.”
“I know, I’m sorry. This assho—” he started before quickly catching himself. “This man right here is trying to distract me from getting hotel accommodations. Excuse me while I ignore him and take care of you guys.” The gentleman behind him rolled his eyes and then followed Officer Charlie into a nearby room.
Braden tugged on my shirt and I looked down to meet his sweet gaze.
“Mama, I have to go potty.” Before he could complete his sentence, he began bouncing in an erratic manner. Boys! Why do they insist on waiting until the very last moment?
I shoved through the crowd with Braden holding my hand and found the ladies’ restroom at the end of the dark corridor. I directed him into a stall and then leaned over the counter so I could look closely in the mirror. I didn’t know how I’d forgotten about the surgical tape that stretched from my forehead down my temple and stopped just before my right ear.
It was the source of so much incredible pain for so long, but it was worth it. I’d endure it again and again to know I’d be here... instead of there. I wasn’t sure where we would be tomorrow, let alone a month from now, but at least we could finally have a life. Braden and Kate could go to school, meet friends, and live a life children should be allowed to live.
Thoughts of Kate brought a feeling of melancholy, and I just wanted to scoop her up and hide her away from everyone. My eyes were unfocused in the mirror as I stared at my blurry image. My thoughts were a million miles away, but I slowly faded back in. I soon realized Braden had been in there for a while. He was still new at using a stall so I knew he hadn’t locked it. Slowly, I pushed the metal door open and peered inside.
“Braden, sweetie...” I found him sitting fully clothed on top of the closed toilet lid, and his thoughts seemed to be a million miles away as well. My sweet introvert. He had been a worrier for as long as I could remember. “Did you use the potty, yet?” He nodded his head and I crouched down in front of him. “What’s going on, bub?”
“Will we ever see Kate?” he asked softly. My heart lurched and I scrambled to find the right words that could bring him even an ounce of comfort.
“Of course we’ll see her. They won’t be able to keep us away from her. Don’t you think Kate would be very sad if she didn’t see us?”
“I think she would cry.”
“I agree, and no one wants her to cry, right?” Hesitantly, he shook his head. “Look, I’m not going to lie. Things will be different. Kate has her family again, but now they’ll have to realize we’re her family too. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure we still get to see her as much as possible.” And I would. If we had to follow the Parkers to the ends of the earth just so we could be in her life, we would. She and Braden were both my children. I would never be able to say that out loud, but in my heart it was true.
“Okay, let’s put that worry away and go find her. It’s time the three of us get in a nice comfy bed and sleep until next week!”
“Mama, we can’t sleep that long. Our bellies would be so hungry!” He giggled and I melted.
“Oh darn. I am really tired though, so maybe you guys could sleep in just a little bit tomorrow.” I winked at him.
“I’m tired. Kate’s tired too,” he stated confidently.
Braden hopped up on the sink so he could wash his hands. I looked in the mirror and ran my finger across my bandage one more time. When it grazed over a particularly sensitive area, I stopped and pressed a little harder. I pressed hard enough that it made me wince and I relished the feeling. The pain meant I wasn’t dreaming…that I wasn’t going to wake up soon and still be in that room. Still trapped.
I pressed harder and tears welled up in my eyes from the stinging, but I couldn’t seem to stop. I needed to know we were really here. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Braden watching me in the mirror and I immediately dropped my hand. With a smile, I reassured him that everything was okay and he gave me a tentative grin in return. This kid was too wise for his years.
We held hands and pushed the creaky white door open that would lead us back to our girl. The crowd of people was still a bit overwhelming, and for the hundredth time today I wondered why the hell everyone was assembling in the hallway. And didn’t these people have other jobs to do or families to go home to? I felt like a zoo animal being closely observed, and I’d had enough of that over these last four years.
I looked down at Braden, who was trying to peer between everyone’s legs. I heard words like FBI, kidnapping, Mexico, and hospitals being flung around, and I just wanted to shout for everyone to shut up—we were right here! At least have the decency to talk about us behind closed doors.
“Braden, sweetheart, do you see Kate or Mr. Parker anywhere?” He shook his head back and forth and I began to push through people, becoming a little panicky. I wasn’t comfortable with the three of us being separated. I tried to allow Mr. Parker his time alone with her, but now I didn’t like that I couldn’t see her.
Braced against one of the doorframes, I saw a gentleman who had helped us get some food earlier. “Excuse me, Officer...”
“Bradley,” he finished for me.
“Yes, Officer Bradley. Have you seen Kate? Or Mr. Parker?”
He looked a bit confused when he asked, “Mr. Parker? Oh! You mean Lane? That’s hilarious. Umm, no I haven’t seen him. He was carrying his little girl around, but maybe he took her home so she could get some sleep.” He stated it nonchalantly, as if taking the little girl who had become half of my world away from me without even telling me was no big deal.
My heart hammered painfully in my chest, and I pulled Braden down the hall faster. “Kate! Where is she?” I began to yell. I had no shame. Especially when it came to my children. “Kate!”
- FIVE -
LANE -
When a case like the one I was involved in cracked wide open, it was a big f**king deal. Our precinct mainly dealt with vandalism, theft, and burglary, and didn’t get as much excitement as some of the others like the 75th. Sure, there was the occasional armed robbery, arson, or shooting to shake things up, but cases like mine didn’t happen often… especially to an officer.
I cringed when I thought about the many headlines splashed across The Brooklyn Paper and The Brooklyn Daily Eagle. I even saw my picture in the Post once. Brooklyn Police say one of their own is the victim of his daughter being kidnapped. Officer Parker of Brooklyn PD searches for missing daughter. Cops hunt man after officer's daughter abducted.
All I saw when reading those words was Useless father can’t even protect his own daughter. That was what they might as well have said because that was exactly what I felt every day when Kate’s mother looked at me.
I squeezed my little girl tighter. We’d been out in all the chaos of the hallway, but I needed answers from Charlie and I needed them yesterday. He was running around like a chicken with his head cut off, so I told him to meet me in the conference room.
When I turned toward the door, I realized that Kate had slumped down in my arms and fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder. Her soft breaths blew across my neck. Now I was glad I’d told Charlie to meet me in the room because it was much quieter than out there. When I found a chair that looked semi-comfortable, I slouched down in it so Kate could rest her head on my chest.
How was it possible she could be this relaxed with me? I never once imagined that could happen. As each year slipped by, I had become more distraught at the idea that she wouldn’t know who I was when I found her. Technically, I didn’t think she really knew me. She just understood that I was her father, but even that I was grateful for at this point. She seemed to be an outgoing little thing though, never letting a pause linger in our conversation all the way up until she fell asleep.
Charlie strode in the door with his hands weighted down by stacks of papers that I recognized as case files. He plopped them down loudly on the big, wooden conference table in front of me and I growled at him.
“Dammit! Sorry. Fuck, I’m not good with kids,” he explained.
“You don’t say...”
“Yeah, I cussed in front of that other one too.” He waved his hand dismissively, and I chuckled at his obvious uneasiness at being around children.
“How much do you know, Charlie? How the he—” I caught myself and then continued, “How in the world does she know who I am? I haven’t seen her since she was a baby! And what is that nanny doing out there… shouldn’t she be in handcuffs or something?”
The more the words came flying out of my mouth, the more heated I felt. I had always thought the next time I saw Raegan Hayes, I would have my hands tightly clutching her throat. Having Kate back in my arms seemed to cool my need for immediate vengeance, but that didn’t mean I wanted her getting off easily.
Charlie sighed loudly and ran his hands roughly down over his eyes. “Lane... I know it’s always been easy for you to fault her but you need to stop. What is Raegan going to think when she hears you say that?”
“I trusted her to take care of my daughter!” I bit out a little too loudly. As the last word came out, I spotted two little eyes watching me from the doorway.
Before I could say anything else, I heard a commotion out in the hall. A female voice yelled, “Where is she!?” and I instinctively pulled Kate in a little closer.
“Shit, Lane! Did you not tell her you were taking Kate in here?” Charlie scrambled out of the room. Why the hell did I have to tell anyone where I took my daughter?
Braden was still standing in the doorway, and I swear that little guy was glaring at me! How did a four-year-old know how to cast off a glare that hard?
“That’s my sister,” he stated while slowly entering the room. I ignored his words because I didn’t have the heart to tell the little guy how wrong he was. “You can’t take her away from me.”
Suddenly, a flushed and panting Raegan flew in through the doorway, her long, dark brown hair swinging wildly behind her. When she spotted Kate sleeping soundly in my arms and then she looked to Braden sitting in a chair by the door, she visibly relaxed. Her ample chest rose and fell dramatically, and I couldn’t help but think what lay beneath that white, button-down shirt. Kate shifted under my arm and I snapped out of my ridiculous gawking.
“You can’t do that!” Raegan yelled at me from across the room. A cry escaped her clenched teeth and she furiously swiped at her eyes. When I saw her earlier, I didn’t notice the bandage on the side of her face, but now that she was closer, I could see that whatever was under the white tape was nothing to sneeze at. So many questions, I didn’t even know where to begin.
“I can’t take MY daughter into a quiet room to sleep?” I tried to reply nonchalantly.
“You can’t just take her out of my sight. I’m not ready for that,” she whispered.
“Guys, let’s calm down a bit. We’re all tired. Chief is on his way up here and when he clears it, I’ll take you to a hotel,” he said, looking at Raegan while talking, “but you’ll have to come back tomorrow morning.”
“Joy,” she stated sardonically.
“I can take my daughter anywhere I like. I have the freedom to do that, because she’s my daughter. Don’t forget that.” My words came out harsh and cruel, exactly how I had meant them. If my mom were here, she would definitely be swatting me on the back of the head for talking to a woman like that, but sometimes anger consumed my manners—this was one of those times.
Raegan began taking in deep, calming breaths while she ran her fingers through Braden’s hair. He had passed out too, and his little body somehow managed to stretch across three chairs. This gang was exhausted.