“Ah, esclave, this wasn’t supposed to happen.” The evening he’d found me raped by Lefebvre.
“There is pain in intimacy. Let me make your pain my pleasure.” The shower where he replaced himself with the horrible incident.
“You’ll do this or I’ll kill you—do you understand?” The day he forced me to hurt him—all in the name of bringing me back.
I thought about his temper. His violence. His ruthlessness.
I thought about his compassion. His love for birds. His selfless acts of saving women.
So many things to say. So many things that would be forever treasured.
Speak from your heart.
I wouldn’t bow to censorship. I would share our unconventional history. Q made me into the woman I was but I’d also turned him into the man he’d become. Our past formed us and it would be forever a part of us.
My courage was faint, but I straightened my shoulders. “I love you.”
Q smiled, holding my hand. I took a deep breath, throwing myself into the truth, spilling my heart—painting our life with promises. “All my life, I never truly existed. I struggled to know what I was meant for. I followed a path I didn’t understand.” I swallowed. “I was lonely. I never felt the pinprick of heartache, or the warmth of a hug. But then I was captured and sold.”
Q turned to stone, his fingers latching hard around mine.
“The day I was taken, my life ended. I thought I would die. I wanted to die. But then I was sold to a master who changed my world completely.”
Q stopped breathing.
“This new master confused me, hurt me, but ultimately taught me what I was missing all along. I was missing him. He was the hole in my heart—he was my other half. I was no longer lonely, or searching for something I didn’t understand. My grey world became prismatic, and I valued every lesson he taught.”
My heart stuttered. No matter the happiness of being sold to Q, my trials hadn’t ended there.
“But life decided I wasn’t worthy—not yet.” I closed my eyes, fighting back the ghosts of Rio. “I endured a price I didn’t know I could pay, but once again I learned something. The right love—soul-mate love—is priceless.
“My master came for me—proving once again I never had to be afraid or alone but in return I shut him out, hurting him worse than anyone.” My heart cracked for how heartless I’d been. “I shut myself off, unable to trust anymore—trust a life that gave so much but took away more in return. But now I know why. I learned my final lesson.
“Life taught me an eternal love will demand the worst sacrifices. A transcendent love will split your soul, cleaving you into pieces. A love this strong doesn’t grant you sweetness—it grants you pain. And in that pain is the greatest pleasure of all.”
I met Q’s eyes. His lips were pressed into a fine line, containing the smouldering emotion in is gaze. He burned with everything he felt, barely containing it. The connection between us was thick and heavy and I wanted to be alone. I wanted to kiss him. Love him. Worship him.
“Q, I’m not just yours for this lifetime. I’m yours forever. I will follow you through unhappiness, confusion, and hardship. I will bask beside you in success, fortune, and laughter. I will obey you because I trust you. I will push you because I believe in you. I will fight with you because that is where our passion lives. And I will make love to you the way our demons demand.
“My blood is yours.
“My breath is yours.
“And I swear to you when this life is over, I will wait for you to join me. I will travel with you through galaxies and solar-systems to be yours once again. Because a love like this isn’t replicable. You’ve ruined me. Devastated me. Destroyed me by choosing me as your wife.”
A single tear rolled down my cheek. I said my final vow, “Je suis à toi. Je suis ton monstre dans le noir pour toujours.” I’m yours. I’m your monster in the dark forever.
Silence was a heavy shroud, hushing even the tweets of birds outside.
Q hadn’t moved. His body locked down, face hard and dark.
Perhaps I had no right to tell our story aloud. Maybe he thought I’d failed by being so honest. But I wanted Q to know that everything I lived through—every hardship was necessary—because it made me deserving. It taught me Q was worth every sacrifice. It made me strong enough to keep him.
The future was ours. Evolving together. Twisting our souls into one. Knitting our lives into inseparable tapestries. I could never love another like him. Fate designed us from the same darkness, the same fabric of wrongness.
Q cleared his throat. The celebrant didn’t move, waiting for the thick silence to disperse.
Say something! I couldn’t read him. He’d shut down, trembling with colossal energy, glowing with everything he trapped inside. “Tess—” Finally a crack, a small doorway into his feelings. “Je suis—”
Then he folded to his knees.
My stomach lodged in the tight boning of my corset. I’d never seen a man so proud, so strong and fierce, be so shattered and humbled.
Q’s ferocious eyes ensnared me.
“Tess, je ne serai jamais capable d'exprimer à quel point je tiens à toi. Je n’aurais jamais les mots pour exprimer combien Je t'aime.” Tess, I’ll never be able to express how much I care for you. I’ll never know the words to say how much I love you.
He looked away, gathering his thoughts. His back rippled with a deep breath. “Je ne savais pas que j'étais seul. Je ne savais pas que j’étouffais ma douleur et mon besoin d’affection sous le travail. Je hais mon héritage, d’où je viens et je ne me suis jamais senti digne du bonheur. Mais ensuite, toi, esclave Cinquante-huit ans, est entrée dans mon monde. Tu m’as fait tout remettre en question.” I never knew I was lonely. I never knew I smothered my pain and the need for connection beneath my work. I hate my heritage—where I’ve come from—and never felt worthy of happiness. But then you, Slave Fifty-eight, entered my world. You made me question everything.
“Je voulais te briser. T’adorer. Te faire crier. Je voulais tant de choses mais par-dessus tout, je voulais ce que j'ai vu dans tes yeux brillants pour moi, que tu me fasses confiance. Je voulais ton âme.” I wanted to break you. Adore you. Make you scream. I wanted so many things but beneath it all, I wanted what I saw in your eyes glowing for me, trusting me. I wanted your soul.
I reached down, begging him to take my hand. He did, pressing a sharp kiss to my knuckles. “Tu m’acceptes pour ce que je suis. Mes ténèbres et le reste. Mes pêchés et le reste. Tu es mon égal. Mon professeur. Je suis ton disciple. Je suis ton propriétaire. Je ne pourrais pas être plus amoureux de toi même si j'avais deux cœurs au lieu d'un. Ma vie est à toi. Mon âme est à toi. Je fais le voeu de toujours te consoler. De toujours te protéger. Je vais pleurer avec toi. Je vais rire avec toi. Je t’enlacerai tous les soirs de notre vie.” You accept me for me. Darkness and all. Sin and everything. You are my equal. My teacher. I am your disciple. I am your owner. I couldn’t be more in love with you if I had two hearts instead of one. My life is yours. My soul is yours. I vow to always comfort you. Always protect you. I will cry with you. I will laugh with you. I will hold you every night of our lives.”
Q’s voice deepened, filling with heartache and overwhelming love. “Je ne déteste plus mes démons, car tu les combats pour moi. Je ne me sens plus seul parce que tu es mon refuge. Je ne me fais plus peur parce que tu contrôles ma bête. Je suis ton monstre, Tess. Je tuerai ceux qui t’ont fait du mal. Je nourrirais ceux qui s’occuperont de toi . Je ne cesserai jamais de chasser tes cauchemars et de t’offrir une vie parfaite.” I no longer hate my demons because you fight them on my behalf. I no longer feel alone because you are my home. I no longer fear myself because you control my beast. I’m your monster, Tess. I’ll kill those who hurt you. I’ll nurture those who tend you. I’ll never stop hunting your nightmares or providing a perfect life.”
My legs wobbled. The conviction in his tone, the edge of violence in his eyes—he shot barbs right into my heart. The echoes of his vows would live in me for an eternity. He’d made me immortal with his words.
I believed every vow. I cherished every promise. I never needed to be afraid or lost. Ever again. Because he would protect me and I would protect him. Always.
His eyes latched onto the ‘Q’ branding my neck. His face tightened with passion. “Tu portes mon nom, donc je sais que tu seras toujours à moi. Permets moi de passer l’éternité à te protéger et à t’aimer, esclave. Je suis à toi. Je suis ton monstre dans le noir pour toujours.” You wear my mark, so I know you’ll always be mine. Let me spend my forevers protecting and loving you, esclave. I’m yours. I’m your monster in the dark forever.”
Silence fell as Q climbed to his feet, wincing. He looked drained but content as if he’d poured everything from him to me and had nothing left. His broken body needed to rest.
With a look full of black passion, he pulled me into a tight embrace. The celebrant didn’t say a word as Q’s lips pressed against mine. He kissed me with the fine edge of control and anger I was so used to.
His tongue slipped past my lips. I met his with mine, dancing together, making love together. I went limp in his arms. All the tension and love turned me from mannequin to puddle. I wanted the honour of pampering him, healing him. I wanted him na**d in bed.
The kiss could’ve been a century or only a moment but it was the seal on our promises. A non-verbal agreement we were each other’s for eternity.
Pulling back, Q stiffened. His eyes narrowed on something behind me. I tried to shift in his arms, but Suzette appeared, eagerness vibrating around her. “Please let her go, master.”
Q’s lips pulled back into a snarl. “What are you doing, Suzette. It’s not over. Go away.”
She ducked her head, cheeks pinking at his temper. “I know. But allow me to do something before the final vow.”
My blood was replaced with molasses. Thanks to Q’s mind-twisting kiss nothing made sense. All I wanted was to be alone with him. I needed to bask in this sweet vulnerability between us.
Feminine hands landed on my shoulders from behind, tugging me from Q’s embrace.
Hey! Stop.
“Trust us, Tess.” Her—the woman who’d been singing. She smiled softly. “I’m Angelique—Frederick’s wife. Hi.”
My brain skipped, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. “Um—hi.” I stumbled in her hold, struggling to stay attached to Q. “Please, let me go.”
“Yes, let her go, Angelique. You don’t want me angry and you’re doing a damn good job,” Q snapped.
Angelique shook her head. “Not yet. Trust us.” She pulled harder.
My arms went from holding Q to holding air. The only part locked together was our fingertips. Q stood there, breathing hard, his face twisted with pain. He looked livid but too banged up to move. “Will someone please tell me what the f**k is going on?”
“I will. Come with me, Mercer.” Frederick jerked him, breaking the last remaining contact of our fingers. Q spun around, groaning in pain. “Roux—what the—” Frederick led him away, lending a hand as Q’s stitched up legs seized from standing too long.
Let me go! I wanted to be the one who Q used as support. I wanted to hold him while his body healed.
Suzette cut off my vision, standing directly in front of me. “Remember when I said to trust me. That the second part was for him?” Her hazel eyes shimmered with nervousness. “Please…trust me.”
I looked over her head to a fighting Q. Both Frederick and Franco whispered in his ear, holding his shoulders to prevent him causing more injury.
“You’re ruining it, Suzette.” I swallowed my anxiety, battling with trusting whatever she planned to do. “Please—”
She smiled. “It will make sense. Just let it happen.” Her eyes flew to Angelique behind me. “Ready?”
“Yes.” Angelique whispered in my ear, “It will be okay. I promise.” Her hands fell to my sides just as Suzette gripped the front of my dress.
What the hell are they doing?
My eyes searched for Q but he was surrounded by his entourage. No doubt hurting himself trying to fight. Let them do it. Get it over with.
I relaxed a little and Suzette took my silence as permission.
With a sharp nod, Suzette ruined my life. The wondrous gown, so brilliantly made and oh so beautiful, ripped with the echoing sound of a lightning bolt.
The fabric ripped from the sides as if the weakness had been deliberately sewn into the dress, splitting like a well sliced cake.
It only took one tug to turn the white masterpiece into a disaster on the floor. It pooled, dead and forgotten by my feet.
What has she done?!
My heart exploded at being stripped of the only wedding dress I’d ever wear. All the preparation this morning for nothing—it ended up in pieces on the floor.
I blushed, bringing my arms up to hide my corset-clad br**sts. The swell of flesh teetered provocatively on top of the tightly cinched lingerie. The black sexy pantyhose were on display, complete with saucy bow, and glittering red sequin shoes. My knickers were black lace, hiding my decency with nothing more than darker detailing between the legs. The garter belts clipped to the corset, imprisoning my legs with frilly black stays.
I’d been transformed from bride to whore.