Kate was breathing quickly and little prickles of fear were beginning to course over her body. She should go to New York or someplace—not bother to sell the house. She didn’t need the money. She had plenty. Nobody could find her. Yes, but if she ran out and the clever person heard Ethel tell the story, wouldn’t that cinch it?
Kate got up from her bed and took a heavy dose of bromide.
From that time on the crouching fear had always been at her side. She was almost glad when she learned that the pain in her hands was developing arthritis. An evil voice had whispered that it might be a punishment.
She had never gone out in the town very much, but now she developed a reluctance to go out at all. She knew that men stared secretly after her, knowing who she was. Suppose one of those men should have Charles’ face or Samuel’s eyes. She had to drive herself to go out once a week.
Then she built the lean-to and had it painted gray. She said it was because the light troubled her eyes, and gradually she began to believe the light did trouble her eyes. Her eyes burned after a trip to the town. She spent more and more time in her little room.
It is possible to some people, and it was possible for Kate, to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time. She believed that the light pained her eyes, and also that the gray room was a cave to hide in, a dark burrow in the earth, a place where no eyes could stare at her. Once, sitting in her pillowed chair, she considered having a secret door built so that she would have an avenue of escape. And then a feeling rather than a thought threw out the plan. She would not be protected then. If she could get out, something could get in—that something which had begun to crouch outside the house, to crawl close to the walls at night, and to rise silently, trying to look through the windows. It required more and more will power for Kate to leave the house on Monday afternoons.
When Cal began to follow her she had a terrible leap of fear. And when she waited for him behind the privet she was very near to panic.
But now her head dug deep in her soft pillows and her eyes felt the gentle weight of the bromide.
Chapter 41
1
The nation slid imperceptibly toward war, frightened and at the same time attracted. People had not felt the shaking emotion of war in nearly sixty years. The Spanish affair was more nearly an expedition than a war. Mr. Wilson was re-elected President in November on his platform promise to keep us out of war, and at the same time he was instructed to take a firm hand, which inevitably meant war. Business picked up and prices began to rise. British purchasing agents roved about the country, buying food and cloth and metals and chemicals. A charge of excitement ran through the country. People didn’t really believe in war even while they planned it. The Salinas Valley lived about as it always had.
2
Cal walked to school with Aron.
“You look tired,” Aron said.
“Do I?”
“I heard you come in last night. Four o’clock. What do you do so late?”
“I was walking around—thinking. How would you like to quit school and go back to the ranch?”
“What for?”
“We could make some money for Father.”
“I’m going to college. I wish I could go now. Everybody is laughing at us. I want to get out of town.”
“You act mad.”
“I’m not mad. But I didn’t lose the money. I didn’t have a crazy lettuce idea. But people laugh at me just the same. And I don’t know if there’s enough money for college.”
“He didn’t mean to lose the money.”
“But he lost it.”
Cal said, “You’ve got this year to finish and next before you can go to college.”
“Do you think I don’t know it?”
“If you worked hard, maybe you could take entrance examinations next summer and go in the fall.”
Aron swung around. “I couldn’t do it.”
“I think you could. Why don’t you talk to the principal? And I bet the Reverend Rolf would help you.”
Aron said, “I want to get out of this town. I don’t ever want to come back. They still call us Lettuce-heads. They laugh at us.”
“How about Abra?”
“Abra will do what’s best.”
Cal asked, “Would she want you to go away?”
“Abra’s going to do what I want her to do.”
Cal thought for a moment. “I’ll tell you what. I’m going to try to make some money. If you knuckle down and pass examinations a year early, why, I’ll help you through college.”
“You will?”
“Sure I will.”
“Why, I’ll go and see the principal right away.” He quickened his steps.
Cal called, “Aron, wait! Listen! If he says he thinks you can do it, don’t tell Father.”
“Why not?”
“I was just thinking how nice it would be if you went to him and told him you’d done it.”
“I don’t see what difference it makes.”
“You don’t?”
“No, I don’t,” said Aron. “It sounds silly to me.”
Cal had a violent urge to shout, “I know who our mother is! I can show her to you.” That would cut through and get inside of Aron.
Cal met Abra in the hall before the schoolbell rang.
“What’s the matter with Aron?” he demanded.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do,” he said.
“He’s just in a cloud. I think it’s that minister.”
“Does he walk home with you?”
“Sure he does. But I can see right through him. He’s wearing wings.”
“He’s still ashamed about the lettuce.”
“I know he is,” said Abra. “I try to talk him out of it. Maybe he’s enjoying it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing,” said Abra.
After supper that night Cal said, “Father, would you mind if I went down to the ranch Friday afternoon?”
Adam turned in his chair. “What for?”
“Just want to see. Just want to look around.”
“Does Aron want to go?”
“No. I want to go alone.”
“I don’t see why you shouldn’t. Lee, do you see any reason why he shouldn’t go?”
“No,” said Lee. He studied Cal. “Thinking seriously of going to farming?”
“I might. If you’d let me take it over, I’d farm it, Father.”
“The lease has more than a year to run,” Adam said.