“Maybe not. But Miri can handle it. If you go to see him it could be worse for her.”
“You really believe that?”
“I do, Rusty.”
“I’m not sure I agree.”
“You don’t have to.”
Rusty said, “When you’re a parent you’ll understand.” She knew she was saying that too often, whenever she was stuck. But she couldn’t help herself.
—
ELEANOR CALLED an emergency meeting of the Hamilton Headlines staff. Tiny came, too.
They applauded when Miri came in. She looked around, her eyes misty. “I’m going to miss this,” she said.
Eleanor said, “We’ve talked about going on strike.”
Suzanne said, “Or resigning.”
Eleanor said, “On the other hand, we can use this as a chance to write what we think.”
Miri looked at Tiny.
“I won’t be asking Mr. Royer’s permission for any more stories,” she said.
“But what about your job?” Miri asked.
Tiny shook her head. “There are other jobs.”
Elizabeth Daily Post
CRASH PROBE REVEALS TWO ENGINES FAILED
Extraordinary Release of Preliminary Findings
By Henry Ammerman
FEB. 28—Both of the right engines failed on the National Airlines four-engine DC-6 that crashed into the Janet Memorial Home’s yard on Feb. 11.
The CAB investigator also announced that the DC-6’s radial 18-cylinder Pratt & Whitney “Double Wasp” engines are being disassembled piece by piece and nut by nut at the facilities of Pacific Airmotive Co. in Linden. This is the same type of engine that powered the Convair 240 that crashed near Battin High School last month and the C-46 that crashed into the Elizabeth River in December, when an engine exploded. The “Double Wasp” is one of the most widely used engines in aviation, with a reputation for reliability earned during the adverse conditions of World War II.
Crowds continue to gather at the crash site, which has taken on a carnival air, with a hawker selling bags of popcorn and families taking their children to see the remains of the devastation.
26
Christina
Christina’s period was late. She was beside herself with worry. Jack said to give it another two weeks. It was probably the stress of the crash. He swore he’d pulled out in time. She was distracted at school but everyone knew she’d been at the scene of the third crash, everyone knew she’d tried to help the injured. Even Mama and Baba were kind. Athena said she was getting too much attention, that the family was babying her, that staying at the crash site that night might not have been the best decision she’d ever made. But the aunts and uncles threw a family party for her. Really, it was Jack who rushed into the burning plane. Jack and Mason and Mason’s friends from Janet. But she couldn’t tell them that. She didn’t want to bring up the subject of Jack.
Finally, when they were alone in the kitchen, Mama asked, not unkindly, “You were out on a date with that boy?”
“Not so much a date,” Christina tried to explain. “We’re just friends. We went to Twin City, the roller rink.”
But Mama was more interested in Jack than skating. “So who is this friend? He’s a Greek boy?”
“His name is Jack McKittrick.”
“McKittrick?”
“Yes.”
“He’s Irish?”
“Half, yes.”
“And he’s not a boyfriend?”
“No. But what if he was?”
“A boyfriend?”
Christina nodded. “I’m not saying he is…but just suppose…”
Mama sucked in her breath. It felt like she was sucking in all the air in the room. Christina felt dizzy, like she might faint. She steadied herself against the kitchen table.
Finally, Mama spoke. “Baba and I would be very disappointed, very concerned. And your Yaya and Papou—they would kill me for letting you have an Irish boyfriend.”
“His mother wasn’t Irish.” Christina blurted this out, digging herself in deeper and deeper.
“She was Greek?”
“She might have been. She had dark hair and dark eyes. And I think her name was Eleni.” Lies and more lies. She had to stop.
“Eleni,” her mother said quietly. Christina knew Jack’s mother’s name was Elaine but that was close enough. She was probably Italian. Didn’t Jack once tell her his mother made spaghetti sauce from scratch?
Christina’s anxiety was showing up not just at home, where she left the cap off the toothpaste, and one time forgot to flush the toilet, leading Athena to give her hell, calling her disgusting—but at work, where she tried to be extra careful, not letting her mind wander. Still, Daisy sensed something was wrong. “Whatever it is, if I can help in any way, let me know.”
“Thank you, Daisy.”
“You know you can trust me.”
“I do know. It’s just that…” She was that close to confiding in Daisy.
“You’ve been through a terrible time,” Daisy said. “The death, the destruction—once was bad enough, but you’ve seen it twice, Christina. That would be hard on anyone. Dr. O has a friend, a patient, you’ve probably met him…Dr. Reiss?”
“Yes, I’ve seen him at the office several times.”
“You could talk with him. I know Dr. O would be glad to set it up for you.”
“I don’t think…not now, anyway…but thank you.”
Every time she passed the lab down the hall she looked in and saw the fat white rabbits in their cages. She could have a urine test to see if she was pregnant but she didn’t want to be responsible for killing a rabbit, and the rabbit died whether or not you were pregnant. A lot of people thought it only died if you were pregnant. Ha! How did they think the technicians checked the rabbit’s ovaries? No, she couldn’t do that. Besides, she couldn’t just walk in with a cup of urine and ask for the test. They knew her family from the luncheonette downstairs. They knew she worked for Dr. O. She would have to wait a few more weeks, wait for her period to come. She wasn’t nauseous, though she was sometimes dizzy. She didn’t crave certain foods—in fact she had very little appetite. And she didn’t think her breasts were swelling, though Jack did.
She would not have sex with Jack, no matter how many times he said, “But, honey, if you’re already pregnant it doesn’t matter.”
“And if I’m not?”
“Either way, I’ll be more careful. I’ll use a rubber until we know for sure.”
“I can’t, Jack. Please don’t push me.”
He was frustrated but not angry. He taught her how to give him a hand job. At first she didn’t think she could touch it. But now she was more comfortable. Now she thought of it as a friend. She liked the way it responded to her touch. Jack put her hand on his balls. “Feel how tight they get,” he whispered. “That’s because it feels so good.”
Then he’d spurt, not on her if she was lucky.
At first she wouldn’t let him touch her that way. “Are you sure I can’t get pregnant? That is, if I’m not already pregnant?”
“Don’t worry.”
But worry was her new middle name.
When she let herself go, when she let him touch her there, she enjoyed it. She cried out when she got that good feeling. Why, oh, why hadn’t they done it this way in the first place? Then they wouldn’t be in this predicament. Now she was six weeks late. She wasn’t ready to be a wife and she certainly wasn’t ready to be a mother. There was talk of a doctor in south Jersey who could take care of it but it cost a lot of money and she wasn’t sure it was safe.
One night when Jack met her after work he said, “How about a quick trip to Elkton?”
“You mean elope?” Debbie Reynolds had eloped to Elkton. And Willie Mays, too. Everyone knew about Elkton. They called it Marry-Land instead of Maryland. Usually it was a joke but Jack didn’t sound like he was joking. Was he proposing to her?
“I’ve got it all figured out,” he said. “We drive down early Saturday morning. Leave by six a.m. We get hitched, then drive back.”
“You mean get married?” Christina had trouble getting out the words. Wasn’t this moment supposed to be romantic?
“I can’t stand seeing you so unhappy.”
“I’m not unhappy. I’m worried.”
“That’s what I mean.”
“I don’t know, Jack.”
“We love each other, don’t we?”
“Yes.”
“We want to spend the rest of our lives together, don’t we?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s do it. No one has to know. It’ll be our secret.”
“But if I’m pregnant I’ll have to tell my family. There’s no way to keep that a secret. And when they find out they’re going to kill me. Or you. Or both of us.”
“No, they won’t.”
She looked at him. Did he really think this could be solved so easily?
“We’ll tell them it’s because I’ve been called up.”
She burst into tears. She’d prayed Korea would be over before Jack’s number came up, even though she knew very well he was 1-A. Jack tried to comfort her but nothing worked.