Kiss Me If You Can (Bachelor Blogs 1) - Page 63/69

Her words hung between them. “I don’t know what to say.”

She redressed, pulling her panties back on. “Then do what my parents taught me and don’t say anything.” Her voice was tight with hurt and disappointment.

Had she really expected him to drop his entire life and head off on one of her journeys? he wondered.

Then again, she wasn’t asking about a single vacation and they both knew it. There was too much between them to think she was referring to a one-shot deal. This was a serious commitment issue they were facing here.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to face him. “Lex, I have a job, here. I can’t just pick up and take off whenever the whim strikes,” he tried to explain.

“Oh. So your I love you came with the expectation that I’d suddenly want to give up everything in my life and settle down?” she asked incredulously.

He set his jaw, seeing stalemate all over this argument.

“It sounds like yours came with the opposite expectation. That I’d pick up and run at a moment’s notice.”

Her eyes filled, causing his stomach to cramp.

She forced a cavalier shrug. “To quote you, ‘That’s what I do.’And you knew that.”

Yeah, he had.

She wiped at her eyes. “Just like I knew you’d write my grandmother’s story, one way or another.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

She shook her head. “I still don’t know. But I’ve made my peace with it. Because it’s part of who you are. I could see that story lit a fire in you and it would be good for your writing. So, yes, I’m okay with that.”

He blew out a deep breath. “Lexie…”

She fluffed her hair with one hand, but she still looked as though she’d been thoroughly kissed, and more.

“I have to admit I didn’t think it through before I asked you to go with me, but now that I have, it’s a good idea. You could write. Free from the draining confines of the news, you could explore the world and see the colors!” Excitement tinged her voice and that pink flush colored her cheeks as she shared her reasons with him. “Imagine what that would do for your creative process.”

Her words excited him. They also scared the crap out of him at the same time.

He raised an eyebrow. “Would the creative process pay the bills?” he asked more defensively than he’d meant to.

“Would it hurt to find out?” she shot back.

His head began to pound. A drink before this damn auction might also be a good idea.

Coop glanced at his watch. He was supposed to check in with the Lancaster Foundation people half an hour before the start of the auction. He was already late.

“Don’t let me keep you.” She jerked away. “I’ll leave first. I need to stop at the restroom anyway to freshen up.” She headed for the door, storming through it without looking back.

“Well, that went well,” he muttered, feeling like an uncaring ass.

But, really, had she expected him to uproot his entire life just for her?

Why not? He expected her to alter her entire being to stay home for him. He might not have said as much, but by refusing her outright, he’d implied it.

He didn’t have a solution, but he had an auction to emcee. He wondered if Lexie would stick around for the event or take off, leaving him to face this crowd alone. If their fundamental disagreement was anything to go by, it was something he ought to get used to.

LEXIE HEADED DIRECTLY to the ladies’ room. She found herself sitting in the powder room, head in her hands, trying to pull herself together before dealing with the outside world—her grandmother and Sylvia, the crowd in general and, yes, Coop.

For a few brief minutes she had everything she could ever want and then in typical Lexie style, her impulsiveness had destroyed any chances at a future. Of course she wanted Coop to travel with her, but she could have approached him with the idea in a way he could have handled. Instead, she’d ended up alone.

Well, then. Her body still tingling from sex in a coat closet of all things, she stood and glanced in the mirror. “Just great. Look at me,” she muttered, staring at her bare lips and messed-up face.

“Can I offer you some makeup?” Sara strode over.

“I didn’t hear you come in.”

The other woman shrugged. “Here I am.”

“Ditto.”

“What happened?” she asked, opening her gold purse and pulling out an array of makeup products.

“Too bad I didn’t think to bring any with me. Thanks.” Lexie forced a smile and began repairing the damage both her own tears and Coop’s beard had done to her face.

“I’m a good listener,” Sara pushed.

Lexie sighed. “I didn’t run away, if that’s what you think. In fact, it was just the opposite. I asked Coop to come with me to Australia.” She met the other woman’s gaze in the mirror.

Sara let out a slow whistle. “You’ve got guts.”

“But not many brains. I scared him to death.” She patted concealer beneath her eyes and applied some blush to her cheeks.

“I’ll just bet you did. Coop’s such a creature of habit it’s almost scary. He likes what’s comfortable.”

“Then how do you explain his attraction to me?” Lexie asked, choking back threatening tears.

She’d promised herself she’d never let a man hurt her the way Drew had. Well, she’d certainly kept that promise. Falling for Coop had caused her far worse pain than Drew ever could. Because she loved him so much more.

Sara shook her head. “There’s no explaining chemistry. I ought to know.”

Curious, Lexie glanced at her. “Sounds like you’re talking about one person in particular.”

She shrugged. “We’re not discussing me, remember? We’re talking about you. And Coop. When I warned you not to hurt him, I never considered the possibility that he might do a number on you. I’m sorry.”

Lexie raised one hand in the air, letting it helplessly drop to the ground. “The course of true love never runs smooth.”

“Is that what this is?” Sara asked.

“It is for me. And Coop said the same thing. Until I blew it.”

Sara’s eyes opened wide. “You don’t walk away from love. Unless you’re in my family,” she said, laughing. “Lexie, what is it you want from life, if you don’t mind my asking? I mean where do you see yourself five or even ten years from now?”