Zane could see how very tired Ty was in every move he made, when hed stare blankly at nothing and then shake it off, how he was so still. Hed been through the emotional wringer today, and the whole past week certainly hadnt been a cakewalk. Zane was even more concerned now than he had been earlier.
When theyd spoken briefly before leaving the office, Zane had honestly thought Ty might drop on the spot, and hed suggested they just skip the wake. But Ty had insisted he wanted to go, so Zane had relented. Theyd stay until the party started to break up; then Zane would drive people home and take Ty home with him. Maybe now, finally, theyd be able to sleep one night in peace, without dreading the coming day. More than anything else, he wanted to hold Ty through the night and know hed be there in the morning, safe and sound.
“We thought Mac locked you up somewhere,” Alston said. “They about had Garrett shackled to the table all evening for the debrief.” Ty had his bottle to his mouth. He looked from Alston to Zane and nodded, still drinking. After he set the bottle down, he reached out and patted Zanes knee. “My partner did all the heavy lifting. They didnt have too many questions for me, just the basics. Do you like risking your life for your stupid partner, do you have suicidal tendencies, does the dark still make you piss yourself?”
“Oh, par for the course, then,” Perrimore egged.
Zane didnt try to hold back the chuckle. “Now, now, Freddy, dont get him all riled up when we finally get to relax.” Ty just gave him a raspberry and continued drinking his beer, wearing a decent enough approximation of a smile. The whole table laughed, and Zane soaked in the unusual feeling of camaraderie as the group fell into casual talk again.
The chatter was interrupted when one of the assistant SAICs stood on a chair and yelled to get everyones attention. The whole pub calmed, and Dan McCoy stood up, drink in hand.
“Okay, I think everybodys here whos coming. Its been an absolute hell of a day, more for some than others, and I want to tell you how proud I am that you all stuck with it through this mess. It would have been way too easy to knuckle under when the public turned on us and the bombs kept coming. But we all did our jobs, even when we knew wed get nothing but shit for it.” McCoy lifted his bottle. “To Lydia Reeves, who died in the line of duty. God bless her memory.”
“Hear, hear,” Alston said, just loud enough for the table to catch. Zane and the others echoed the sentiment as everyone raised their drinks in a toast to their fallen comrade.
A few moments of expectant silence later, the hairs on Zanes arms rose as Ty began to sing the first few lines to “Amazing Grace.” When he reached the second verse, no one joined in with him, all of them either too stunned or too entranced by his voice to do anything but listen as they mourned.
S UNLIGHT glowed buttery yellow as it beamed through the open curtains in Zanes bedroom. His eyes just barely open, he sleepily admired the light, soaking it in, a quiet joy filling him simply because he could see it. He lay still in the mussed bed for long minutes, waking up slowly and savoring it.
Finally he yawned and shifted in the sheets, smiling despite the impressive array of aches and pains from the bruising all over his body. Ty hadnt added to the bruises last night. Theyd both been so tired that all they could do was strip and collapse into bed, where Ty had burrowed into Zanes arms, wrapped around him like a limpet, and kissed him gently over and over between their whispers of achingly tender words that were so difficult to say in the light of day, until theyd drifted off to sleep.
Zane hummed and rolled to his back, reaching out for Ty only to feel cool sheets. Frowning, Zane sat up, and as the sheet pooled across his lap, he heard a soft crinkle. He picked up the sheet of paper and unfolded it to read two short lines written in Tys messy scrawl that brought Zanes happy morning crashing down around him.
I’m sorry. Walls are closing in and I need to go. Love you.