My eyes trained on my shoes, I stand in the middle of the office flicking the beads of my rosary.
I don’t lift my head. I don’t dare look him in the face right now.
I know Bob and Frankie can do what they like. There’s no one holding them back. But imagine finding your dad screwing your best friend.
Ewww.
Frankie comes up behind me, placing an arm around my waist. She pulls me into her and chuckles. “Oh, c’mon. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s just sex. We’ve talked about sex before.” Bob makes a disgusted noise in his throat, and Frankie says in his direction, “Don’t you start. She’s eighteen years old. Don’t act like you thought she could avoid it forever.”
Bob curses under his breath. “You’re really not helping, Francis.”
Frankie places her lips at my ear and whispers out the side of her mouth, loud enough for all of us to hear, “Uh-oh, now I’m in trouble. He called me Francis.”
Bob scoffs. “Cat is a good girl. She’s not having sex. Ever.” Grasping for a ray of hope in his desperation, he says weakly, “Besides, she’s dedicated to God. And the church.”
Frankie barks out a laugh. “You actually sounded like a real priest for a second there. Kudos to you.”
“Yeah, well, one of us has to act legit. Lord knows you’d blow our cover in less than an hour if I left you in charge. And back to the issue—like I said, Cat will not be having sex. Not as long as I’m alive.”
Frankie leans over the desk, her hair still free as it hangs in front of Bob’s face. A cruel smile spreads across her face. “What makes you think she hasn’t already?”
Oh, my God. I have no idea where this conversation is going, but I don’t like it.
I hiss, “Frankie!”
She shrugs, and Bob turns to me looking shocked. “Is that true, Cat?”
Still looking at Frankie, my lip curls. “Look at what you did.”
Bob asks hesitantly, “Was it James?”
Oh, man.
I haven’t heard that name in over two years.
Frankie’s face pales as she turns to me. “I’m sorry. I was only joking. I had no idea he’d...”
Bob cuts her off when he repeats, “Was it James?”
Frankie wraps her arm around my shoulders in a consoling gesture.
Thoughts of James cause a flurry of emotions to course through my mind. Anger. Sadness. Grief. Anger. Mostly anger. Although I’m not sure who that anger is aimed at.
Frankie clears her throat before announcing, “I was only joking around, Bob. Cat hasn’t been with anyone...not in the biblical sense.” No one says a thing, so Frankie adds, “Sometimes, I don’t know when to quit with the jokes. Sorry...to both of you.”
I accept her apology with a small nudge of my head into her shoulder.
Bob coughs. “I shouldn’t have brought him up. I’m sorry, Cat. I should’ve known she was joking.”
A memory seems to come out of nowhere. I stare through the foot of the table.
A concerned, “Cat?”
Then distantly, “Cat?”
James smiles down at me and his brows furrow in disbelief. “For me? Really?”
I hand him the wrapped gift, smiling. “Happy birthday.”
He leans into me, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. And it’s wonderful. I love his kisses.
His messy light brown hair curls behind his ears; his hazel eyes crinkle in the corners as he smiles, his straight white teeth gleaming. “You didn’t need to get me anything, Cat.”
My sixteen-year-old self flushes. “Twenty-one is a milestone. It’s an important birthday. Of course you need a gift.”
His face turns angry, and then sad. He brings his forehead down on mine gently and whispers, “I don’t deserve you.”
My eyes close in contented bliss. I whisper back, “I love you, James.”
I come back to reality with a start. A sharp, “What?” flies out of my mouth.
Bob and Frankie both blink at me.
Bob utters quietly, “I’m sorry, girl. I shouldn’t have brought him up. It’s been a long time.”
I nod in agreement. It has been a long time.
He clears his throat, and then smiles. “So, what brought you down here quicker than a demon bat flying out of hell?”
I almost forgot. A small smile plays at my lips.
Screw James. This is my chance to prove myself.
I swallow hard. I’m not entirely sure how this will go down. “I-uh...I need access to Mirage.”
Silence.
More silence.
I chance a look at Bob, who watches me curiously through narrowed eyes. He asks carefully, “Why do you need access to Mirage?”
Standing straighter than a wooden plank, I put forward my best game-face and announce, “I’m attending a job with Ari tonight. I need access to Mirage to prepare myself.”
Frankie’s mouth gapes. Behind her eyes, I see her brain working a mile a minute. Finally, she whispers in awe, “This is a big deal.”
I agree. It really is.
Bob stares at me, into me. “You ready for this?”
I respond immediately, “Yes, sir.”
He swipes a hand down his face, looking anxious. “If this is about what happened yesterday in our session—”
I cut him off with a firm, “I’m ready, Bob. Really. I’m ready.”
Frankie pulls me tighter into her body. A silent show of support.
The look on Bob’s face worries me. He’s having a hard time believing me. He looks to be mentally arguing with himself.
Frankie offers, “Bob, if you’re worried, I can go too.”
I roll my eyes, shrugging out of her hold. “I don’t need a damn babysitter, Frankie.”
She raises her hands in surrender and immediately backtracks. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
My glare trains on her. “How did you mean it then?”
Bob stops our almost argument with, “Okay. You can go.”
We both turn to look at him in disbelief.
Watching him a while, I ask quietly, “Really?”
He nods once. “Yes. I trust your judgement. If you tell me you’re ready, I believe you.”
I tell him, “I am. I can do this.”
He breathes in and replies on an exhale, sounding suddenly tired, “I know you can.”
Right then, I vow that Bob won’t have any reason to feel anxious about my working at Mirage.
I can do this.
I can.
Chapter Four
“The key is to not think about them as people,” informs Bob. “You should think about them as pests that need to be exterminated.”