“But…” She seemed at a loss. “I didn’t even know you were having problems.”
“It’s not something I wanted to face. But now that I’ve made the break, I feel like a new man.”
She said nothing.
“And it’s been coming for a long time,” he added. When he’d gone home and broken the news to Mercedes she didn’t even cry. She’d acted relieved, and that was how he felt, too.
Peyton set her purse and briefcase on the picnic table as if they’d become too heavy. “Rick, I’m getting some weird vibes here. Please tell me this has nothing to do with me.”
“You didn’t cause it. You just showed me it doesn’t have to be the way it is.”
When she hugged herself, he nearly repeated his suggestion that they go inside. She was cold. And if he could have a few minutes to explain everything in the warmth and quiet of her house, he felt confident she’d understand.
But if he pushed her to go in she’d just tell him to find Skinner. She was set on making that happen, and she was right to be anxious about it. Today he’d let his personal problems intrude, but that wasn’t like him, not when he had so much riding on this investigation. He was counting on the goodwill and gratitude that would be generated among his superiors when he made it possible to curtail the criminal activities of the Hells Fury.
“How?” she said. “I don’t understand the sudden switch.”
“Like I said, it’s not as sudden as it seems.”
“I’m not only talking about your divorce. It’s…your attitude toward me. Where is this coming from?”
“I’m attracted to you, Peyton. I have been for a few years.”
“But…”
“I just never let myself consider it. Thinking about it scared me because I knew I’d feel too unsatisfied with Mercedes.”
“Rick, don’t do this—”
He had to stop her before she made up her mind. She was exhausted, stressed, preoccupied, wasn’t really taking in what he was telling her. “I realize it’s a lot to grasp with everything else that’s going on. Just…know that I’m interested, okay? You don’t have to settle for someone like Virgil. You have options.”
“Options? You’re my boss!”
“I don’t work at the prison. That should alleviate the department’s potential concerns. It’s not as if the director would ever encourage a relationship, but you and I both know it happens and it doesn’t necessarily mean a loss of employment. I think we can get Tillamont’s blessing to at least start dating. After that, we’ll take it one day at a time.”
She covered her face. “This can’t be happening.”
“Just think about it.”
“Fine.” She dropped her hands. “I’ll think about it if you’ll make me a promise.”
“What’s that?”
“You’ll keep what I told you to yourself and wait until this investigation is over before we deal with anything between us. Operation Inside is all I can focus on right now. It scares me, as you know. So will you go get Virgil?”
That she kept going back to Virgil brought a fresh twinge of jealousy. She could act a little grateful that he was willing to speak to the director so they could see each other, couldn’t she?
But maybe he was expecting too much. She was as ragged as he was. So he tamped down the negative emotion. “If it’ll make you happy, I’ll go and grab him.”
“You might want to drop him off here, then go to the motel for his bag. I don’t think he should show up there at all, do you?”
He’d be leaving them alone together; that registered immediately. But he was crazy to worry. Peyton wouldn’t want someone like Virgil now that he’d let her know she could hope for so much better. “You’re probably right,” he said, and strode off.
“God, if I hang on to my job, it’ll be a miracle,” Peyton muttered as she stood on the deck listening to the sound of Wallace’s car growing fainter. She was so shocked by what he’d told her she hadn’t known how to respond. She wasn’t interested in him. She’d never be interested in him. But there was no reason to make that as clear as she wanted to. Not right now. They were all in a very tenuous position. She needed to keep Rick on her side for Virgil’s sake, if for no other reason. It would be smarter to get through the coming weeks without defining anything that might upset the delicate balance of ego, desire, jealousy, pride, ambition—even survival instinct—ebbing and flowing between the three of them. If she kept Rick mollified, she’d have a greater chance of retaining control of the situation at Pelican Bay, and that meant Virgil would have a greater chance of surviving his experience there.
Telling herself that Rick would soon go back to Sacramento, which would make it easier to ignore everything he’d just said, she went inside to change and make dinner. Never would she have guessed that she’d have both Virgil and Rick Wallace over for a meal, let alone staying the night.
But without knowing what was causing the unrest in gen pop, she wanted to be as cautious about Virgil’s safety as possible.
“You told him, didn’t you.”
Peyton jerked around to find Virgil standing in the kitchen doorway. She’d been so focused on preparing the fish she’d taken from the freezer she hadn’t heard him come in. She hadn’t even heard Rick’s car, but in this part of the house, she didn’t always know when a vehicle pulled up. “Is he here?” she whispered, angling her head to look past him.
“No. He went to get my things from the motel.”
Pretending not to notice the spark she felt at his proximity, Peyton slipped past him and went into the living room so she could check a side window, just to be sure. Her driveway was empty.
Virgil didn’t leave his post in the kitchen doorway, but he turned to face her. “Well?”
“I did,” she admitted.
Muttering a curse, he took his hand from his pocket long enough to scrub his face. “What were you thinking?”
“I was putting a stop to our…affair or whatever you want to call it.”
“By trying to get me killed?”
His words scraped her nerves like sandpaper. “No. Of course not.”
“You’ve given him the perfect excuse to make my life miserable. You know that, right? Don’t you understand how much he wants you? How much it’ll bother him to think I got there first?”