But she’d underestimated his power over her. Because even as an adult, she couldn’t be remote with him, couldn’t reserve any small part of herself. She was falling in love so hard and fast she could feel the ground rushing up to meet her.
She froze at the thought, and he stopped moving.
“Am I being too rough?” he asked, his breathing ragged. “Am I hurting you?”
“No.” He was doing the exact opposite, making her feel things she hadn’t experienced since the last time he’d made love to her. She was twelve years older and still wanted to believe in what she felt, which was foolish. Trying to hold on to Cain’s affection was like trying to capture sunbeams in a jar.
He pushed the hair from her forehead. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing.” She used her hands to urge him to continue, but when he tried to kiss her, she turned her face away. Then he froze, too, and fell silent for several seconds.
“Sheridan?” he said at length.
She could hear his confusion. Only moments before, she’d eagerly accepted his openmouthed kisses, matching his passion with her own. And now she was sick with a frightening sense of déjà vu. “What?”
He scraped his thumb along her bottom lip. In the flickering light from the television, she could see the furrow that’d formed between his brows. “What happened?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“Then why are you suddenly holding out on me?”
“I’m not holding out.” She angled her hips to show him she hadn’t brought him to this point only to shut him down. She knew that wouldn’t be fair. But the attempt wasn’t good enough to convince him.
“I don’t want this to be a solo journey. I want to take you with me,” he whispered.
She’d almost been there. She’d felt the tension building and bailed out at the last minute. Bringing her pleasure was too easy for him. She didn’t want him to make her feel more than other men did. “It’s not going to happen for me. Go ahead.”
“It’ll happen if you stop fighting it.”
“No, I’m not even close.” She lowered her eyelids so he wouldn’t see it was a lie, but he knew anyway. He slowed down, as if they were starting all over, and although she wouldn’t kiss him, he found plenty of other things to do with his mouth. “Do you like that?” he murmured as his tongue caressed the tip of one breast.
He knew she liked it. She couldn’t help squirming beneath him, and she had goose bumps down to her toes.
“You’re not playing fair,” she accused him, and was rewarded with the sexiest smile she’d ever seen.
“No one said I had to play fair.” His thrusts were slow and steady enough to make her crave the natural escalation they promised. “Quit denying yourself. Quit denying me,” he said, and lowered his mouth to her neck.
She knew he’d leave a telltale mark and tried to stop him, but he’d succeeded in changing the focus of her defenses long enough to get what he really wanted. As she struggled to push his mouth away, he moved deeper and faster, and she could no longer resist the building pleasure. She cried out as her body convulsed—and he closed his eyes, as if it was all he could do to hold out for a few seconds more.
“That’s it,” he murmured. “There you go.” But then he couldn’t talk anymore because his body was doing the same.
15
Shit. She’d made the same mistake again. After twelve years. Given it all away without reserve, just like before. Now Cain was half lying on her, his naked body slick with sweat, his heart pounding as he recovered.
A little late to say no.
I’m an idiot. What was it about this man? Sheridan asked herself. With him, she couldn’t think straight, make smart decisions or keep her clothes on.
“You’d better not have given me a hickey,” she warned.
He chuckled, his breath warm on her shoulder. “You already have so many marks on you no one’ll notice.”
“Are you kidding? Everyone will notice.”
“Mmm…” he muttered lazily. “Serves you right.”
“How?”
“You made me do it.”
“No, I didn’t!”
“Yes, you did. You forced me—” he kissed the skin closest to his lips “—to take desperate measures.”
Sheridan wished she could be angry. But she wasn’t. She was caught in the blissful aftermath of lovemaking and wanted nothing more than to curl up with him and sleep.
He lifted his head to look at her. “Admit it—you’re glad.” He tried to peck her lips but she dodged him again.
His smile disappeared as his mood shifted from satisfied, even happy, to wary. “Why won’t you kiss me?”
She didn’t answer him directly; she wasn’t sure herself. It just seemed the only way to hang on to a vestige of her resistance. “You’re too cocky,” she complained. “I’m going to bed.”
He kept her pinned beneath him. “With me, though, right?”
“Alone.” She needed time and space to reconstruct the barricades he’d just mowed down, to convince herself to be more careful in the future. It wasn’t going to be easy. This had been the best sexual encounter of her life—probably because she’d never wanted anyone else so badly.
Some things never changed….
His expression grew unreadable. “Fine. Suit yourself.” He moved so she could wriggle out from under him. But when he realized she was actually leaving, he came up from behind, lifted her over his shoulder and carried her into his own room.
“What’re you doing?” she demanded.
“Taking you to bed.”
His shoulder pressing into her stomach made it difficult to talk. “I can…see that. The question is…why?”
“Because I’m too exhausted to worry about you.”
“What do you mean?”
He maneuvered carefully so she wouldn’t hit any part of the doorframe. “You think I want to wake up to find you lying in the road, like Amy?”
“I guess that’s one way…to get rid of…old lovers.”
Horrified by her own careless remark, she knew instantly that she’d gone too far.
His step faltered. “On second thought—” he dumped her on the bed “—go put on some clothes.”
Sheridan went into the living room and pulled on her T-shirt. Then she hovered in Cain’s doorway. If she got in her own bed at this point, she doubted he’d stop her, but Amy’s death had troubled him deeply. It troubled her, too, left her confused and sad and far too vulnerable.