“Ethan’s full of contradictions,” she said. So was she. She knew there was no point in giving Nate her love, but she couldn’t overcome what she felt. When the Covenanters had held him on the ground and were coming at him from all sides, and she hadn’t been sure she’d be able to stop them from doing him serious harm, she’d realized it was futile to fight her feelings for him. Whether he cared about her or not, she was in love with him, and there was no changing that.
“How do you explain the orgies?” he asked. “Martha said he participates, with women.” His mouth was an inch from hers. She could feel his breath fan her cheek. She tried not to remember the sensuality of his kiss or how much she enjoyed the softness of his lips and the way they moved on hers.
“She also said he sleeps with other men’s wives when he visits the various tents at night.” Wrestling with the magnetism she felt whenever she was in Nate’s presence, she took a deep, steadying breath. “My guess is there’s no limit to his depravity. When Abby was here, she picked up on something that suggests they have a pit of some kind, where certain rituals occur. What they are, I don’t know. But a pit doesn’t sound like a place you’d want to be, does it?”
“Definitely not.”
When the roughness of his chin touched her jaw, she tilted her head so their lips brushed. She wasn’t sure if she’d initiated the contact or he had. He certainl hadn’t avoided it. But the way her heart slammed against her chest set off a warning bell in her head. She couldn’t make love to him again and expect to act indifferent afterward.
Pulling back, she reached for the door handle. “You should go.”
He grabbed her hand. “I’m not leaving. Not yet.”
“But if they catch you here—”
“They won’t. We’ll wait until they’re asleep, or so preoccupied we could tramp through the place without being heard. Then we’ll look for Martha.”
“I can do that by myself.”
“I’m going to help you. The sooner we find her, the better. For her, and for you. I want to get you out of here.”
That sounded so protective, as if he cared about her. But he didn’t. Like any good leader, he was simply concerned about his team. “It’d be better if you left.”
“Why?”
She had plenty of reasons, but the one she mentioned wasn’t the one uppermost in her mind. “If I’m caught snooping around, I can make up some excuse and maybe Ethan will believe me. If we’re caught together, any chance of finding Martha and Sarah or gathering evidence against Ethan will be lost.”
“Then we won’t get caught.”
If he wouldn’t go, they needed to get to work—or do something else to stop the terrible longing. “Why won’t you ever cut me a break?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“You want me to go.”
“Yes.” She didn’t bother to conceal the frustration boiling up inside her. One way or another, she had to get out of this dark bedroom. If she stayed another second, she’d throw herself at him and lose what little self-respect she’d managed to recover since she’d let herself into his condo and given him the surprise of his life.
“Even if I was willing, I can’t do that now.”
“Why not?”
“We have to wait, make sure they’re asleep.”
She swallowed hard. “How long?”
His lips were at her ear again, teasing, tempting. They were all she could think about. “Fifteen or twenty minutes.”
And what would they do in the meantime? Fifteen minutes sounded like an eternity. She couldn’t hold out much longer. She felt as if she were clinging to the side of a cliff and quickly losing her grip.
Succumbing to a fatalistic impulse, she considered letting go. Maybe she’d fall to the rocks beneath, but what a way to go….
“Nate?” she murmured.
“What?”
“What would you do if I kissed you?”
“What do you think?”
“You’d kiss me back.” She just wished it could mean something….
He didn’t wait for her to make the first move. Cupping her face in his large hands, he touched his lips to hers.
She didn’t want it to be as good as it was. But the pleasure that surged through her confirmed what she’d already guessed. All her efforts to fall out of love hadn’t worked. As his tongue slid against hers and his hands parted her robe, she began spinning hopelessly and completely out of control.
29
Afraid to use the bed or even a wall for fear they’d make too much noise, Nate urged Rachel down on the carpet. But he was pretty sure she didn’t mind. The way she was tugging at his pants told him she was just as desperate, just as eager, as he was.
The rough spontaneity of their actions created the perfect outlet for the emotions that had been raging inside him all day—the worry, the concern, the fear, the anger, even the jealousy. How dare Ethan remove Rachel’s wedding ring? How dare he tell Bart she was his wife? Ethan had no right. Maybe she wasn’t really married to Nate, but Ethan didn’t know that.
The relief he felt at being with her, at seeing her so animated and responsive, like she’d been that first time in January, made the pleasure more intense than ever before. This wasn’t Susan; Rachel wasn’t anything like Susan. He should’ve realized that long ago. Rachel was tougher than he’d given her credit for, one of the toughest women he’d ever met.
The moan she attempted to stifle as he pushed inside her made him realize he had less control than ever before. They were just getting started and already he was on the edge. It was because he’d been so afraid he’d never see her again. Yet here she was, wrapping her legs around his hips and pulling him deep.
“You feel so good,” he muttered, but he couldn’t think about that or their lovemaking would be over far too soon. He definitely didn’t want it to be like it had been at the trailer. This time, she was going to enjoy it as much as she had the very first time they’d been together.
“That’s it,” she gasped as he struck a rhythm they both seemed to like. “Don’t stop.” As she arched into him, gripping his bu**ocks, he begged his body not to let him down. Hang on. Not yet…
Soon they were both breathless and slick with sweat, but he continued to thrust into her, gripping the corner of the dresser for leverage as her hips rocked up to meet his. He thought he didn’t have a chance of holding out. But then she gasped and he knew he’d made it. She was there, right where he wanted her to be. They were both there.