He circled the block, dashing haphazardly from one bush to another, feeling now very much like John Belushi breaking into Dean Wormer’s office in Animal House.
Animal House and The Dirty Dozen. Myron watched too many movies.
As he continued to spiral closer to the Coldrens’ residence, Myron realized that there was probably a good chance that he’d be the “spottee” rather than the “spotter.” He tried to hide himself better, to concentrate on making himself become part of the night, to blend in to the background and become invisible.
Myron Bolitar, Mutant Ninja Warrior.
Lights twinkled from spacious homes of stone and black shutters. They were all imposing and rather beautiful with a tutelary, stay-away coziness about them. Solid homes. The third-little-piggie homes. Settled and staying and proud homes.
He was getting very close to the Coldren house now. Still nothing—not even a single car parked on the roads. Sweat coated him like syrup on a stack of pancakes. God, he wanted to take a shower. He hunched down and watched the house.
Now what?
Wait. Be on the lookout for movement of some kind. Surveillance and the like was not Myron’s forte. Win usually handled that kind of stuff. He had the body control and the patience. Myron was already getting fidgety. He wished he’d brought a magazine or something to read.
The three minutes of monotony was broken when the front door opened. Myron sat up. Esme Fong and Linda Coldren appeared in the door frame. They said their good-byes. Esme gave Linda the firm handshake and headed to her car. Linda Coldren shut the front door. Esme Fong started her car and left.
A thrill a second, this surveillance stuff.
Myron settled back behind a shrub. There were lots of shrubs around here. Everywhere one looked, there were shrubs of various sizes and shapes and purposes. Rich blue bloods must really like shrubs, Myron decided. He wondered if they had had any on the Mayflower.
His legs were beginning to cramp from all this crouching. He straightened them out one at a time. His bad knee, the one that ended his basketball career, began to throb. Enough. He was hot and sticky and in pain. Time to get out of here.
Then he heard a sound.
It seemed to be coming from the back door. He sighed, creaked to his feet, and circled. He found yet another comfy shrub and hid behind it. He peered out.
Jack Coldren was in the backyard with his caddie, Diane Hoffman. Jack held a golf club in his hands, but he wasn’t hitting. He was talking with Diane Hoffman. Animatedly. Diane Hoffman was talking back. Equally animated. Neither one of them seemed very pleased. Myron could not hear them, but they were both gesturing like mad.
An argument. A rather heated argument.
Hmm.
Of course, there probably was an innocent explanation. Caddies and players argue all the time, Myron guessed. He remembered reading how Seve Ballesteros, the Spanish former Wunderkind, was always fighting with his caddie. Bound to happen. Routine stuff, a caddie and a pro having a little tiff, especially during such a pressure-filled tournament as the U.S. Open.
But the timing was curious.
Think about it a second. A man gets a terrifying call from a kidnapper. He hears his son scream in apparent fright or pain. Then, a couple of hours later, he is in his backyard arguing about his backswing with his caddie.
Did that make sense?
Myron decided to move closer, but there was no straight path. Shrubs again, like tackle dummies at a football practice. He’d have to move to the side of the house and circle in behind them. He made a quick bolt to his left and risked another glance. The heated argument continued. Diane Hoffman took a step closer to Jack.
Then she slapped him in the face.
The sound sliced through the night like a scythe. Myron froze. Diane Hoffman shouted something. Myron heard the word bastard, but nothing else. Diane flicked her cigarette at Jack’s feet and stormed off. Jack looked down, shook his head slowly, and went back inside.
Well, well, Myron thought. Must have been some trouble with that backswing.
Myron stayed behind the shrub. He heard a car start in the driveway. Diane Hoffman’s, he assumed. For a moment, he wondered if she had a role in this. Obviously she had been in the house. Could she be the mysterious lookout? He leaned back and considered the possibility. The idea was just starting to soak in and settle when Myron spotted the man.
Or at least he assumed it was a man. It was hard to tell from where he was crouched. Myron could not believe what he was seeing. He had been wrong. Dead wrong. The perpetrator hadn’t been hiding in the bushes or anything like that. Myron watched now in silence as someone dressed completely in black climbed out an upper-floor window. More specifically—if memory didn’t fail him—Chad Coldren’s bedroom window.
Hello there.
Myron ducked down. Now what? He needed a plan. Yes, a plan. Good thinking. But what plan? Did he grab the perp now? No. Better to follow him. Maybe he’d lead him back to Chad Coldren. That would be nice.
He took another peek out. The black-clad figure had scaled down a white lattice fence with entwined ivy. He jumped the last few feet. As soon as he hit the ground, he sprinted away.
Great.
Myron followed, trying to stay as far behind the figure as possible. The figure, however, was running. This made following silently rather difficult. But Myron kept back. Didn’t want to risk being seen. Besides, chances were good that the perpetrator had brought a car or was getting picked up by someone. These streets barely had any traffic. Myron would be bound to hear an engine.
But then what?
What would Myron do when the perp got to the car? Run back to get his own? No, that wouldn’t work. Follow a car on foot? Er, not likely. So what exactly was he going to do?
Good question.
He wished Win were here.
The perp kept running. And running. Myron was starting to suck air. Jesus, who the hell was he chasing anyway, Frank Shorter? Another quarter mile passed before the perp abruptly veered to the right and out of view. The turn was so sudden that for a moment Myron wondered if he’d been spotted. Impossible. He was too far back and his quarry had not so much as glanced over his shoulder.
Myron tried to hurry a bit, but the road was gravelly. Running silently would be impossible. Still, he had to make up ground. He ran high atop his tiptoes, looking not unlike Baryshnikov with dysentery. He prayed nobody would see him.
He reached the turn. The name of the street was Green Acres Road. Green Acres. The old TV show theme song started in his head, like someone had pressed buttons on a jukebox. He couldn’t stop it. Eddie Albert rode a tractor. Eva Gabor opened boxes in a Manhattan penthouse. Sam Drucker waved from behind the counter of his general store. Mr. Haney pulled his suspenders with both thumbs. Arnold the pig snorted.