" 'Ah,' he said. 'You do understand.' "I started to cry again. 'Is there no simple watchword?' I asked.
" 'Such as what?'
" 'It isn't always so easy to love and to learn; one can make hideous errors, hideous mistakes, hurt others. Is there no watchword! For example ... in Hebrew the word "Altashheth"-Do Not Destroy.' I could barely speak. I was choked with tears. I began to repeat the word over and over again. I said it in one final whisper. 'Altashheth.'
"He considered, rather solemnly, and then he said, 'No. There is no simple watchword. We cannot sing "Altashheth" until and unless all the world sings the same song.'
" 'Will that ever happen, that the whole world will sing the same song?'
" 'No one knows. Not Medians, not Hebrews, not Egyptians, not Greeks, not warriors from the north countries, no one knows. Remember. I've told you all that can be known. The rest is chant and rattle and stomp and laughter. Now give me your solemn word that you will serve me and I will give you my solemn word that as long as I live you will never know pain, if it is in my power to prevent it.'
" 'I give it,' I said. 'I thank you for your patience. I think in life I was kind once.'
" 'Why do you keep crying?'
" 'Because I don't like to hate or to be angry,' I said. 'I want to learn and to love.'
" 'Good enough. You will love and you will learn. Now it's night, I'm old, I'm tired. I want to read until my eyes close, as is my habit.
I want you to sleep within the bones until I call you forth. Answer no call but mine. There will be none, most likely, but one never knows what demons are up to, what jealous evil angels may try. Answer only my voice. And then we will begin together. If you are called forth come to me, wake me up. I'm not worried about you really . . . With your power, you can get me everything I want in this world.' " 'Everything you want? But what do you want? I can't . . .' " 'It's books, mostly, son, don't get so excited,' he said. 'I have no use for wealth other than the beauty you see around me, which does indeed mean I am rich, but rich enough. I want books from all lands, to be taken to places, to caves in the north, and to the Egyptian cities in the south. You can do this. I'll tell you everything, and by the time I die, you will be strong enough to resist those masters who aren't worthy of your strength. Now go into the bones.' " 'I love you, Master,' I said.
" 'Oh, yes, yes,' he said with a wave of his hand, 'and I shall love you too, and some day you'll have to watch me die.'
" 'But do you love me ... I mean in particular . . . me ... do you love me?'
" 'Yes, angry young spirit, I love you in particular. No more questions before I send you to sleep?' " 'What question would I ask?' " 'The Canaanite tablet by which you were made. You haven't once asked me to read it to you, or to read it yourself, and obviously you can read.'
" 'I can read many languages,' I said. 'I don't want to see it. Ever.' " 'Ah, well, I understand. Come into my arms, kiss me, that's it, on the lips as Persians do, on the cheeks as Greeks do, and then leave me until I call you forth again.'
"The warmth of his body was good to me, so good, and I rubbed my forehead against his cheek, and then without waiting for a further command, I willed myself into the bones, and into darkness. I felt almost happy."
11
As I have already mentioned to you, this part of my story-the story pertaining to my two masters-will be the shortest.
"But I must explain fully about Zurvan and what he taught me and what he was. Masters after Zurvan, whether I remember them in particular or not, did not have his strength, I'm convinced of that, but more significantly, they didn't have Zurvan's interest in learning and teaching, and it was this passion of Zurvan, to instruct me, this lack of fear of me, of my independence, which influenced the rest of my existence, even during periods when I could not recall anything about Zurvan, his sharp blue eyes or his ragged white beard.
"In other words, I carried Zurvan's lessons forever, even during the darkest times.
"Zurvan was rich, thanks to Cyrus, and had everything he wanted; and he was true to his word that manuscripts were his primary treasures and I was sent on many errands by him, to detect the hiding places of various manuscripts, sometimes to steal outright, or merely to come back with information which allowed Zurvan to bargain for them. His library was immense and his curiosity insatiable.
"But the very first day I rose, he had far more interesting lessons for me than how I was to travel, invisible, at his command.
"My first waking the following day in his house was a startling affair. I appeared, fully clothed in my finest imitation of flesh, and in Babylonian long-sleeve robes, standing in the study. The sun was just coming in and making a glory of the marble floor. I watched it for some time, and only gradually became conscious of myself, that I was Azriel, and that I was here for some reason and that I was dead.
"I walked through the house, seerching for other living creaturU1 I opened a door on a painted bedroom chamber. But what struck me was not the beauty of the murals or the arched windows open to the garden, but that a horde of semivisible creatures fled from me screeching and jumping up and down and then surrounding the figure of Zurvan, who lay on the bed as though asleep.
"These figures were not easy to see, flashing between mere outline and bursts of light, manifesting snarling faces and making little screams so rapidly that it was difficult for me to pick out any one figure or even get some impression of any one shape. They were humanlike but smaller, fainter, weaker, and carrying on like crazed children.
"At last they had clustered themselves entirely around the bed, obviously to guard Zurvan or perhaps to seek his protection. Zurvan opened his eyes. He looked at me for a long moment, then rose with excitement, and glared at me, as if he didn't quite believe what he saw.
" 'Surely you remember yesterday, Master, when I came to you. You told me this morning you would call me forth.'
"He nodded, and throwing out his arms, he banished the others, until the room lay empty and civilized, a fine Greek bedroom with admirable murals. I stood at the foot of the bed.
" 'So what have I done wrong?'
" 'You heard me call you in my sleep, that's what you did, and you came, and what this means is your power is even greater than I thought. I was lying here half-awake, merely thinking about you and how to begin, and this was sufficient to call you forth from the bones. The bones, by the way, are there. I didn't touch them. You woke upon hearing yourself the subject of my thoughts.'
"He then pointed to the casket, which I saw was on the floor very near to his bed.