Perception (Club Destiny 6) - Page 119/129

And then he had ended it all with one single word.

“You said you had a business proposition for me.” Logan’s deep voice broke through Xander’s thoughts, pulling him back to the moment.

He glanced over at Mercedes to see whether she was aware he’d been thinking about her. She still wasn’t looking at him, but her interest had peaked when Logan spoke up, so he knew she was paying attention.

“I do,” he told him, tossing back what was left of his drink. It was time to focus on the task at hand. There’d be time to address Mercedes later.

He hoped.

~~*~~*~~

Mercedes spent two hours of her life hanging on to every word Xander, Logan and Samantha spoke while she picked at the food on her plate. She had purposely not made eye contact, hoping Samantha would catch on that she wasn’t in a particularly chatty mood.

While the three of them had chatted it up, Mercedes had only partially heard what they were saying, not because she wasn’t interested in the new business venture that Xander had proposed. No, she was having trouble focusing because she was doing her best to keep her thoughts from getting away from her. If that happened, she was pretty sure she would break down and cry.

The thought pissed her off.

She didn’t cry. Ever. It was easier to keep things bottled up, to never get her hopes up, to never anticipate anything other than what she could do for herself. Yet here she was, wishing like hell Xander would tell her he wanted more than five days. That he realized in that short amount of time that she was the one he wanted.

No, she didn’t like what that said about her either. But she couldn’t deny the hope that had flared deep inside of her when he’d used his safe word, saving them all from disaster.

But he hadn’t wanted to talk about it.

Sneaking out of Xander’s condo before dawn wasn’t the best idea, she had known that at the time. When he had arrived at her front door, insisting that she talk to him, she’d pushed him away yet again. It had been a test of sorts. One he failed miserably.

Or maybe she was the one who had failed.

Rather than stay and talk, rather than push her to open up to him, Xander had given in and walked away. Giving her the space she had asked for.

But why not? Their time was over. He didn’t owe her anything and vice versa.

After he left, she had spent the better part of the morning in her home office and the afternoon with a new client who seemed genuinely interested in purchasing one of the luxurious downtown condos she’d shown him. Even now, Mercedes had a hard time remembering which places she’d shown him.

Considering her state of mind after what had happened last night, Mercedes was grateful her client had been so agreeable. Had he not been, she wasn’t sure what she might’ve done.

Aside from that brief reprieve from her overwhelming thoughts, Mercedes had spent the day in a fog.

She blamed Xander.

The man had left her completely out of sorts. Especially after he’d taken her home from Devotion and cared for her so sweetly. They’d shared a bath and to her surprise, he hadn’t questioned her about what had happened during their scene. She’d appreciated that more than him soaping her up and then using his skilled fingers to make her come apart twice more before they finally fell into bed.

At least she hadn’t had the dream last night. The one that included the shell of a man she’d come to care about more than she was willing to admit. The same man that she had set out to dominate, to prove to both of them just who she was, and failed.

She figured she wouldn’t be having the dream again because she feared Xander had worn her down and her need to dominate was fading like print on old newspaper.

She was a fucking submissive. Wait. Scratch that.

She was his fucking submissive.

The notion was like a slap in the face and Mercedes wasn’t at all happy. Up until last night, she’d been able to tell herself that she just needed the opportunity to dominate Xander. To prove to him that she was merely acting when she submitted to him.

Yeah, well, they’d both learned the cold hard truth, hadn’t they?

Mercedes had submitted to him. Not just once, but many times. Including one time without any provocation on his part.

In fact, last night at Devotion, she had focused more of her attention on Clarissa and less on Xander. Because she knew deep in her heart that she didn’t want to dominate him.

She was in love with Xander Boone.

Head over heels in love with him.

Never in her life would she have thought herself capable of falling in love for real. And definitely not with a Dom.

Then again, it did explain the series of bad relationships she’d had over the years. She’d obviously been going about it all wrong for her entire life.