Sweat streamed down his face. 'Don't you understand what she just offered me? I can walk right back into that room and do precisely what she wants me to do – what she needs me to do. She and I will then walk out of there, leaving two corpses their heads sawed off and planted on that damned table. Damn this, Tavore. Eighty Hands!'
'I understand,' the Adjunct said. 'Go then. I will not think less of you, Kalam Mekhar. You are of the Malazan Empire. Now serve it.'
Still he did not move, nor open his eyes. 'So it means nothing to you, now, Tavore?'
'I have other concerns.'
'Explain them.'
'No.'
'Why not?'
T'amber said, 'There is a convergence this night, Kalam, here in Malaz City. The game is in a frenzy of move and countermove, and yes, Mallick Rel is a participant, although the hand that guides him remains remote, unseen. Removing him, as you intend to do, will prove a deadly blow and may well shift the entire balance. It may well save not just the Malazan Empire, but the world itself. How can we object to your desire?'
'And yet…'
'Yes,' T'amber said. 'We are asking you. Kalam, without you we stand no chance at all-'
'Six hundred assassins, damn you!' He set his head against the wall, unwilling, unable to look upon these two women, to see the need in their eyes. 'I'm not enough. You have to see that. We all go down, and Mallick Rel lives.'
'As you say,' Tavore replied.
He waited for her to add something more, a final plea. He waited for a new tack from T'amber. But there was only silence.
'Is it worth it, Adjunct?'
'Win this battle, Kalam, or win the war.'
'I'm just one man.'
'Yes.'
With a shaved knuckle in the hole.
His palms itched against the damp leather of his gloves. 'That Jhistal priest holds a grudge.'
'A prolonged one, yes,' said T'amber. 'That, and a lust for power.'
'Laseen is desperate.'
'Yes, Kalam, she is.'
'Why not stay right here, the both of you? Wait for me to kill them.Wait, and I will convince the Empress that this pogrom needs to be stopped. Right now. No more blood spilled. There's six hundred assassins in the city below – we can crush this madness, scour away this fever-'
'No more blood, Kalam Mekhar?'
T'amber's question stung him, then he shook his head. 'Ringleaders, nothing more will be required.'
'It is clear that something has not occurred to you,' T'amber said.
'What hasn't?'
'The Claw. They are infiltrated. Extensively. The Jhistal priest has not been idle.'
'How do you know this?'
Silence once more.
Kalam rubbed at his face with both hands. 'Gods below…'
'May I ask you a question?'
He snorted. 'Go ahead, T'amber.'
'You once railed at the purging of the Old Guard. In fact, you came to this very city not so long ago, intending to assassinate the Empress.'
How does she know this? How could she know any of this? Who is she? '
Go on.'
'You were driven by outrage, by indignation. Your own memories had been proclaimed nothing but lies, and you wanted to defy those revisionists who so sullied all that you valued. You wanted to look into the eyes of the one who decided the Bridgeburners had to die – you needed to see the truth there, and, if you found it, you would act. But she talked you out of it-'
'She wasn't even here.'
'Ah, you knew that, then. Well, no matter. Would that alone have stopped you from crossing to Unta? From chasing her down?'
He shook his head.
'In any case, where now is your indignation, Kalam Mekhar? Coltaine of the Crow Clan. The Imperial Historian Duiker. The Seventh Army. And now, the Wickans of the Fourteenth. Fist Temul. Nil, Nether. Gall of the Khundryl Burned Tears, who threw back Korbolo Dom at Sanimon – cheating Korbolo's victory long before Aren. The betrayers are in the throne room-'
'I can make that stay shortlived.'
'You can. And if you so choose, the Adjunct and I will die possessing at least that measure of satisfaction. But in dying, so too will many, many others. More than any of us can comprehend.'
'You ask where is my indignation, but you have the answer before you.
It lives. Within me. And it is ready to kill. Right now.'
'Killing Mallick Rel and Korbolo Dom this night,' T'amber said, 'will not save the Wickans, nor the Khundryl. Will not prevent war with the Perish. Or the destruction of the Wickan Plains. The Empress is indeed desperate, so desperate that she will sacrifice her Adjunct in exchange for the slaying of the two betrayers in her midst. But tell me, do you not think Mallick Rel understood the essence of Laseen's offer to you?'