She was referring to the blonde and I’ll admit her question dumbfounded me. And then incensed me. Did she really think I’d want to go hang out with some random girl when I had Jessie all to myself for the night?
I shook my head, not even giving the girl another glance. “I’m here with you.”
Before she could respond, I raised my shot glass toward her and we did a silent toast. I hoped that would help get my skittering pulse under control.
We made ourselves comfortable on the seats and watched the band for a couple of minutes. She stared at me and then back at the dance floor.
“What?” I shouted, because the music was so loud.
“I’m just waiting for you to belt out a tune and then ask me to square-dance, mystery man,” she said raising her glass and then taking a sip.
I leaned over and found her ear. She shivered, which completely threw me for a loop. Unless I had just startled her because I’d been so close.
“What’s so mysterious about me?”
She shrugged and turned toward me in her seat.
There were people behind us trying to push their way into our space to get to the bar, so I put my hands on either side of her thighs and tugged her chair directly next to mine, creating a barrier between us and the rest of the world.
I kept my hand on her seat near her leg and she looked down at my fingers. Then she tucked her head toward mine and said, “Lots of things have been surprising about you.”
“Where is this coming from?” I turned my chin toward her and now we were huddled together as if in our own little safe haven. I could feel her breaths on my neck and the hairs on my arm stood at attention. “Have you always felt that way about me?”
She shook her head. “Only recently.”
My eyes met hers and she looked so damn serious right then. It felt almost like she could see right inside of me. See all of my secrets. All of the ways I was keeping myself locked in a cage. It was like she was offering me the key to let myself out.
I took that offering and stepped one foot out to test the waters. “Tell me what you mean.”
Some dude reached for his beer on the bar behind me and I lowered my hand, my fingers grazing across her leg. The muscle in her thigh tensed, but I didn’t look at her, didn’t even acknowledge that I’d touched her and God, I had no idea what the fuck was wrong with me. This was Jessie. My friend. The girl I couldn’t mess things up with.
“You’ll think it’s lame,” she said, her breath coming out in little wisps.
I shrugged. Maybe it was for the best that I didn’t push her to tell me. But as we listened to the end of the song it was killing me not knowing what she thought of me.
Finally, my hand brushed up her leg again, grabbing her attention. “Try me.”
She nodded and held my gaze. “It’s just, when I saw you with that girl in the bathroom bar . . .”
I cringed. I should have realized she’d bring that up. Was I about to be schooled by her? I figured that it’d be best if I just waited in silence, allowed her to take the lead for what she’d want to say.
“It’s just . . .” she continued. “I know you hook up with girls but you never really talk about it or bring anyone around.”
“You’re right, I don’t. Because it’s never for more than one night.” Why the hell was I even telling her this? She’d think I was an even bigger man whore now. And that didn’t sit well with me. It was true that I kept that part of myself away from her. Even when the guys razzed me about it, I deflected or joked around about it. “It’s not every weekend. But sometimes . . . it all just builds up.”
“Are we talking about sexual frustration here, Square?” she said, nudging her knee playfully against mine.
“Exactly,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “You familiar with it?”
Chapter Twelve
Nate
It felt like we were crossing a line here. But the way her tongue ran across that bottom lip. Goddamn.
“Of course I’m familiar with sexual frustration,” she said in a hoarse voice. “But I tend to get my needs met from the person I’m dating.”
I nodded. “Still dating Mr. No-Show?”
“Nah, that’s been over,” she said.
“Good,” I said, feeling protective and jealous all at once. “He wasn’t good enough for you.”
“I know,” she mouthed more than said. Because with the music pumping behind us we pretty much had to be good at lipreading. I signaled for the bartender and ordered us another round of beers.
I leaned in again. “So, did I solve the mystery for you?”
She shook her head. “Not exactly.”
My eyes slid up to hers. “What else?”
She spun her empty beer glass around on the bar. “The handcuffs.”
Well shit. But somehow I knew that subject would figure into this conversation. It was hanging thick as a rope between us.
“The handcuffs,” I said taking a deep breath and trying to remain as neutral as possible. “Just an overexuberant idea with an old girlfriend that went south fast.”
“So you’ve actually had a girlfriend?” she asked, more stunned by that revelation then the actual handcuffs.
“Sure, I have.” I hated that the idea of me dating someone was such a surprise to her. But I guess it made a lot of sense. I’d never once talked about anyone significant in front of her.
“So what happened to you guys?”