“You believe that?”
“I believe you don’t mess with Petra the day before the first tech.”
Jeroen walks by. He looks at me and feigns a cough.
“That the best you can do?” Max calls after him. She turns to me. “And he calls himself an actor.”
Linus has the cast do an entire run-through. It’s a mess. Lines are forgotten. Cues are missed. Blocking is flubbed. “The curse of Mackers,” Max whispers.
By six o’clock, Petra is in such a state that Linus lets us all go early. “Get a good night’s sleep,” he says. “Tomorrow is a long day. Call is at ten.”
“It’s too early to go to the bar,” Max says. “Let’s go eat and then go dancing or hear a band play. We can see who’s on at Paradiso or Melkweg.”
We ride over to the Leidseplein. Max is beside herself because some musician who was once in a famous band is playing solo tonight at the Paradiso and there’s still tickets left. We buy a pair. Then we wander around the square, which this time of year is ground zero for tourists. There’s a crowd of them surrounding some street performers.
“It’s probably just those bloody Peruvian musicians,” Max says. “Do you know, when I was little, I thought it was the same troupe, following me. Took me ages to work out they were clones.” She laughs and knocks her head with her knuckles. “I can be right thick sometimes.”
It’s not the Peruvians. It’s a group of jugglers. They’re not bad, juggling all kinds of typically spiked flaming things. We watch for a while, and when the hat passes, I toss in a handful of coins.
We turn to leave and Max pokes me in the side. “Now’s the real show,” she says. I turn around and see who she’s talking about: a woman has her legs wrapped around one of the jugglers’ hips, her arms tangled in his hair. “Get a room,” Max jokes.
I watch them a moment longer than I ought to. And then the girl drops down and turns around. She spots me and I spot her, and we do a double take.
“Wills?” she calls
“Bex?” I call.
“Wills?” Max repeats.
Dragging the juggler behind her, Bex comes up to me and gives me a big theatrical hug and kiss. It’s quite a change since the last time I saw her when she would barely shake my hand. She introduces me to Matthias. I introduce her to Max. “Your girlfriend?” Bex asks, sending Max into a theatrical howl of protestation.
After a bit of chit-chat, we run out of things to say, because we never really did have that much to say even when we were sleeping together. “We should go. Matthias needs lots of rest before so he can perform.” Bex gives an obvious wink in case anyone wasn’t clear about what kind of resting and what kind of performing she was referring to.
“Okay then.” We kiss, kiss, kiss good-bye.
We’re walking away when Bex calls out. “Hey, did Tor ever find you?”
I stop. “Tor was looking for me?”
“She was trying to track you down. Apparently some letter came for you at Headingley.”
It’s like a switch is thrown, the way my body surges. “At Headingley?”
“Tor’s place in Leeds,” Bex says.
I know where Headingley is. But I rarely gave anyone a mailing address at all, and I don’t remember ever giving anyone Tor’s home address, which was the occasional Guerrilla Will headquarters, where we’d go to rehearse or recuperate. There’s no reason on earth to think she’d send me a letter there, that she’d know to send me a letter there. But still, I walk back toward Bex. “A letter? From whom?”
“Dunno. But Tor was quite keen to get it to you. She said she tried emailing you but you were unresponsive. Imagine that?”
I ignore the dig. “When?”
She scratches her brow, trying to dislodge the memory. “I can’t remember. It was a bit ago. Wait, when were we in Belfast?” she asks Matthias.
He shrugs. “Around Easter, wasn’t it?”
“No. I think it was earlier. Around Shrove Tuesday,” Bex says. She throws up her hands. “Some time around February. I remember pancakes. Or March. Or maybe it was April. Tor said she tried emailing you and got no reply so she wanted to know if I knew how to reach you.” She widens her eyes, to show the absurdity of such a notion.
March. April. When I was in India, traveling, and my email account got infected with that virus. I switched to a new address after that. I haven’t checked the old account in months. Maybe it’s right there. Maybe it’s been there all along.
“Don’t suppose you know who the letter was from?”
Bex looks peeved, bringing back a bunch of memories. When it didn’t last between us, and Bex had been nasty the rest of the season, Skev had made fun of me: “Didn’t you ever hear? Don’t shit where you eat, man.”
“No idea,” Bex tells me in a bored tone that seems practiced, so I’m unsure whether she doesn’t know or does but won’t say. “If you’re so interested, you can just ask Tor.” She laughs then. It’s not friendly. “Though good luck getting her before fall.”
Part of Tor’s “method” was to try to live as close to Shakespearian times as possible while she was on the road. She refused to use a computer or a phone, though she would sometimes borrow someone else’s to send an email or make a call if it was important. She didn’t watch TV or listen to an iPod. And though she obsessively checked the weather reports, which seemed a rather modern innovation, she checked them in the newspapers, which somehow made it fair game because newspapers were around in seventeenth-century England, so she said.
“Don’t suppose you have any idea what she did with it?” My heart has sped up, as if I’ve been running, and I feel breathless, but I force myself to sound as bored as Bex, for fear that if I make the letter sound important, she won’t tell me anything.
“She might’ve sent it to the boat.”
“The boat?”
“The one you used to live on.”
“How’d she even know about the boat?”