“Uh, because I knew you guys would still probably be in bed and, given the voracity of your lust for each other, I didn’t want a repeat visual like the other day,” I told him, matter-of-factly.
“Ah. Gotcha,” he said, nodding. “Yup. Totally understandable. Just-uh, yeah. Chloe’s in the kitchen.” He pointed the way unnecessarily, and I slid by him, shaking my head as he shut the door behind me and then disappeared down the hall.
See, a couple weeks ago, I’d been meeting Chloe to pick her up to go out to dinner, but apparently, the love bug had bitten her and Brandon just at that moment and I’d walked into the house to see them…well, how to put this delicately…humping like rabbits hopped up on speed on top of the ottoman in the living room. It’s a little unsettling (if not a little humorous) to lock eyes with your best friend and her lover as he slammed home one last time and they both belted out very loud (and I’m guessing very satisfying) orgasms.
Truth be told, I’d shrieked and apologized profusely as I stood there, but just couldn’t get my feet to move, completely frozen to the spot in embarrassed, abject horror. And, of course, staying true to my (total family trait, unfortunately) usual weird awkwardness, I’d laughed nervously as we stared at each other and then had quipped, ‘Well, I don’t know about you, but I need a cigarette now. Good form, ol’ chap, good form!’ before I’d turned on my heel (finally unfrozen) and walked back out the door. I’d sat in the car until a fully dressed and absolutely fire-engine-red-faced Chloe had slunk into the passenger seat, not saying a word.
So, yes, a little bit of awkwardness still hangs there when I see Brandon now, but I think it’s more on his part, stemming from the fact that all of his sister-in-laws have seen him naked by this point. Again, in his defense, it was all by accident; trust me, my sisters and I have no desire to go around spying on him naked…although, yes, we all must say that he is definitely one fine specimen of totally hot maleness. And Chloe (and Allie) agrees.
I jumped into the kitchen, a ball of wired, blissfully happy energy, yelling, “CHLOE!”
She jerked, shrieked, and sloshed her cup of coffee down the front of her which earned me a nice death stare.
But that changed very quickly to concern as I danced in front of her, flapping and waving my hand frantically in front of me.
“Um, Leah, are you okay? Do you have to pe-OH MY GOD!” she screamed, cutting herself off mid-sentence as she finally noticed the large rock winking from my finger. “Is that a ring? An ENGAGEMENT RING?!”
She reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling it toward her face almost violently so she could get a good look at it and then caught my eye. When I nodded ‘yes’ to her, she started jumping up and down, screeching and babbling and crying, holding my hand tightly between her boobs, which jerked me back and forth wildly until I gave in and started jumping with her.
We were laughing and crying and still yelling at each other with giddiness when Brandon poked his head around the corner, his lips and eyebrows curled up in a concerned, slightly scared, wholly you-two-are-insane look as he asked, “What the hell is going on in here?”
Chloe dropped my hand but pulled me close into a tight hug, swaying me back and forth as she squealed to Brandon, “We’re getting married!”
He blinked at her in surprise before saying, cautiously, “I know, sunshine. We’ve been planning the wedding, and Leah already said she’d be your maid of honor.” He then glanced at me, silently asking me to translate the situation for him, but before I could say anything, Chloe shoved me backwards, but kept my hand.