I nodded, but I could feel my stomach drop to my toes…and it had nothing to do with the baby.
He walked over to me, cupping my face in his hands. I felt tears threaten at the soft, sad look in his eyes. I shook my head no, because I knew something was coming that I wasn’t going to like.
“Baby, I love you…I do. And I know you love me. But…what you and Jacks have is something special. You love each other so much more than you and I love each other. No,” he cut me off when I tried to speak. “I’m not saying you don’t love me, and I’m definitely not saying I don’t love you. But the love we feel for each other isn’t even close to what you and Jackson share. If you’re really true to yourself, and to me, Allie, you’ll agree with me. You know it’s true. And now you’re having a kid together…and…I think it’s best if I bow out.”
“No,” I choked out, the tears falling faster now, dripping down my cheeks. “Why? Why would you do this now?”
He kissed my lips sweetly, the briefest of touches, and then sighed, pressing his forehead against mine and staring into my eyes. “This is for the best, Allie. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, and trust me…it hurts me. God, does it hurt. And don’t think that Jacks didn’t try to talk me out of this, too, because he did. That’s why we were arguing when you came in.”
I could do nothing but shake my head. I squeezed my eyes shut and wanted to plug my ears. I didn’t want to hear this…this couldn’t be happening. “I’m so sorry I pushed you away when Jackson was hurt…I apologized for that, Brandon! Please, don’t do this!”
“Shhh…Allie…calm down, baby. I’ve already made up my mind,” he said gently. “Trust me, I think this is best for us all. But I’ll still be here for you and for the little one here.” He pulled one hand away from my cheek and laid it against my belly. “And for Jacks. Always.”
He took a deep breath, kissed my forehead, and pulled away. “There’s a big tattoo convention out in L.A. that Luke and I have been toying with the idea of attending. I told him today that I wanted to go. I’ll be gone for two weeks or so because Chloe is going with me and we’re going to get her stuff packed up and brought back. I already hired a moving company for you two; they’re coming this weekend to move Allie’s stuff into the new house. I left you a present in one of the rooms, too.”
He turned to Jackson. “Take care of our girl.”
Jackson nodded, but his eyes were sparkling with emotion. “Take care of my sister…and you always have a home with us, Brandon. No matter what.”
Brandon inclined his head, but we all knew that it would never happen. Not now that Brandon was walking away.
“This isn’t goodbye. Not by a long shot. Let’s just say we’re closing a chapter of our lives and moving on to the next. Okay?” he asked. “Take care, baby.” He reached his hand out to run it down my arm, and the minute his hand fell away from mine, I felt him distancing himself- physically and emotionally. Without another word, he turned and left.
The door closed softly behind him and the finality of that movement pierced my heart. I watched Jackson’s face, his emotions playing across his face; regret, sympathy, sadness…and love. I wiped my tears and climbed carefully into the bed beside him, sinking into his embrace with a small sob.
He held me quietly, soothing me with his presence. After a minute, I reached out for my purse and pulled out the strip of photos the ultrasound tech had printed for me. I handed them over to him and watched his smile grow until he was beaming with pride.
“This is our baby?” he asked reverently.